Once upon a time, there was a food critic in Dallas, Texas named Nancy Nichols. About a year ago, she gave up being a food critic, but she still writes articles for D Magazine and the one that came out yesterday was called “My Five Cents: Servers Who Interrupt Table Conversation.” (Go read the article and leave a comment! It’s fun!) In a nutshell, Nancy was upset that she and a friend were trying to have a serious conversation while the server was trying to do her job. Since the waitress has not yet completed her Extrasensory Perception/Mind Reading class down at the Learning Annex, she had to, you know, actually talk to Nancy. Nancy did not approve.
Nancy tells us that the server came to the table four times, each time trying to give them the specials of the day. I can only imagine that the waitress wanted to give them the specials since it’s her job to do so and she can’t perform the next step of service until that one is complete. Nancy asked the waitress to come back in a few minutes and when she did exactly that, Nancy went into “war mode” and kept talking as the server spewed out the specials. Presumably, the server was also in “war mode” so there they were, talking over each other, both people determined to be the victor. The main difference being that the server was doing her job and Nancy was just being rude.
You see, Nancy has already explained to us in the article that when she used to review restaurants, she “always weighed service twice more than the food” and when the service was particularly bad, she found that to be “good copy” meaning it gave her something to write about. In other words, it seems to me, that Nancy is always a little bit hopeful that the service will be poor so she will have something to write about. She also used the word “attacked” when describing this particular server. I dunno, but does it seem that Nancy herself is awfully defensive? “War” and “attack” are not usually words that I would use to describe my dining experience.
After all was said and done, the bill was over $200 and she tipped $45 which is great. I will not debate that. She was also displeased that as soon as they stood up from the table, the bussers “hit the table” (again, so violent, Nancy.) to reset it. That’s what bussers do, Nancy, they reset tables. At the end of her story, she asks her readers how they deal with these “monsters.” Yes, she called servers monsters because we are such scary individuals who want to turn our tables over so we can make enough money to pay our rent and electric bill.
Maybe the waitress was a bit aggressive in trying to announce the specials and perhaps she was too eager to turn ‘em and burn ‘em. On the other hand, no one who is working in a restaurant is there for any other reason than to make money. I can’t tell you how many times I have had customers tell me they want to “catch up” before they order and ten or fifteen minutes will pass by before I go back to the table to see if they are ready only to have them say, “Oh my God, we haven’t even looked at the menu yet.” If I am not there to remind them to order, it’s possible they will stay there all day jib jabbing and forget they are even in a restaurant.
In my world, when the menus are placed down on the table and the customer is no longer looking at them, that is my signal that they are ready to order. If Nancy and her friend had pushed their menus to the side, my bet is that the waitress thought they were ready to order. By the fifth time of going to the table assuming she was about to finally hear what they wanted to eat, maybe the waitress was just as irritated with Nancy as Nancy was with the waitress.
Bottom line: it is our job to serve food and take orders but it is also our job to drive the ship. We are the ones who navigate this meal and keep it moving in a timely manner. If customers need a place to have a very sensitive conversation that is going to take all night to have, maybe a public restaurant isn’t the place to do it. Might I suggest a living room?
In the end, Nancy will live happily ever after as long as waitresses can read her mind and know exactly what is needed without having to bother with something so rude as communication.
Michael K.
Jeez, I read both her article and most of the comments attached. Was the Hofmeister lady the one dining with Ms. Nichols? She sure took it personally. I also think it was pretty big of Nancy to retract “monster”, but how is it she gets that part and not the rest? She is also not a very good writer, leading me to believe D magazine is not about Dallas, but about D.
That manager guy
Some people turn into over dramatic brats when the walk into a restaurant.
Almost like they expect to be treated like royalty.
Is pampered and pompous.
What they dont know is that waitstaff can pick you out of a crowd.
Some people expect a 5 star experience regardless of the venue.
We should absolutely strive to give that to them.
But most guests are pretty unrealistic.
That person that has been doing their best to refill your drinks and cater to your every whim, is a person who works in an industry with very distorted standards of service. The expectations are almost comical.
For example, why is the restaurant responsible for your cold food, which you called in to order 45 minutes ago. You were told the food would be ready in 15 minutes.
You are an adult, you know you are late. Your food is cold because of you. Pay for our product and find a microwave.
Naturally I am a much better manager than it sounds.
But this kind of common sense is almost nonexistent in the restaurant industry.
kron
I got fancy colored neon index cards and write out a few specials a day. I hand people these cards and tell them I can answer questions about the specials if they have any. That saves me so much time and hassle and I don’t ever have to repeat myself. I started this about 8 years ago and now everyone does it. It has caught on so much that the customers ask for the cards sometimes before they sit down!
Anonymous
I’m really glad she was a big enough person to apologize for the “monsters” comment and try to understand why we were so pissed about the article.
Cincy Drunk
If it’s a slow weekday night, and I’ve got some “chit chat and catch up!!!!1!!11” types, I just get them drinks (preferably alcoholic so I have an excuse to come back and get them another) and bread and tell them to wave me down when they’re ready. I’ll be nearby serving other tables or flirting with the cooks for free food.
If it’s busy and my section is full? Oh, you bet I’ll be there every 5-10 minutes. We are on a wait, bitch. There’s a million places you can sit and chat. I need to turn this table. You’ve given me a headache so that’s one more Washington Apple I have to drink after work.
MANGLER
I’ll have to say hi next time we’re passing through Ohio (based on your name). Heavy drinkers, not idlers, and we love messing with troublesome tables!
jenna
This happens way to often. Come back in a few minutes means just that COME BACK. If you don’t want a server at your table interrupting your convo, go to a coffee shop or a fast food place where you can sit all flipping day and no one will care.
Ive had tables tell me give us 10 minutes. So I gave them what I thought was close (I was busy). When I asked if they had decided, she replyed we have been ready!! Really? This is a loose loose on both sides. Either tables are upset they waited after asking to. Or servers are upset tables have been sitting for 20 minutes “catching up” while we have a section we need to turn to make $.
Mike hayes
Thanks BW. Just took a look at her article and comments. As expected, your readers are ripping her a new one today and to make it more fun, she is responding to all the mean comments. Ha. Should be in tears shortly. Another great column!
Barreleh
I’m guessing Nancy got her food spat into more than once.
shelby
What an entitled twat. I’d love to just sit at her desk in her office and ignore her and have her not get paid and then get mad at her for trying to do her job.
lostribe
I’m in Dallas, and I have been disgruntled for years about how bad in general the food critics here are. My pet peeve is we are land-locked. Seafood here is only for those who don’t care about freshness, and yet so many of the reviews for TexMex or Mexican places that mainly serve enchiladas, tacos, and the like, will pick the one token fish item on their menu to review. I have no idea why, but if you don’t like the local specialties, then don’t be the local reviewer.
D Magazine in particular caught my attention on their Best Barbecue issue a few years ago (after that I quit buying it). They listed a place 40 miles out of town as among the top ones and so I went out there, and it was perfectly mediocre kind of dry brisket. Another time they reviewed only the ribs at a place that has mediocre ribs but the most wonderful chopped beef and homemade fries anywhere around. My favorite and all my friends’ favorite BBQ place never gets in the Top 10. It’s not pretty or expensive. It’s just delicious meat.
I rarely ever see a decent review for what we eat most of here, TexMex. It seems like the focus is on trying to make an interesting colorful photo more than what tastes good. I will say, however, that the Houston Chronicle takes the cake for posting the most disgusting looking overpriced weird food than anyone else I follow. Again, lots of exotic seafood and just some unidentifiable piles of culinary school mistakes. The photos are rarely the least bit appetizing, though the photography itself is fine.
Dallas has well over 7000 restaurants now and very few good critics. I can only assume some writers are having to pull double-duty.
Teresa Speer
I don’t mind of a customer wants to occupy my table all day as long as they tip accordingly. Usually they don’t.
Reginald van der Slythe
I’m in that area as well; I’m kind of curious where your favorite place is. I tend to go to Baker’s when I want it cheap and quick, but good; and Lockhart’s for excellent brisket and the best sides I’ve had anywhere. I’ve been told there’s one in McKinney that is fantastic that I need to make a trip to at some point.
And to the article: your usual good stuff, BW. Keep it up, man.