Everyone wants their birthday to be as special as it possibly can. After all, not everyone in the world is lucky enough to have a birthday, right? There are only a select few people in the world who know what day they were birthed and those are the fortunate ones who get to celebrate their birthday.
Susan is one of those rare people who has a birthday and in an effort to acknowledge such a special occurrence, she went to Applebee’s on the anniversary of leaving the safety of her mother’s womb. Susan had visions of Neighborhood Nachos with Beef dancing in her head and celebratory servers belting out happy birthday wishes while bestowing upon her endless Blue Ribbon Brownies and Butter Pecan Blondies. Sadly, that’s not what happened.
Its was bad service that she had. And she is not going there anymore.
Applebee’s definitely dropped the birthday ball on this one and because of that, they have lost a valued customer forever. While we do not know for certain what exactly happened to Linda at Applebee’s that she deemed “bad service,” seeing that it was Applebee’s it could have been a myriad of things. From the hostess making Susan wait five minutes until the booth she wanted was cleaned to the server not smiling enough while bring the fifth Diet Coke to the food runner placing an order of Bourbon Street Chicken and Shrimp at the table and forgetting to tell Susan the skillet was hot, it could have literally been anything.
The sad thing is that all of this went down on the most special day of the whole entire year: Susan’s birthday.
On behalf of Applebee’s, even though I have absolutely no affiliation with the company whatsoever, I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to Susan for letting her down on her birthday. Since she has already complained on Facebook about her experience, I am sure that an Applebee’s gift card has been hastily sent to her in effort to lure her back to the restaurant. Susan, if you decide to stick to your guns and never go there again. I would like to offer an invitation for you to spend your next birthday at my restaurant in Queens, New York. All I ask is that you give me two to three months notice so that I have time to hire the marching band and have the new red carpet installed in the dining room. I will also need you to submit your shoe size as soon as possible so I may order your custom made glass slippers so you can feel like the true princess you are. In addition to that, I want to make sure the entire restaurant is staffed adequately so we can have at least seven servers on hand to roll your birthday cake out to you. Also, are you allergic to monkeys, giraffes or elephants? If so, let me know as soon as possible so I can begin my search for hypoallergenic circus animals. Finally, I will need to know how old you are in order to have the correct number of candles and corresponding airplanes that will write out your name in the sky. As soon as you know if/when you will be at my restaurant for your birthday, Susan, please reach out to me by clicking here. I will give you the best service imaginable and make your birthday one you will never forget.
Happy birthday, Susan!