Get ready, bitches, because I am riled up. An article about tipping is floating around on the Internet and it is implying that too many of us are guilting our customers into leaving tips. The article was written by consumer advocate Christopher Elliott and he has all kinds of handy-dandy ways you can avoid tipping. At first, I thought he was talking about the ubiquitous tip jars we see everywhere, from Starbucks to the deli to the dry cleaner. For those places, I feel like you can leave a tip if you want to, but it’s not necessary. After all, those employees are making an hourly wage that is higher than that of a server and, unless they are claiming those tips as income, it’s not the majority of their take home pay. But then he says this:
Restaurants are the worst offenders. A recent Pew Research study found 3.75 million people earning near-minimum wages in the food services industry. Many of them depend on gratuities and are not shy about telling customers about the arrangement.
Damn right we’re not shy about it. Some of us only make $2.13 an hour so that 15-20% tip that customers leave is what pays our rent, food and bills. So, yeah, if you get great service and don’t leave a tip, don’t be surprised if the waiter is going to question you about it. That’s what happened to Andrew Chapados and his girlfriend who had dinner on the Las Vegas strip and left no tip on the $50 bill. Andrew said the food was overpriced and the restaurant had a strict no-sharing policy so he opted to stiff the server. And then he was surprised when the server chased his cheap ass down the street to remind him what a tip is. First off, if two of you ate in Vegas for fifty bucks, that’s pretty affordable. Secondly, just because you thought it was expensive and they wouldn’t let you share an entree is no reason to stiff the sever. If the service was bad, sure. But the two things you complain about have nothing to do with how the waiter did his job.
But back to Christopher Elliott and his stupid fucking suggestions.
Be polite and firm, but don’t over explain. Remember…a tip should be optional. In other words, if you don’t want to leave a tip, don’t bother explaining why you aren’t doing it. Just walk away and let the server assume that you are a cheap mother fucker who has deep pockets and short arms.
Avoid a confrontation. Basically, what he is saying to do is to leave a couple of dollars in the check presenter and hightail it out of there before the server sees what a shitty tipper you are. If you can get out of there quick enough, you won’t run the risk that someone is going to chase you down and ask, “Excuse me, but was everything alright with the service?” If you choose to run away, don’t assume you’re in the “all clear” until you are at least two blocks away, because I once chased four bitches halfway down 49th Street to have a “confrontation.” And he also wants to make sure you total the credit card receipt so some shady ass server doesn’t try to add a tip. (I agree with that, I must say. There are a few stupid, greedy servers out there who think writing in their own tip is okay and it is 100% not okay.)
Use the system to your advantage. “Employees don’t always see your tip. Unless they can read upside down and they happen to look your way, chances are the employee will never know.” Umm, asshole, we WILL know as soon as we look at the receipt. We’re not stupid. What you are encouraging people to do is to be cowardice about the fact that they don’t want to leave a tip.
Here is my suggestion if you don’t want to leave a tip even if the service is good: As soon as you sit down, grow a pair of balls and tell the server that you do not plan on tipping. Let’s just get it all out into the open. That way, the server can focus his attention on the other tables who understand that it’s part of our social contract to leave a tip when dining out in a restaurant. You can then expect the barebones service that should come from someone who is only making $2.13 an hour. If you let your server believe he will be tipped for doing his job and then you sneakity-sneak out of there without tipping, you’re as dishonest as the server you are so worried about who will scribble in their own tip on a credit card receipt. Be honest with yourself: anyone who thinks Christopher Elliott’s ideas are good ones is a cheap ass and no one who works in a restaurant wants to serve them.
Here is his Facebook page. You can find the article and leave a comment.
Here is the article.
And here is his Twitter.
If you like my bitching, you should totally go buy my book. Click here.
Meatball Mike
I recently had douche nozzles who were armed with a 20.00 Birthday coupon. The coupon entitles them to one menu item valued up to 20.00. Clearly marked on the coupon the disclaimer say’s, can’t be combined with any other offers. Of course they were at Ventura’s for half price appetizers Sunday. After ordering Veal for 20 dollars they then ordered 2 apps normally priced at 30.00 for 15.00. When I presented them the check, I think the woman shit herself, and her husband Douche Von Whiney Nuts lost a testicle. I then continued to refuse to split the check, had the GM explain their imbecility to no avail and then was promptly stiffed. Please get me a job Dicks Last Resort
David
Eat at a toilet, because you are a peice of shit.
David
This Elliot character, that is… not you, oh Bitchy One!
Stacia
Avoid a confrontation. Restaurants and other establishments generally push you to offer a tip privately by discreetly slipping a few bills into your check holder. Saying “no” is easy — just leave the tip field on your credit card slip blank or decline to leave extra cash. If you’re tipping on a card, don’t forget to fill in the total.
aslo he extends the tip to move fast because if you get 2 blocks away your in the clear.
he is a major douche
Stacia
I read article listed and it says several times that restaurants are the worst offenders…. he says to not tip and remember put the total down! so Bitchy is right.
Hercule
This is funny to me because I am a regular reader of both Chris Elliott’s blog and this one. Bitchy is totally wrong here. Chris Elliott’s article was entirely about situations where tipping is not normal, like the grocery store cashier, the ticket agent, or the tow truck driver, not waiters, hotel maids, or other service employees who should be paid a living wage (and I would argue should still receive tips). I know Bitchy doesn’t enjoy apologizing, but this is one flame war where the only way he is the fireman is if it’s Farenheit 451.
Alison
Bitchy, what the heck are you talking about, man? I actually read the article that you’re linking to and I can’t find even find one of the two “quotes” you’ve included in this post. Unless he changed the content of the article between when I just read and and when you made this post, I’m really surprised to see that it seems like you’re making stuff up and putting words in this guy’s mouth to get hits on your blog. For example this quote: “Employees don’t always see your tip. Unless they can read upside down and they happen to look your way, chances are the employee will never know” never appears in the article you’ve linked to. Elliott actually even says this: “Service employees with below-minimum-wage jobs really need the gratuities to make ends meet.” I read the article as being for and about people who are kind of cheap, and sure people could use his tips to justify their non-tipping behavior, but it sure as hell didn’t read as a covert guide to fucking servers over, which is how you’ve framed it here.
Alison
I just saw the quote from the blog post in the video included here, so my bad on that, I apologize. I still maintain that there isn’t nearly the focus on food service that is implied here, and it feels like your points have been cherry-picked out of context. This guy has a clear vendetta against people being “guilted” into tipping, yet overwhelmingly focuses on people who aren’t traditionally tipped employees, like AAA tow drivers, Delta ticket agents, carryout employees, etc. He even goes so far as to call out business owners for being the root of the problem when they won’t pay living wages, which is something we can all agree on.
Alison
Readers, PLEASE actually look at the articles posted on his FB page before you comment. Dozens and dozens of commenters, presumably coming from this blog, have posted all kinds of comments about serving wage, etc, on an article on his FB page about tipping that says exactly NOTHING about food servers. It is not the article that Bitchy is referring to, and all of the commenters presumably coming from this site look like total morons going off on this guy about “don’t come sit in my section! eat at home!” when the article they’re commenting on is just talking about how Delta ticket agents and AAA tow drivers are out of line in asking for tips (which I, and apparently Bitchy, agree with). Get it together guys, you’re making us all look ignorant because you won’t even open the link and scan the article before putting the guy on blast.
The article Bitchy is referring to is available at the link, but it isn’t the one dated April 28 posted on his FB page (http://elliott.org/thats-ridiculous-2/tipping-out-of-control/) , which has literally nothing in common with anything Bitchy talked about in this post and in fact it says that people shouldn’t be salty with the people asking for tips, “No, save your wrath for the business owners who declare that in order to remain competitive, they require a waiver from the government to pay below-minimum wage.”
Ana
I meant, scrolled down ^
Ana
My goodness! I scroll down his FB page looking for the article to leave a comment… I gave up, I couldn’t find it. I left a comment on the article page though.
Alison
I looked for it, too, it looks like he might not have it posted there. There is another article about tipping and people (presumably readers from this blog) are going apeshit on him about stiffing servers, but that article says literally nothing about food servers, it isn’t the one Bitchy is talking about, so we’re all being made to look like idiots with zero reading comprehension skills…
Riane
Ok, so it this maggot infested cum dumpster can go take a long walk off a short bridge. No one sees, unless they’ve walked in our shoes (which we pray to our tip God for), that we handle so many stresses to make sure they are coddled and made to feel like they’re special. Oh, it’s your 65th wedding anniversary? Let me see if my chef can make you something to celebrate. You’re fuck trophy is turning 7 today? Let me get them a rocky road cupcake. You think your chair is right under the AC? Please, by all means move to another table not in the rotation and screw my servers up. Not to say I don’t genuinely love some of the tables I get. Hell, it’s the only thing that’s kept me in my profession (yes I said profession) for as long as it has. But sergeant douche lords like this guy just don’t get to see how we have to deal with the behind the scene things. Hot tea…let me find all the components in my WW3 disaster of a station after a 6 hour rush. The mashed potatoes had skins pieces in them….let me go chase down and then get yelled at by my chef (who claims the he knows good food and you know nothing). Unless it’s bad service, don’t blame your damn server! How hard is that? We are human. We have bills, medical bills, bladders…..give us a break. Our job is literally just to try and make you happy. Don’t be a cheap ass because this cumtwat makes you think it’s ok. Most of us are people pleasers by nature and love it. Just show your apprecition a little.
Sharon
Soooo, he’s a consumer advocate? And, he is paid for helping people with their money and help people to have a better lifestyle with the money they have?
Does the fool not realize that servers are “consumers”, too????? At least we would like to be. But, to be a consumer, you have to at least make enough money to buy things and contribute to the economy. Cutting an entire group out of the wage pool is not going to help anyone.
The most rude thing in his whole rant was “…chances are the employee will never know.” I HATE THAT!!!!!! It tells me everything I need to know about that man. Whether you are a horrible person secretly or out in the open you are still a horrible person. In fact, if you pretend to be a nice person and do horrible things when you THINK no one is looking your are worse than horrible.
Scott
I have been trying to contact USA Today for printing such a despicable article. It has been difficult to say the least. His glib and smarmy tone is what is the most troubling.
Lisa Jacobs
My comment to this asswipe on his page >>>I’m sure when you are travelling you give your hooker du jour an little something extra when she let’s you cum in her mouth or in her ass. She went above and beyond to service you and give you a pleasant experience so why would you not tip a server who worked extra hard to make your dining experience a pleasant one?<<<
Stephanie
Don’t assume he’s straight, either 😉
Noelle
You win the everything. Best. Comment. Ever!
Noelle
You win EVERYTHING. Best. Comment. EVER!!!
Jeri Velgreen
Douche, table for one.
miss kitty
So I went and looked at his facebook page, and sure enough, that is the only article with more than 10 comments (about 91 when I was there). You are now an online commander, with an army of disgruntled, underpaid servers at your beck and call.
Alison
Sadly, that isn’t even the article Bitchy is talking about. That article says NOTHING about food service and is just about how AAA tow drivers and Delta Ticketing agents should stop guilting people into tipping, so Bitchy’s army looks like a crew of ignorant blowhards with zero reading comprehension skills commenting all kinds of hate on an article that has pretty much nothing to do with this post except that it contains the word “tipping”.
Erik
Um, auto play!? Really!!??
Caitlin
I’m a manager at a restaurant, It is our policy to never confront a guest about tips, but a few days ago I made the acception for a few guests…my server stayed an extra 3 hours to take care of a couple guests, at the end of it they got their check and said, “whoa these drinks are expensive, your tip will reflect that.” And they left her nothing on almost 120$…..So, I went up to them, all extra cheery and shit as if I was going to apologize about the prices and hook em up with some shit….”Oh hey guys how are we doing? I’m sorry the drink prices where so high that you had to take it out on the server who has no control over that, that was pretty shitty wasn’t it? . Totally confused looking then bam “please don’t ever come back we don’t want you here, you may leave now”.
Nicole
On behalf of servers everywhere, THANK YOU!
Jen
You are my hero! Can you please be my manager?
Avee82
I hope the fleas of a thousand camels infest his twig n’ berries.
Christy
And may his arms be to short to scratch.
Tim
“Grow a pair of balls and tell the server that you don’t plan on tipping.”
Yep. That quote is going on his bookface page.
Thank you, Bitchy.
Cristin Crockett
I have expressed my extreme displeasure on several media platforms. I suggest others do the same. His Twitter is a great start!