Category: Uncategorized

Time to be a waiter again

After six weeks of not being a waiter, the time is drawing near for me to don my apron, slap on a fake smile, put some pens in my pocket …

All-you-can-eat!!!

Buffets are an evil thing. I worked at a place once that had an all-you-can-eat buffet for lunch. It was really popular because people are basically pigs and want anything …

Famous People Suck

I hate waiting on celebrities. I have not had to do it very often because famous people don’t usually come into the places that I have slung hash. Generally, they …

The Penny Story

This story happened years and years ago, but it’s a goody. I was working in this tourist trap in Times Square in New York City where food was way overpriced …

Pitch a tent, asswipe

In the restaurant world, there is something known as a camper. This is someone who stays at their table way too long and then keeps new customers from sitting there …

The countdown begins…

So it’s been a while since I have blogged. Get over it. Here it is. I have had the good fortune to not wait tables for four weeks and surprisingly …

Diaper (#2)

If you read the previous posts, you may recall that some bitch left a diaper at the table one day. An honest to goodness diaper rolled up in a wet …

A Sidewalk Does Not a Patio Make

Let me tell you about waiting tables on a patio: it sucks. My restaurant has a patio in the summer and people knock themselves over to get one of those …