Five long years ago, I wrote a blog post about someone named Lance who had some strong opinions about tipping. Namely, he didn’t think servers deserved to be tipped. Of course, I dragged him through the mud, tarred and feathered him and then put him out to pasture like he was a twink on poppers who just got gang banged by a bunch of drunk fraternity brothers. Lance was out of my mind completely until last week when someone else left a comment on that very same blog post:
If you want a tip get a better job. You are nothing but a living breathing conveyor belt. Just a monkey that brings food from the kitchen to my table. I would rather do this myself because it is one less person near my food. You provide no necessary service whatsoever. Just having to speak to you was an inconvenience. I am wealthy and important, it should be an honor for you to serve me. You should understand the hired help should never speak unless spoken to.
The person who wrote this comment has an AOL email address, so that really says everything I need to know about him. He claims his name is Dr. Steinberg and if he truly is a doctor he must be a proctologist since he’s probably most comfortable surrounded by a bunch of assholes. I could give you his email address so you could all reach out to him and tell him your thoughts, but then I’d be in trouble for that and I’ve been in enough trouble as of late.
If this was on Facebook, I couldn’t say what I really want to say because I’d be going against “community standards,” but since this is my blog, here we go:
- “If you want a tip get a better job.” That’s such a funny joke, doctor! I bet your other tips are “don’t eat yellow snow” and “don’t take any wooden nickels.” You should really go on the road and try standup comedy, asshole.
- “You are nothing but a living breathing conveyor belt. Just a monkey that brings food from the kitchen to my table.” Is that really all you think a server does? We also look at our cell phones, serve decaf coffee as regular, and eat french fries off of pates as we walk to tables. If you’re a proctologist, I know you must do more than just look at assholes all day, so give us some credit. By the way, it must be frustrating to look in the mirror and have yet another asshole right there in your face.
- “I would rather do this myself because it is one less person near my food. You provide no necessary service whatsoever.” Trust me, doctor, we would all rather you do it yourself. And while you’re at it, you can go fuck yourself too.
- “Just having to speak to you was an inconvenience.” Then why don’t you order your food from an app? That would save you from having to talk to servers and save servers from having to bear the stench that emanates from your asshole mouth. It’s a win/win!
- “I am wealthy and important, it should be an honor for you to serve me.” I’m important too, doctor. I’m the one and only Bitchy Waiter so if you ever end up in my section it would be an honor for you to have your food served by me. (I may not be wealthy, but I am rich with attitude.)
- “You should understand the hired help should never speak unless spoken to.” Here’s the deal, doc. You didn’t hire the server, the restaurant did. You are not the boss, you’re a customer and a shitty one at that. If you don’t want a server to talk to you, then I would suggest you keep yourself out of restaurants. It’s kinda our job to talk to people, even the people we don’t want to talk to at all.
People like Lance and Dr. Steinberg are part of the reason that restaurant workers are fleeing the industry. If the pandemic taught us anything, it’s that we deserve respect. Maybe this guy really is a doctor or maybe he’s just some punk ass bitch with Internet access. Either way, he’s lucky I didn’t post his email address because servers from around the world would love an opportunity to tell someone like this exactly how they feel. Hell, that’s what I just did and it feels awesome!
Fredric
If you made a career out of being a waiter or waitress you are a huge loser not respect or tip for you
Just a girl
You guys are all SO hostile… that’s the real problem here… Has anyone considered that a job is WORK? Whatever the job may be… And if the customers talked straight to the chef, he or she would be in for a real treat… you think servers can be bitchy?! The kitchen has no regard for pompous aholes such as some of these “rich” people. Also, how is this food cart supposed to get to the correct table? Is a person driving it? Does it go back to the kitchen after every table? Or is the table with the disgusting pimple popper kid next to you touching your food before it gets from their table to yours? At least servers are supposed to tie their hair back, keep good higeyne, and wash hands regularly. And servers have feelings too. They aren’t just teenage idiots. And yes some servers have made a career out of it. There is no need to call them worthless. Everyone works hard, whatever your job. And the service industry is more of a physical job than most and it does take a toll on people. I think a little more compassion for everyone would go a long way. If you feel you don’t have to tip then maybe the servers feel like they don’t have to give you good service. Ever thought that maybe these people who think servers are worthless just haven’t had an actual good server?! Because a good server is a nice person who enjoys serving, that’s their nature. And some of the best people I know!
William
I only own 2 cars. A Porsche 911 turbo, and a Tesla model Y for grocery shopping. When I dine at fine restaurants, I don’t brag to the waiters I don’t really even want to speak to them. They’re not worth my time. They are just the hired help that brings the food to my table.
Wrad
For someone so rich you sure do act the part of a bitch. Is it common for all you internet rich people to be so awful? And btw, I too have 32 corvettes and millions of imagery internet dollars, much like internet you does.
Edward
David you hate me because you are jealous I pulled up in a Ferrari. You hate that I ordered the 30 yr single malt scotch. I t bothers you my Gucci suit costs more then you bring home in 4 months.
You have the audacity to call me bitch. Man?
You are the bitch boy that fetches my food like a dog. Run to the bar boy I will have another 30 yr single malt scotch. No tip for you
David
You seem to be a miserable cunt, Edward. Go fuck yourself with a hot curling iron, bitch man.
Edward
Meg, I dine in upscale restaurants because the meal is hot out of the basting pan or oven and still sizzling. If I took it to go some quality aspects of the meal would deteriorate by the time I get home. The fresh hot baked bread would be soggy and not piping hot. The whole meal would suffer in quality if it was taken to go.
I would rather pick up my food from the kitchen then have a unskilled menial waitress delivery my food to the table. Her job is not needed and should be eliminated. Picking up my own food from the kitchen because k don’t need to worry if her hands are clean or if she is getting sick. It would be one less moron near my food and family. No tip for you.
Meg
Okay, everyone who has no respect or use for servers, why are you dining in a sit-down service environment? Counter-service is widely available. You could chose tasty low-maintenance dining. You could get take-out. You could get delivery (but please tip your driver).
Your comments suggest that you are on a power trip putting down servers but I don’t like to assume.
Ron54
Yo Scott, for someone so self-entiled you sure to wine a lot. Why don’t you work a ‘easy’ job like a waiter? Doubt you’d last too long, but would be fun to see you dealing with costumers who all act like you on the daily. If anything, the waitstaff should be paid more for just having to deal with you.
scott
You are the workers ants The rich people tell you what to do and how high to jump. If you don’t like it, I will simply hire another unskilled worker to replace you.
I am rich ,educated ,and powerful, You are nothing so you call me entitled. I made my own life because I wanted to live a luxury filled life.
You are poor and think I should toss you a few gold coins. Here’s a piece of advice: if you don’t own the floor you pick up the shit that’s on the floor when you are told. If you don’t like it stop being poor.
Ashley
Red, Scott, Brad, Raffi, Gregory, Brian, Dean, Amy and Don, you are a bunch of entitled mouth breathers. Your existence is meaningless and a hindrance to others who are simply trying to make it in this world. I probably should not blame you because your parents were probably entitled pieces of shit who did not raise you right. I hope you can break the cycle before you produce a new generation of pieces of shit. So what if you are a self made millionaire? You are born and die like the rest of us and no amount of money can buy your way out of hell. Since you abhor blue collar workers, please feel free to take care of your own needs and clean your own houses, scrub your own toilets, mow your own lawn, cook yourself your own meals, change your own oil and bag your own groceries. We are the backbone of this society. Just know that your friends just use you, your wife/husband cheats on you, and your kids do not respect you. In terms of the human spirit, you are noncontributors. Just saying.
Red
I think restaurants should get rid of their wait staff entirely. It would be so much easier to just roll a food cart from the kitchen to my table. I just save 20%. Now I can go out to eat more often. I’m not kidding anybody I never tip.
Scott
I don’t tip because I do not value the fetching of food to the table the waiter or waitress provides. I see no value in that, therefore I don’t tip. If I had a choice I would much rather get the food myself.
Before you tell me if I can’t afford to tip stay home. I have a net worth of 9 million dollars. Of that value my home is a million and I drive a 2022 rav4 because I never appreciated fancy cars. It is ridiculous that you feel I should give you %20 of my bill.
All you did was walk my food from the kitchen to my table. Congratulations you didn’t get lost. Still not worth extra money.
Mel
I feel like everyone regardless if your in Customer Service should be treated with RESPECT. No one is better than anyone. If People stop thinking this maybe people will relax a little more and there won’t be so much hate in the world. Servers in general should get tipped for there service and should get paid more hourly too!!!
Love My Servers
The guy who would rather talk to the chef directly should be able to do that. Then he’d know that the reason servers are needed is so that customers don’t have to talk directly to the chef, who in the heat of battle can be brutal. Ask a chef in the middle of service if you can sub mushrooms for the onions if you need a learning experience. Then go to the bar for wine, fill a basket with bread and run to the cooler for butter because someone took the last one, go back to the bar for a second cab, run back to the kitchen to get a salad, which may need a few finishing touches, then return for the entre exactly when it’s ready, get more bread if needed, stacking dishes somewhere on the table. That’s five-star dining.
Secretary
Yikes. That “Dr.” must have the name of Jeckyl…and he needs to Hyde, for sure! I’d like to think that it’s satire, but I have seen people who indeed have that attitude. Mind I’ve never worked in food services, but I’ve dated plenty of waiters and I know most of them work their ass off! One of my deal breakers is a guy who is rude to waitstaff, secretaries (like me) and other jobs that are often looked down upon by pretentious snobs. You’re doing a great service here exposing the jerks of the world like that “doctor.”
Brad
I am a average joe that got rich with a few small businesses that made the lives of average people lots better. Because I can afford fancy restaurants doesn’t mean I am going to waste my money tipping.
If you have an iPhone, the App Store has wine apps that are amazing. I found them from wine spectator magazine.
So now when you go to a fancy Michelin restaurant you don’t have to listen to the Wine Somalia. This job just got eliminated. And to be very honest I don’t even understand why we don’t get a discount if we get our own food without the waiter. The waiter is an unnecessary job. I am at the fancy restaurant for the food not for some worthless Joe to bring it to me and then expect a big tip.
Rolling cart from the kitchen to my table I can do it myself and save 20% on a $1000 bill. I just saved an easy $200.
Raffi Al Manasco
I almost exclusively dine with Michelin restaurants. I have never known anybody that requested a particular waiter, waitress or wine steward.
Nobody really cares about you a simple server. Just bring me the food, speak only if you are spoken to. You are simply a servant. I never leave a tip, because I do not value you.
If you ever said anything to me about not leaving a tip you would be wiping your ass at the nearest unemployment office.
Any teenager can easily replace you. You are an unskilled worker. If I was given a choice. I would rather pick up the food myself because when you come around you interrupt important business conversation.
zanker
Actually as a waiter I average about fifty bucks an hour. Of course I also work in an expensive Michelin starred restaurant and am usually booked a week or two in advance so there’s that. I don’t have to deal with unwashed walk ins thinking they deserve to be treated like royalty on a budget.
Gregory Systems analyst
Bull and shit. We all know you really make teenager money. Maybe when you grow up you can get a real job. Now run to the kitchen and get my appetizer.
william
Teenager money, I make over 120K, work 5 hours a night 4-5 nights a week, have more in the bank that you I can guarantee, you are the monkey chasing the banana, Im just going in the Walk-In and eating it for free. . . AND KAREN, we should eliminate you. . . .
Anonymous
Hey Brian / Dan: please use the same name if you insist on posting the same thing over and over again. See you next month.
Brian
Seriously as a Unskilled Server you want respect? Then grow the fuck up and get a real job. Waiting table is a teenager job for extra pocket change.
charlotte
Tip or get spit. I make friends with all waitstaff.
Dean
I would be embarrassed to be a grown ass adult and wait tables because it’s a teenager job that makes teenager money. Maybe when you grow up you can get a real job.
Amy
Servers Are just trained monkeys that deliver food I could not agree more. I also believe the waitress does nothing to make the meal any better simply by bringing you your food. For that reason I don’t tip.
I think restaurants should just eliminate the wait staff entirely. It would be easier to just get your own food and the price of the menu could drop because you don’t have another worthless employee that you don’t need.
Don Edward
I like eating in expensive fancy restaurants because the food is better then what I can make at home. What I don’t like is having waitresses that need to take my order and deliver food. We should just replace them with a phone we pick up at the table and talk to the chef in the kitchen. I would much rather get the food myself then have a stupid waitress touch it. I don’t tip because walking food to my table is your job.
Fred
https://webapps.dol.gov/elaws/faq/esa/flsa/002.htm
You are a liar because you make minimum wage no matter what and that website is proof you are a liar. Minimum wage is way more than you should be paid.
Soraya
Doc must be an Upper East Sider
Dianne
I would like to serve Lance a big bag of dicks.