Times being what they are, my restaurant is currently running with a skeleton crew. Like seriously, a crew of fossils and cartilage. On any any given night, there are only two staff members running the whole show; my boss who is the owner/chef and one other person each shift who is the server, bartender, busser, food runner, to-go person, host and telephone operator. My boss also washes all the dishes. Skeleton crew, indeed.
Two nights ago, we were slammed. With the phone ringing off the hook for pick-up orders and the iPad dinging every three minutes to alert us of another Grubhub. I barely had time to take care of the people who scoffed at the idea of COVID and ventured to eat indoors. My boss is standing in front of the grill that has no fewer than than ten burgers on it while simultaneously pan-searing chicken breasts, frying fries, making desserts and sautéing vegetables. I am bagging up to-go orders while trying to take orders and make two Manhattans at the very same time.
The phone rings again.
“No more to-go orders!” my boss yells across the open kitchen. “We can’t do it right now.” For someone who very rarely expresses emotion, the teensiest tinge of panic in his voice is slightly surprising.
I pick up the phone. “Hi there, can I help you?”
“I’d like to place an order to pick-up,” the woman on the other end of the line says to me.
“Unfortunately, we are just too busy right now to take anymore. Can I ask you to call back in twenty minutes, please?”
With a disgruntled sigh she agrees, so I hang up the phone and hop right back into the weeds.
Like clockwork, twenty minutes later the cordless phone in my apron rings again. I am standing at Table 15 taking an order and my boss immediately looks at me and shakes his head, so I send the call to voicemail. “She’ll call back,” I think.
And she does. Every thirty seconds for the next three minutes. But I am always too busy to answer it, feeling like I should give the bulk of my attention to the customers who are there in the flesh rather than someone on the phone who probably isn’t going to tip me anyway, so I let the phone ring in my apron one or two more times before silencing it. And then the phone just stops ringing at all. For the rest of the night, it’s as silent as a walk-in cooler when the fans are turned off.
At the end if the night when I’m leaving, I warn my boss he will probably have at least one or two messages on the answering machine. Thirty minutes later he texts me:
“You didn’t hang up the phone for 2.5 hours, so no messages.”
I must have accidentally left the phone on in my apron so anyone who called was getting a busy signal for over two hours. I felt awful.
The next day at work, I look at the caller ID and decide to call the woman back to apologize. I figure if I’m gonna be a bitch online, I can at least be kind in real life. Also, we can’t afford to lose a regular customer these days. I take a deep breath and dial the number which sends me to an answering machine.
“Hi, it’s Darron from the restaurant, I begin. “I am so sorry about last night and I want to explain what happened…”
As I tell the story, the woman picks up the phone and I instantly recognize the same disgruntled voice from the night before.
“Hello,” she grunts. “I’m here.”
“Oh my god, I am so sorry. I didn’t mean for that to happen-“
She interrupts me. “Yeah, I was really annoyed.”
“I understand that and I apologize. When you first called I did expect that in twenty minutes we would be able to take your order, but you happened to call back when I was taking an order at another table and-“
She interrupts me again. “Is Tim still the only one doing all the cooking?” she wants to know.
“He is”, I explain. “And I’m the only other one here. Last night was a perfect storm of business when you called and then I inadvertently left the phone on which is why you were probably getting a busy signal or going to voice mail for the rest of the night. Again, I am so sorry.”
“Well, in my opinion, he just needs to hire someone else to help him cook.”
Wait, did she just say that? In the middle of a fucking pandemic when my boss is struggling to keep his restaurant open and I am risking my life to go there so I can continuously be stiffed on to-go orders and bag up food for Grubhub, she thinks my boss should just come up with another $500 a week to hire someone else? “Inhale and exhale, Darron,” I think to myself.
“Well, in a perfect world, that’s what he would do, but we aren’t living in a perfect world right now so this is what it is. I just wanted to reach out to apologize for your inconvenience last night. I’m so sorry.”
One more disgruntled sigh and then, “Well, I appreciate the effort of the phone call. Good bye.”
I try to prove to the universe I’m not always a bitch and someone out bitches me. Fucking 2020.
anne marie
I’ve heard nasty tales about grubhub and doordash. my local mom-n-pop restaurants use their own staff for deliveries; they refuse to use G & D. we always tip generously.
Patrick Connor
We don’t dine out; neither do we order takeout. However we do order groceries online and sanitize all packaging with a UVC wand (we purchased four such wands from a home shopping television channel, along with instant read thermometers and those oxygenation doohickies that you snap onto your finger). No one is allowed into our apartment and we go absolutely nowhere but to the occasional doctor’s appointment., always by a car service. We are too frightened to do otherwise. We are one of the major reasons the dining industry is dying. For that I apologize. Please keep blogging. You are fascinating. THANK YOU!
Dana Nelson
I too am a Tim. I appreciate my staff is very loyal to me and considerate of our customers – much like you. Hopefully it is almost over!
Sara
There have been times even in my large corporate restaurant that we’ve had to pause DoorDash and UberEats orders because the kitchen and the ToGo staff was just too busy. We’ve all been there, we’ve all dealt with some crazy sh*t in 2020. Entitled guests, someone pissed off that they didn’t get 10 sides of ranch for free, or that their fried item they picked up over an hour ago but are just now getting around to eating it is soggy ?. We do our best, we smile through the mask, then we go in the walk in and cry for a few minutes… thank you sir for keeping us entertained through the shit show we’re currently living in!
Heather Johnson
I feel your pain and frustration. I was a hostess and cashier at a well known truck stop. My job duties included explaining social distancing, enforcing mask mandates, and listening to truckers well-informed points of view on communism, socialism, and patriotism. AND doing all that with a bright shiny smile and my best Customer service voice. It gets old so fast.
SO God Bless You for doing what you can do keep true to yourself. People have just become more hateful this year. Stay Bitchy and Stay True.
I really enjoy your posts. Have a great day!
Jeremy
This, shows your character. It is why you are what you are and why people in the service industry do what they do. I was a server for 20 years and haven’t worked since March. I miss it and hope to return.
Porkchop
I doubt I’d waste my time giving business advice for free. But I would wonder if there is so much volume, that is obviously far beyond 2 people, why you wouldn’t hire more help? It sounds like revenues justify it… unless the pricing strategy is for all profits to come from adult beverages from dine in customers?
Jay
GrubHub takes a huge percentage off the top. And overhead doesn’t change regardless of how busy the shop is. They might have too much work for two people, but a third person could be the difference between being able to make rent or not.
I’m losing $400 a day keeping my shop open, some folks don’t have the luxury of being able to do that for months on end.
ryan
because w covid its not coming in steadily. paying someone for the 4 hours of idle time will sink a restaurant. shit gets really busy because people roll in over the same 3 hour period crush a place w to gos and dine in then bounce
Amber
It sounds to me like that was one uncharacteristically busy night, amongst many slower ones. Exception not rule kind of thing, which happens to all of us even when fully staffed. I’m sure if that volume was the norm, they would have more staff on each shift.
Nicole M
Big hugs Darron, and thank you for being you.
Geoff
“I must have accidentally left the phone on in my apron so anyone who called was getting a busy signal for over two hours. I felt awful.”
I’m dyin’ here. ?
Sharon Beach
You are doing the absolute best during these unfortunate circumstances. It was very kind to return the phone call and make an explanation. People have been so nasty as of recently. Chin up. We are literally all in this together!