Hold me back, because someone started a Facebook page called “Consumers Against Tipping” and I am really in the mood to shred some bitches up. First off, their page has a whopping 23 people who like it. My page has 575,748 people which is about 25,000 times more people, so basically, I win. While everyone has a right to their own opinion, the page seems less about the idea of tipping people and more about putting down servers. Servers aren’t the only people in this world who receive tips. Hair stylists, cab drivers, hotel workers, my building superintendent and delivery people also receive tips, but I don’t see one fucking meme about any of those occupations. Just servers. And you when someone insults servers, I take it very, very personally.
While I commend the owners of Consumers Against Tipping on their keen intelligence to navigate the rocky road of creating a Facebook page, if all you are going to do on it is bash me and my people, I’m gonna come after you.
No, you don’t have to tip. It is not required by law to leave your server any money. However, in this country, when you go out to eat in a restaurant where someone is serving you, there is a social contract and obligation that implies you will be providing some sort of financial compensation for the person who was providing you the service. If you don’t want to tip, then you you can be counted amongst the small group of people who choose to be assholes. And if you start a Facebook page about it, then you enjoy the privilege of being in an even more select group of people who, not only don’t tip, but like to brag about it. That makes you a very rare breed of asshole.
Your little memes are adorable, but really? To assume that the only reason people are servers is because they have no education or drank too much in high school is is a big pile of steaming shit, which, coincidentally, is what I would like to serve you if ever come into my restaurant. Your page is new and will no doubt fade away in a matter of weeks. It takes a lot of work to run a successful Facebook page and the number one requirement for a page to take off is for the subject matter to be something people can agree on. Good luck with that. Although there are people in this country who don’t think they should tip their servers, the majority of people think they should. Thankfully, you and your 23 followers are in the minority. I don’t expect you to change your mind. After all, when one’s brain is the size of a pea, what are they going to change it to, a scuppernong seed? I simply wanted to reach out to you and let you know that I think your page is a fucking joke. And I’m pretty sure plenty of other people do too.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to take my college educated ass to work and help people have wonderful dining experiences so they don’t have to cook their own food or clean up after themselves. That’s what eating in a restaurant is and I know that when I go out to eat, I am happy to tip my server in appreciation for taking care of those things for me. And fellow servers? Please go to their page and tell them they can go fuck themselves. Make sure you tell them Bitchy Waiter sent you.
Oh, and I’m pretty sure that anyone who hates that Facebook page will love my book and you can click here to buy it. It’s called The Bitchy Waiter, because, well, I am one.