Allergic to “everything”

Table 201 is the winner for most annoying table of the day even though they were only there for about ten minutes. A mother and daughter, neither very attractive. That’s not important to the story but I just wanted to point it out. Daughter waited at the bar for about ten minutes before Mother joined her and they moved to my station. I walked up to the table to greet them as is customary with my exemplary service. “Hello there, how are-” I was interrupted by Mother who sighed and rolled her eyes as she looked at me and said, “We are so not even close to knowing what we want.” Okay. Enough said. Just trying to be friendly. So I ignored them until they called me over. Mother says, “Do you have another menu we can look at?” “No, sorry I don’t. Only the brunch menu today.” Mother sighed again and said “We are gonna have to go somewhere else then because my daughter is allergic to everything on your menu.” Everything? She is allergic to everything? What did she think she was going to find on the dinner menu? A selection of various waters served at different temperatures? So leave then, fine with me. I go to ring up her check for her Diet Coke (which she is apparently NOT allergic to) and return to the table. Daughter apologizes that they must leave, like I care at all. She tells me, “It’s just that I am allergic to anything raw and everything you serve has something raw in it.” Uh huh. I look down at the slice of uncooked lemon floating in her Diet Coke and wonder what was raw in the scrambled egg platter with toast and hash browns. “I’m really sorry,” she tells me. Again I tell her it is so totally fine that they are leaving. Good luck with your quest in finding a restaurant that serves cooked food.

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