This Guy Wants Servers to “Shut the F*** Up.”

lanceLadies and gentleman, I give to you a man named Lance who has very strong opinions about servers and whether or not they should be tipped. I always enjoy when something like this shows up in my inbox because it’s a joy for me to educate them about the wonderful world of serving. Once I mop up the trail of slime that a slug like Lance leaves across my keyboard, I hunker down and figure out what I want to say. Here goes:

Lance believes that servers who think a certain way are ignorant; namely, the servers who believe in the mantra “if you can’t afford to tip, you can’t afford to go out and eat.” I believe in that mantra, therefore Lance just called me ignorant which makes me feel perfectly entitled to respond to his statement. He wants us to shut up and bring him his food. Well, we are perfectly happy to bring his food to him. Whether it’s a bowl of Ranch dressing, a tub of chicken wings, a vat of gravy or a pile of hay, we will bring it. Like farmers, it is our job to fill the trough and feed the hungry swine. In return for that service, we do expect a tip. I am not saying that every server deserves a 20% tip and a pat on the back. By all means, let the level of service determine the amount of tip. A good server is only going to expect a 20% tip when good service is given. We earn it. Lance seems to imply that a tip is given solely at the discretion of the customer with no mention of how good or bad the service is.

“Do your fucking job, or find another one,” he says. Most servers do do their job so most servers deserve a tip. In my case, I have two jobs: one is being a waiter and the other is being The Bitchy Waiter. It’s the second job I am doing right this moment which I think I am pretty good at, hence, the bitching. But don’t worry, Lance, I don’t expect a tip for this. It’s on the house.

One of Lance’s Facebook friends, piped in with a comment and before I respond to that, please excuse me while I pick my jaw up off the floor since that is where it fell when I saw he has a Facebook friend. M says, very wisely I might add, “if someone is not going to tip they should let the server know before hand so that we’re not wasting our time and energy on them expecting to make something.” Yes, yes, yes. If you know you are going to stiff the server, regardless of the kind of service you receive, grow a pair of balls and say it upfront. That way, we can focus our attention on people who will appreciate when we do our jobs well.

Lance responds: “No, this attitude makes people not want to tip. If you don’t like your actual paycheck, get another job. It is NEVER the costumers responsibility to pay a server ANYTHING.”  What attitude is he referring to that makes people not want to tip? Our attitude that we don’t want to do something for free? I think that’s how most people feel about their job. None of us do our jobs expecting to not get paid for it. And the truth is, most servers don’t like their actual paychecks because most of the time there is hardly any money on them. After we pay taxes (yes, we pay taxes on our tips even if Lance doesn’t leave one) the paycheck is minimal at best.

I do agree with Lance that is is never the costumers responsibility to pay the sever. Costumers have very little to do with waiting tables. In fact, I don’t even know if I have ever waited on a costumer since I am not in the habit of asking my customers what they do for a living. If one of my customers was a costumer, I would have never known. However, if one of my customers was a costumer and I gave that costumer good service, then that costumer, who happened to also be a customer, should leave me a good tip.

Lance, I hope you have learned something here. Carry on, cheap ass.


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