Openers Versus Closers (Yeah, I’m Pissed)

anger9
I am pissed off

Is there any relationship that is more tenuous than that of the people who close the restaurant and the people who open it? It’s a fine line from one to the other, because very often people can switch back and forth between the two. One week, you might close for three days and the next week, you are the opener. I am almost always the opener and I have one thing to say to the person who closed the night before: what the fuck is wrong with you?

Look, I get it, You were there until 11:30 at night and you didn’t want to give the dining room another sweep because it was late and you wanted to go home, but suck it up. If you don’t sweep at night, who do you think has to do it the next day? Me, that’s who. I also have to mop and those six or seven crushed Goldfish crackers under Table 16 are not going to go willingly into the mop bucket. That should have been swept up by your lazy ass since it was left there by a lazy ass parent who had a baby who couldn’t get the Goldfish into its lazy ass mouth. That’s the deal: closer sweeps, opener mops.

And why is there no silver rolled? Oh, I know why, it’s because you didn’t ask the dishwasher to run it so you were able to leave claiming there was no clean silverware to roll. That’s not fair and you suck. And don’t tell me it was busy because you know I can look in the computer and see what the sales were for any day I want, right? All I have to do is run a report for last night and see that it was dead enough for you to have time to do something other than twiddle your thumbs for five fucking hours. You had time to pull the broom from your ass and use it to sweep up some goddamn Goldfish crackers and roll twenty-five roll-ups.

And really? There are no paper towels in the bathroom? I have to do that too? How fucking lazy are you? What did you do, just wipe your hands on your apron after you washed them because you knew that I would be here the next day to take care of it? It was also nice of you to leave the coffee pot with grounds in it so that when I went to brew hot water, it produced some leftover weak ass coffee that meant I had to dump it out and then wash the pot.

You’re an asshole, whoever closed last night. A lazy son of a bitch who I hope I never have to work with. I want to report you to the manager so he knows what a horrible employee you are. Maybe you need to be re-trained. Or maybe I need to get out the side work chart and have it tattooed on your face so every time you look in the mirror, you will know what you have to do next. We may not work at the same time but we still have to work together. I am going to look at the schedule and see who was the miserable piece of shit who closed the restaurant last night so I will know who to talk shit about behind their back. I am talking about last night, Tuesday. Who closes on Tuesday nights? Yes, I know who it is, it’s that new girl Angie. I knew I didn’t like her from the first time I worked with her and she was all smiley and everything to her tables and saying “my pleasure” and “absolutely.” And then last week she told me that she needed someone to cover her shift for her because she had a previous commitment at some shelter where she serves food to the needy. God, what a fucking goody two shoes. I wonder if she leaves the shelter in shit shape like she did the restaurant last night. So I agreed to cover her shift because I’m so fucking nice and friendly and where does it get me?

Wait, I covered her shift for her. On Tuesday night. Last night. I closed last night. Nevermind.

I wait tables and bitch about it on my blog, The Bitchy Waiter.

42 thoughts on “Openers Versus Closers (Yeah, I’m Pissed)

  1. Love this. I laughed way too hard.

    I’m a night person so almost always been a closer(u. Don’t want to know me that early ). But people hate when I close because I won’t sign u out until I’ve actually checked ur tables and made sure your side work was done! I ain’t ur mama I’m not here to clean up after you! Do your work as I do mine! 😉

  2. I always open. I rarely close and that’s due to the place closing early for a holiday or a private event. I get there at 9:50 every morning. We open at 11 am and I get things done usually 5 minutes before. C’mon people, did you not see that big glob of sauce, or that huge chunk of meat on/under the table(s)??!! How could you not see that fry smooshed on the chair??!! Oh, it was too dark? Really!!? Oh, there were people still sitting there and you didn’t want to clean around them?? Biggest hint of “GTFO” if ever I saw one!!! You didn’t roll 7-20 silverware because the dishwasher got to them too late? And what were you doing? Standing there moaning about that table that won’t leave? Wash the dayum silverware yourself, lazy ass!!! You cut 2 people before they did their work? Hmmm, seems to me they could have stayed a bit longer. It’s worse after a band played the night before. Everyone forgets everything and just wants to leave. I get that. I do, but really? Even thinking, “hey, the opener can do it.” is worse than not doing it.
    I: clean tables, sweep floors, vacuum rugs, cut lemons, wash/rinse out tea urns, make tea, assemble soda machine, wipe down patio tables, arrange patio pillows, open patio umbrellas, fill cleaning buckets, check bathrooms for paper needs, turn on faucets for quicker hot water, turn on the lights, fill ice machine, roll left over silverware, fill and arrange sauces, sweep parking lot, wipe door windows, fill server station ( to go cups, ramekins, lids, to go boxes, to go cutlery), and make house dressings. If I can do ALL of that in 45 minutes to an hour by MYSELF, y’all can dayum well finish your closing stuff before you leave.

  3. Well you think you can just fucking leave at 2 o clock right after you didnt do shit, oh 2 o clock i better leave right this second without mopping, sweeping, or cleaning shit. Then i need to hear about you talking shit all day about night crew doesn’t do shit, night crew doesn’t do shit, bitch you don’t do shit.

  4. I have done both-open and close in all but this current location. The closers do almost all of the openers side work plus their own. If we don’t, we can’t be prepared for our own shift. Funny thing is, we even stock supplies we don’t use on our shift for them. If one of the night staff forgets, they bitch the following morning. We don’t even use that shit!!! Get over yourselves. We do u a favor by doing it and you are ungrateful. Not only that, but after one of the morning shift people had to cover the night shift people, she said she’d never ,EVER do it again because it was so much more work and she didn’t get out until so late. But still has the nerve to complain when something might be missed. I call hypocrite!!

  5. I was dying laughing!! Because…it aint no joke!!! It has always been closer versus opener!! Lol….that was a good one..hahaha.

  6. This sums up everything i am thinking as a waitress!!!!! There is always one woman at work who never closes and has the audacity to complain in the morning when one small task is left like polishing cutlery for example….it takes 5 minutes tops! when she starts her shift at 8am all breakfast preperations are done by 8.10am ( our guests breakfast is served from 8.30am) so she has atleast 15/20 minutes to do prep for the day…..but instead she complains and moans to whomever she can get in ear shot…..shes an old moaner….literally she is not cut out for this industry anymore but she is still there….moaning about every little thing and always wanting a payrise when she does only a quarter of the work we others do!!!
    I feel you bitchy waiter 🙂

  7. Wow! That was funny. I have a hard time opening because there are so many new people at night and they just don’t know what to do. The thing that bent me out of shape the most was when some 10 am person came in and bellowed who opened and was too lazy to get labels?(I had forgotten). So I bellowed back who closed and didn’t set up for breakfast? Silence. ..

  8. maaaannnn you’re lucky you put that last line in there, BW cause i was about to go OFF. I will anyways; Fucking openers! get there at 4 and can’t WAIT to get the fuck Cut!! then when you bring your slip to me and i ask you to fill your salts and peppers and caddy’s, you freak the fuck out like im your dad or something! No, ass-wipe, i’m just the closer who has to late night walk by your tables and see NOTHING BUT DAYLIGHT in your pepper shakers! there’s this attitude that openers have after they’ve been cut, it’s like, it’s like they’re going to Disneyland or something. Fine for You fucktard, but Some of us are doing God’s work and are staying. And don’t get me started on the “Yeah they transferred 103 to you cause they cut me, just wrap my tip” I glare at them and tell them to their face; “You don’t get Squat for leaving, Trust-fund. I’m gonna eat your tip and shit it in your pockets! Now go scarf that crew-meal that you ordered LONG BEFORE you were even cut and i hope you choke on it!”

  9. LOL!!! The ending was absolutely perfect. I have done that! Who the hell closed last night? Wait, holy crap, that was me. Yeah, I suck.

  10. I’m a closer (3pm till whenever) – Any given day have 3-5 staff on open. My first hour consists of: Restock fridges, restock coffee machine, restock grinder, clean toilets, restock towels n toilet rolls, empty bins, clear n clean multiple tables and reset for restaurant service at night, clean cutlery from day shift, clean out stock room, refill stock shelves, check and store deliveries, clean and reset bar, refill ice, – most of which I redo at close of shift (to make it easier for openers). I don’t really care at “end-of-shift” if I forgot to sweep under a table.
    Day shifters – just come in, set up tables and start service. Then spend the rest of day bitching about the closers before signing off. Yay – go the hard workers (my arse).

    Rant over

    1. what the fuck state do you live in where a Closer at a restaurant comes in at three? when the hell do the openers come in? noon? that’s called a double. Unless you close at 8pm they are paying you some serious overtime. Closers should get there at 6-630 if a place closes at ten or eleven.
      8 hour shifts mean you’re sick and tired of everything that moves by hour four. What the fuck? clarify

      1. Have you not heard of restaurants being open 6am-11pm, serving breakfast, lunch and dinner? In NJ, we call them “Diners”….

  11. Loved this! However now I want one about lazy openers! I happen to close more than I open so I’ll come in to a ruined restaurant and bar where the bottles of booze are almost gone, the beers about to blow, there’s no ice, no back ups for anything, no cut fruit, etc… And usually the opener has time to bitch about the closer too cuz they didn’t sweep as well as they wanted you to (when our openers don’t mop-kitchen does!) Or there was a bucket of silverware to be dried and rolled…
    I do everything when I close! I wash everything! I sweep everything! I stock everything! I break everything down and cover everything or soak everything else for the night.. All the opener has to do is put together what was broke down, put down chairs and turn in the damn light. When I open I make backups, cut and stock fruit, roll silverware from the night before (cuz there will always be silverware from the night before from that couple near closing who just needed those nachos!) And I still have time to spare! I’d open over close ANY day!

  12. As much as closing and opening sucks, I know when I walk in for opening, everything is exactly how I want it. It gives me a good,relaxed start to the day, versus racing around putting things in order. At least, that’s what I tell myself, so I’m not in such a shitty mood. Love ya B.W.

  13. Great post BW. I remember closing knowing I had to open the next day and trying to decide if I wanted to go to bed early [not do the night stuff] and get up early or did I want to sleep in a bit. I usually opted to get it all done the night before because I was already there.

  14. They’ve started requiring us to say “it was my pleasure helping you today” to every customer at my job…. Every time I have to say it, I die a little inside.

    1. Ha that’s why I quit one of my jobs. First they changed the phone greeting to “thank you for calling (shit hole) where the folks are friendly, now serving breakfast on weekends, this is blah blah how can I help you?” I refused to say all of that due to the embarrassment factor. Then wanted us to run up and hold the door for every customer we saw walking towards the door. Not including and lol the other crap. Last corporate restaurant I worked at.

  15. After reading all the comments AND the “rant” from the pissed off “opener”. It seems like you have no management in the restaurant. Ours was dealt with immediately from the head server and hostess. If the back room was not vacuumed by the server in her section, other servers were told to leave it & left a note for the owner. It happened on too many occasions as they wanted to “hurry and leave” – when they came in the next morning to work – they had to vacuum their area before starting their day. Same goes for side work. If you allow it to continue on a daily basis, without resolution, and just complain, its your fault. Do something about it – confront them and/or bring them to the owner of the establishment. Put them in their place as its not fair for the other employees to p/u the slack because they are lazy. Give them specific side work to do, have the Hostess check their work BEFORE they leave. YOU are the one that has to make the difference by standing up to them. Not just by complaining and yelling.

    1. Why ask yourself “who opened or closed today?” There are work schedules with servers names and times listed. Check the schedule, find out who opened and confront. Try it – it works. They’ll get sick of being approached by you and get their side work done and done properly!

    2. Did you even actually read this post? At the end he clearly says that he was the closer the previous night. And all you will accomplish with your methods of “report the offender and tell him/her what sidework to do” will only serve to piss off your coworkers and lead them to resent you. Would you like to be ordered around by your peers? I would assume not.

    3. Did you miss the last line of the post? He was ranting at himself because he closed AND opened. He didn’t do the closing work he was supposed to, so when he opened he had to do.

      Good suggestions, but he wasn’t talking about fellow coworkers.

  16. This is so dead on its scary! Glad I’m not the only one bitching as I open due to the closers shitty excuse for the way they left the restaurant.Lol. Preach on 🙂

  17. I always close. We do have to have someone check us out and make sure all of our work is done… but the openers do not… Who in the F*** opened today? Where are the lemons? What did you only cut two of them and said it was done, when we need like 50 cut up. And a machine does it, so no excuse! WTF where is all the ICE??? Yes the closers fill it up, but some does melt over night. Where is the salt for my table?? Yes, last night was “salt cleaning” night, and we had to pick them all up! I shouldn’t have to scramble around looking for them! OMG now you want to be cut early? What is wrong with you, you worked 4 hours! Yes we are about to get busy, that is why you are not a manager! Oh I heard you b**** I had a good section? We can trade and you can do my side work tonight and be the last to be cut! OMG grow a pair and suck it up!

    1. It was, lol. I’ve done the same thing a few times. Nothing worse than when the person you just went off on quietly and innocently looks at you and says “But you closed last night”

      Thanks for the blog. I’ve quickly become a fan.

  18. I love reading your posts everyday. I used to do clopens a lot and this post had me laughing out loud that people were staring at me funny…including my 7 month old son. Please don’t ever stop. I find comfort knowing that I’m not the only one.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

I want two things: a shift drink and your email address!

Someday, if I ever get my act together, I might send out a weekly newsletter about the wonderful goings on of the restaurant industry. Or maybe I won't.