Overweight Woman Offended by Waitress’ Question

boothSometimes our customers are offended by things that we would never expect them to take offense to. No server is going to intentionally say something that would upset a customer and therefore jeopardize the tip. However, there are some Sensitive Sally’s out there who have egos as precious as eggshells and they are constantly on the look out for words and actions they think are being directed at them.

A waitress sent me a photo of a credit card receipt with no tip and and the customer took the time to explain why she had chosen to be a cheap bitch.

Don’t assume people are too big for booth. Very rude.

The waitress tells me that all she did when the woman came into the restaurant was ask her the simple question, “Would you like a table or a booth?” It’s a very common question when one walks into a restaurant and not one to be take offense at. The woman, who apparently feels that people think she is too big for a booth even though servers don’t give a rat’s ass where she sits, was upset.

Attention all people, fat or otherwise: asking if you want a table or booth is your server being courteous, not insulting you. I know there are some people who are too big to sit comfortably in a booth and I am not going to ask them to sit there. On the other hand, if am seating a 350-pound person, maybe I will ask them what their preference is so they don’t assume I think they won’t fit. Even though I know they won’t. Or what if I take them directly to a table, bypassing booth after booth, is that person going to be upset that I didn’t give them the choice? Or worse, upset that I tried to seat them in the booth and then have them not fit? We can’t win sometimes.

I think this woman was overreacting about the question and that was no reason to stiff her server. It’s almost as if she was self-conscious about her size and assumed that everyone was thinking about her weight just like she was. That was not the case. It’s not like the server said any of these things:

  • “Our booths are way too small for all your FUPA.”
  • “Clear the path, everyone! Wide load coming through!”
  • “Thank God we’re not an all-you-eat buffet. We’d lose money today.”
  • “Are you sure you don’t you want a Diet Coke? Or maybe just water?”
  • “Here’s your dessert. I asked the cook to find the smallest slice of cake for you.”
  • “Damn, you’re fat.”

Most of the time, servers are trying to do the right thing. We don’t want to upset you and if we do, I hope you will really think about it and decide whether it was intentional or not before you leave a big fat zero of a tip. (By the way, she ended up seating at a booth.)

And by the way, if you want to buy my book, I will love you for it. Click here. The book is an equal opportunity offender.

34 thoughts on “Overweight Woman Offended by Waitress’ Question

  1. G. B. Miller

    Personally, the question doesn’t bother me. I’m 5’5″ish and about 170 (yes, I know) and whenever the question is asked, my response is, “Whatever is open” because quite frankly, I’ve learned that if you want to get seated in a reasonable amount of time, you give the host/hostess the choice of where you want to be seated.

    The only time that I’m specific is when I’m part of a large party, then it makes a lot more sense to sit the group together at tables than trying to squish them into one long booth.

    Today’s modern world, they usually ask “how many?” and they seat you accordingly.

  2. Susannah

    Am I the only person who prefers tables because I’m average sized? It seems like more and more restaurants design their booths with larger customers in mind, and I end up sitting on the booth 2 feet from the table. Annoying.

  3. Sssusan

    Call me crazy, I tell the hostess my preference because I assume they are not a mind reader. They then typically respond with yes or I have this available now or 15 minute wait for that. And crazy customer me knows if it’s a preference or a requirement for my party and makes the decision accordingly.

  4. Laura

    I had a couple I was waiting on.
    After I took their order, which was like pulling teeth, I asked “can I get you anything else?”
    The man looked extremely confused so I asked if everything was ok. He proceeded to say…
    “I just don’t understand the question. What do you mean, do we need anything else? Do you think we need more food? Are you calling my wife fat?”
    I was a bit unresponsive at first. I eventually told him that it’s just me making sure we didn’t miss anything before I leave your table.
    I pretty much use this line on every table. Same with most servers I know.

    1. Sharon

      WOW! If my husband did something like that to a server, I would embarrass him by yelling, “Why do you assume it is ME that would be called fat?????? Idiot! She’s only asking if you need anything else… like in your case a dang muzzle for your mouth.”

  5. LaFawne

    “Booth or table ?” is a standard question in almost any restaurant. My husband or I usually say “2 for a booth” up front so sometimes they don’t even get the chance to offer. If we have to wait a few minutes, that is fine. We just prefer booths.
    I too think she was just looking for an excuse to not leave a tip. Or possibly this was her first trip to a restaurant!!
    If she is that paranoid about her weight then she needs to not go out in public. I understand being sensitive and I can relate to that but her reaction is beyond reason.
    On the plus side though, the waitress got to be on your page! Yay for her !

  6. Ms.Burke

    I work a a server and occasionally as a host. ‘Booth or table?” Is STANDARD PRACTICE. It ain’t about yer weight hon, yer a cheap dickhead looking for an excuse not to tip.

  7. X

    That person clearly has a sensitivity issue since that question is asked of every guest regardless of size at most restaurants. (In mine we follow a rotation and each server has 1 booth so if it isn’t available, we don’t ask.)

    However, I have had inconsiderate people insist on a booth when someone in their party DOESN’T fit(It is always the tiniest damn person in the group that is like “Oh! Can we have a booth!” )- and then we have to find them a different table. I have seen large people get physically stuck in chairs with arms and had others tell me that they need a chair without arms or that they are unable to sit at a hightop. And if there was a waitlist and you insisted on a booth, not only did you have to wait for a booth, but you may now have to wait for a table. From those experiences of larger people having to be embarrassed by announcing to friends and staff that they cannot sit in a booth due to their size (after trying unsuccessfully to fit), I will generally just take them to a table in the first place without giving options and lets be honest- a larger person may FIT in a booth, but ARE they more comfortable? probably not.

  8. Charlie

    I am also a medium-sized person and I don’t think I have EVER been at a restaurant where I wasn’t asked by the host/ess if I preferred a table or a booth. I especially appreciate this because I’ve had back surgery with surgical implants and some chairs are very uncomfortable for me.

    Further, when I worked as a hostess, I ALWAYS asked every single party what their preference was, when we had both available.

    Pretty sure this customer needs some type of therapy.

    1. The Prozac Queen

      Yes, I appreciated the question after getting my hip replaced and couldn’t sit in low-lying chairs. I don’t always ask because some sections only have one or the other, but if we do that’s a perfectly legitimate question.

  9. Scott

    Since so many people seem to enjoy leaving nasty little notes on their credit card receipts…I think the manufacturers of the receipt rolls should include extra space… A “Corner For Cunty, Cowardly Commentary”. Then leave the disgruntled me-monkey a crayon…Crayon is so much more cheerful for nasty comments. Maybe an orange crayon…

    1. Fafaflunkie

      The manufacturers of those receipt rolls don’t need to provide extra space for cunty customer rants. The only thing the POS system in the restaurant needs a little bit of reprogramming to give Ms. Bitch a few extra inches on the paper to give her a reason for the restaurant to respond back via their website/Facebook page/Twitter account (delete as required.)

  10. Chaz

    I’m more interested in the charitable donation line.
    Annoys me enough when my grocery store asks if I want to donate.
    Can I solicite there as well?

  11. Sharon

    Isn’t that question asked of every customer who comes to be seated?????
    I am a heavy woman. I am always glad when the server or host/hostess asks if I want a table or a booth. To me they are being thoughtful of me!
    I really do not understand what is going on in some people’s minds that makes them think like this.

  12. Christine W Chandler

    A lot of booths will move. Take a booth with no one sitting behind you. Brace your feet on the opposite seat of your booth, and push back. This does, of course, render the booth behind you useless because you have taken all of the space out of one side, but the bonus is no one can be seated immediately behind you to disturb you. If the waiter comes over like he thinks he’ll sit someone in the spare booth you have robbed, just puff out all of your fat and act like it would be impossible to give an inch. You’ll keep your booth. But of course this only works in places where the booths aren’t affixed to the walls or floor. If they’re affixed, you don’t want to eat there anyhow because we all know the staff is too lazy to bend or stoop to sweep under and behind all that, they really need to pull the booths out every night for a thorough cleaning.

    1. Raichu

      Did you just come to TBW and complain about staff being lazy?

      Also do you know how long it would take to deep clean every booth every night??

      (And how many places have moving booths anyway?)

      1. Christine W Chandler

        No, I don’t know how long it would take to deep clean booths, and I doubt you do either, since you’ve obviously never cleaned any. Try eating where they expect you to pay for your meal instead of taking a shift meal, and you’ll find that about half of the places with booths have booths that aren’t bolted. They’re heavy, that’s why you really have to dig your feet in and move the furniture to make yourself comfortable.

  13. Danielle

    As a plus size server the real discrimination is in trying to get a job. I’m an awesome server who has been turned down before & I’m 100% sure thats the reason why.

  14. Michelle

    I don’t think this was about weight at all… I think it was just an ‘excuse’ she used to be a cheap bitch!

  15. Tipsykit

    My husband and I are both pretty skinny and hosts ask us all the time if we would prefer a table or a booth. I would have never thought this was a size-related question. It’s annoying to pick a table for someone, mark the seating chart, and walk them to a table only to have them ask for a booth once you arrive. That question has literally nothing to do with the customer and everything to do with making seating and rotation go smoothly.

  16. Krista W.

    Hey y’all! Really fat person here. I thought I’d drop a line in how I consider the behavior of this customer:


    I can fit my fat a** into a booth, so I prefer to sit there, unless I have my handicap daughter and her wheelchair along. Then, not wanting to block an aisle, we get a table and replace a chair with her wheelchair.

    The waitstaff did nothing wrong.

  17. Eric Kahn

    I am 6′ 6″ and weigh 400 pounds, prefer booths but tell the greeter that I have to try it out if it looks tight, they always ask the booth or table question if the place has a choice, she is just stupid, how could you get that out of a standard restaurant question?

  18. Deb

    This is the customer’s issue, not the servers. I’m a kinda medium person who travels with a portly person sometimes and we are seated at a table when we are together. I’ve seen my friend squished in a booth and it’s not a pretty sight. When I’m with a less rotund buddy, we get a booth. The customer is an awful human being and maybe some of that lard has displaced her tiny brain. I bet the server felt awful though.

    1. mel

      I just think she is so self conscious that she believes everyone else is disgusted and worried about her weight as she is. I feel sorry for her. And the waitress for being the target of this woman’s anxiety that day. I’m a waitress as well, sometimes u just gotta take the good with the bad and move on. Definitely was not waitresses faut though


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