The Bitchy Waiter, Author at The Bitchy Waiter

History Lesson: in 1918 a Waiter Poisoned Over 100 Customers

June 22,1918 Dear Diary, What a day I had today. First off, let me say this: I did not mean to poison anybody, alright? It was an accident and I …

The Bitchy Waiter October 23, 2014

Openers Versus Closers (Yeah, I’m Pissed)

Is there any relationship that is more tenuous than that of the people who close the restaurant and the people who open it? It’s a fine line from one to …

The Bitchy Waiter October 22, 2014

If You Read One Thing Today, Let It Be This (RIP, Sophia)

Some days, I sit at my computer and struggle as I try to think of something to write about for this blog. Complaining about annoying customers is always an option …

The Bitchy Waiter October 21, 2014

It’s Official: Fecal-Covered Tip Really Stinks

Well, here’s some news that will make you want to slather your body in Purell and then crawl into a big Ziplock baggie the next time you go to work. …

The Bitchy Waiter October 16, 2014

Meanest Customer In the History of Serving

I do not condone violence, for I am a lover, not a fighter. The last time I went to fisticuffs was in the fifth grade when I met Gabriel Chapa …

The Bitchy Waiter October 15, 2014

Servers DO Have Names, You Know

Dear Customer, I have a name. I may not give it to you every time you sit in my section and I may not wear a name tag that tells …

The Bitchy Waiter October 9, 2014

If Siri Was a Waitress

Thanks to Jimmy Kimmel, we now know what a shitty waitress Siri would make. I don’t have an iPhone, so I can’t speak personally about everybody’s favorite bitch, Siri, but …

The Bitchy Waiter October 8, 2014

This is What We DO NOT Want For a Tip

You want to know what your server wants for a tip? Money. Preferably cash money but if you want to put it on a credit card that’s fine too, we’ll …

The Bitchy Waiter October 7, 2014

The Most Epic Yelp Response Ever!

There’s a big story out there on the Internet and it involves Yelp, a restaurant in Kansas City, Missouri called Voltaire and a disgruntled customer by the name of Sonal. …

The Bitchy Waiter October 6, 2014

Author: The Bitchy Waiter