A Very Bitchy Christmas Song About Kids

ho ho ho

ho ho ho

Ah, December is here! The air is crisp and holiday decorations are popping up everywhere. The bruises you got from Black Friday shopping have just about healed and your sick to death of turkey. It’s that time of year when carolers roam the streets screeching out tired-ass Christmas songs hoping for some damn figgy pudding and I sit in front of my computer screeching out tired-ass Christmas songs hoping for some more Facebook likes and YouTube views.

This year’s song is called “Children, the Snot-Nosed Assholes” and although, Rudolph may take offense, I hope none of you do. Sure, it’s not very holiday-like to call a child an asshole, but when I recorded this song, I had had a couple of glasses of egg nog and things happen. Please do enjoy this lovely version of “Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer,” and if you think I am an asshole for saying some of the things that you will hear in this song, please remember that I am the Bitchy Waiter. It’s what I do.

Happy Holidays!

You might also enjoy these bitchy holiday songs:

“It’s Christmas Eve. Get Out.”
“12 Days of Bitchy Christmas”
“My (Least) Favorite Things”


  1. Jenn
  2. Justin

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