Author: The Bitchy Waiter

I wait tables and bitch about it on my blog, The Bitchy Waiter.

Bloody burger

So you know I hate serving kids, right? And mothers too? I really do, because they think that their kids are the only ones that matter in the whole entire …

Are you REALLY allergic to that?

You know what? If you don’t like something just say you don’t like it. I don’t for a minute buy that your ass is allergic to fucking celery. I almost …

We don’t like children

The restaurant I work in is not for children. I don’t like kids. Cute ones are not any better than ugly ones, they all suck. However, people have in their …

We are not a Starbucks

I have noticed lately that more and more people feel perfectly fine bringing in their own cups of coffee to my restaurant. Do they not get how incredibly rude that …

Hungry people suck

Not only do I have the joy of serving food in a restaurant, sometimes I get to do it as a cater waiter. The best thing about these gigs is …

Yes, the coffee is hot, bitch

I don’t know what it is with old people, but I hope when I am old (in like six years from now) I don’t lose my taste buds. I guess …

Yeah, we don’t have that

So this man came into my place of employment yesterday with his whore wife and their two whore children. They sat at a whore booth and let the kids play …

You’re a horrible parent

So this lady drags her bratty ass children into the restaurant last week. “We’re from California,” she tells me like I am supposed to be all excited about it. Why …