I hate to repeat my myself. I hate to repeat myself. But I hate dogs on the patio of my restaurant. But I hate dogs on the patio of my restaurant. Today I had a dog owner on the patio who blatantly ignored the New York City law of having no dogs on the patio of a restaurant. It is an eating place, after all. However, this is the same lady who ignored the big sign telling her to not seat herself on the patio so she obviously does not appreciate rules and regulations. She was fat. Or maybe pregnant. Not sure. She had her dog with her who she at first carried like a baby. What a sad sad loser lady. She grunted out that she wanted some orange juice. Seriously, as she said it, it sounded like she was taking a dump and was really trying to squeeze out some business. I obeyed and ran away to get it for her fearing that she was in fact defecating right there at table 504. Her husband eventually showed up and I was amazed that a woman like this had found a partner to spend her life with. Apparently, her husband was retarded, blind, deaf and stupid. Then she asked me for some water for her dog. I was in a good mood and didn’t mind doing it at all. I went in, opened a package of “to-go” containers, filled one with water from the tap, placed it by the illegal canine and went on with my business. One minute later, she flags me down. I thought maybe her water broke or she was having a muscle spasm. “This water is soapy!” I looked at it and saw some bubbles. “No, it isn’t. It’s just water from the tap making bubbles against the plastic.” “No,” she burped, “it’s soapy.” “No, it is not soapy,” say I. “I just pulled this container out of the box and its never been near soap. I just put tap water in it.” Bitch didn’t believe me. “Never mind. I am not giving my dog soapy water. I will just give him some of mine.” No sweat off my back, bitch. I didn’t really want to get it in the first place. So what did she do? She emptied the bowl that holds jelly packets and threw them on the table. And then poured her water into it and put it on the sidewalk. Does she really think that the jelly bowl that has been there for days and has peoples hands constantly in it is cleaner than the never before used container I had given her? That jelly bowl is so full of dirt, germs and typhoid that I don’t even like to touch it. Drink away, doggie, drink away.
By letting her bring the dog, then someone else brought two more and then someone brought a Golden Retriever. Gorgeous dog and all that but way too big to be out there. Once I saw it shake and I could see hair flying all over the place. I know for certain that some of it floated onto table 502’s plate of food, but I ignored it. I think they were done anyway. Oh yeah, and plus I didn’t give a poop.