Author: The Bitchy Waiter

I wait tables and bitch about it on my blog, The Bitchy Waiter.

Diary of a Drunk 7-Year Old

Dear Diary, Today was the bestest day ever! Mommy and Daddy took me and my sisters to a restaurant called Bazil. They said we were going to have something called …

10 Rules for Dining on the Patio

The first day of spring was a few weeks ago which means one thing for restaurant workers: it’s patio season! It’s that time of year when dining al fresco is …

Rest in Peace, Jean Stapleton

We lost a cultural icon this weekend when Jean Stapleton died in her New York City home at the age of 90. How does this have anything to do with …

Does Anyone Still Wear a Hat?

“Excuse me, young man,” asks an elderly gentleman. “But do you have a hat check?” “I’m sorry, what?” I say. “A hat check. Is there a girl I can leave …

Happy Bitchday

On this day many decades ago, a very pregnant woman went into a restaurant. Although her delivery date was only days away, the the temptation for one last meal out …

Is Good Head

I always arrive to work knowing there is a shift meal waiting for me. Most of the time, I eat before I get there in case the meal is something …

Please Don’t Beg to Your Waiter

At the club I work, there is a two-drink minimum. That’s just how it is at certain music venues in New York City and ours is no different. We tell …