This is why people should tip

I think everyone should be a waiter for six months of their lives. It would make the world a much better place, I just know it. Most people have never waited tables or if they have they forgot how goddamn shitty it can be to depend on total strangers to pay your income. Do you know what waiters usually make hourly? Less than minimum wage. I make $4.60 an hour. That means if I work 40 hours, I would only get $184 for the whole week. That does not even pay for my internets and phone service. Out of that humongous sum of money, I have to pay taxes on tips (whether I get them or not) and my paycheck is usually zero. That’s right, I said zero. Waiters pay taxes on a percent of their sales even if they got stiffed on a check. If I ring up a $75 check and Cunty McCuntcunt decides to leave only $5, the government is still going to tax me as if I had gotten a 15% tip. Uh huh. I pay taxes on tips I don’t even get. It sucks. Which is why customers must leave at least 15% for the tip. Some people are too stupid to figure it out, so they just leave 10%. Ignorance is not an excuse. If you need help, just double the tax so you would be leaving about 16%. Out of the tip that we are given then we have to tip out of it to the bartender and the food runner and the busser. I worked at one place once and we had to tip 40% of what we made. That sucked and I only lasted there for three days. But plenty of people work there and have to tip out the coffee girl, the guacamole maker, the hostess and the ass-wiper in the bathroom. If you have a crappy waiter, sure, maybe they don’t deserve more than 10%. But a good one deserves 20%. I deserve 25%.

9 thoughts on “This is why people should tip

  1. Beck

    It amazes me that America can still get away with not paying servers at least minimum wage. Here in the UK, I get at least minimum, (roughly £7.05) and most people will tip in a restaurant 10% of the bill. Service is still brilliant but we can survive off our wages and not have to rely on tips, which are not taxed.

  2. Joey B

    I been doing this since 1988 . My paycheck is the same , even tho it says the min wage is higher …I just pay more taxes …. I never seen a cent more from ” raising the minimum wages” only dagger stares and shittier tips from angry patrons who knew that now knew they had to pay extra .25 cents for coffee. I still kept my pay stubs -so if u think I imagine it -come to my house & see it in person.

  3. Amanda

    I have read the posts from day one to this one. If you have to put up with as much shit as you do, and have an obvious disdain for the work you do, why not work somewhere else? I don't understand it.

    1. CAB

      This is not the author responding, and it’s not distain. It’s venting and education with sarcasm and bitchy thrown in. I

      Get frustrated when your kids throw a tantrum because they want a candy bar at the store?

      Mommy sites have vent blogs all over the place. Every job does.

      I have literally had people that I know, love, and respect tell me they don’t know how to tip.

      I teach them. I am a stellar server, some are not….I have had plenty. When they are…tip well. Half that goes to all the people behind the scenes.
      If they are slammed busy, tip. If they are chatting and checking facebook, tip less. If they are on the work phone with an 80 year old nice lady trying to make a reservation, remember….you aren’t the only table/task/person asking for something.
      Try it for awhile and get back to me.

  4. Anonymous

    Hi everybody!We are not acquainted yet? It’s easy to fix, my parents call me Peter.Generally I’m a social gmabler. for a long time I’m keen on online-casino and poker. Not long time ago I started my own blog, where I describe my virtual adventures.Probably, it will be interesting for you to read my travel notes and reports about winnings and losses on this way.Please visit my blog. I’ll be glad would you find time to leave your comments.

  5. shmedelle

    When I was waiting tables and bar-tending, we always said, TIP stands for To Insure Promptness. My brother works in Eastern Europe where tipping is not the norm; he said the service sucks!

  6. Masquerade

    Clearly we both deserve at LEAST 50%. I had people tip me $10 on a $9 once. I practically licked their shoes when they gave me a $20 and told me to keep the change.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *