College Student Too Broke To Tip

14694752_10207527737140248_2025290532_nDear Poor, Broke College Student,

I know that tuition is expensive and so are books. I know that it can be hard to scrape together enough money to be able to afford a semester in college and still have enough money for other necessary things like rent, groceries, your phone bill and all that beer that you drink. I feel for you, I really do. But of you go out to eat at a restaurant, you need to make sure you have enough money to be able to pay your bill and tip your freaking waitress. Deducting $5.00 from your check and writing “sorry college” does not excuse you from the basic requirements of dining out.

Next time you register for classes, maybe you should skip signing up for a botany class because you think it will be an easy science credit. Don’t bother taking a theater class to fill your arts requirements. Delve deep into that course catalog and find this class:

Economics: Introductory Course

ECO 10000

Basic restaurant concepts and thought; issues and policy. How to treat your server, how to tip and how to be a decent fucking human being. Recommended as a first course for students with no prior courses in economics and have no idea what it’s like to wait tables.
Not open to students who have taken or are currently enrolled in ECO 20000 or 20100 or their equivalents. Also not open to students who have waited tables before, because they probably already fucking get that you tip your goddamn server, asshole.
3 hrs3 cr.

Did you stop to think that maybe your waitress was also in college and planned on using the tip that she deserved to pay for the same things that you need your money for? And if she wasn’t in college, maybe she was planning to use that money to, you know, pay for life. No one wants to go to work for free. If the service was bad, then absolutely, your server does not deserve a 20% tip. But just because your broke ass already blew through this month’s allowance from Mommy and Daddy is no reason that the server should have to suffer. And deducting part of the bill is equivalent to stealing. I think if the police were called, it would be considered “theft of services” and you would have found that five extra dollars right quick.

People, if you can’t afford to tip, then you can’t afford to eat out. The bill was almost $80. That does not imply that you are struggling to get by by with Top Ramen and Pop-Tarts. That tells us that you went to a restaurant with $75 in your wallet and spent every last cent of it. The next time you want to go out to eat, skip the fucking appetizer or second cocktail and give that money to the person who is doing their job to make your dining experience a good one.

Mustard and Mayo,
The Bitchy Waiter

p.s. I hope you actually see this blog post so you will know how many people think you’re a cheap asshole.

p.p.s. BUY MY BOOK.

39 thoughts on “College Student Too Broke To Tip

  1. Leslie Noorani

    The journal publishes theorems on options to (partial) differential, integral, algebraic
    and stochastic equations, such as their nicely-posedness, their related properties, and their
    (numerical) approximation .

    The sides are all equal in length and the faces are sq.-formed.

  2. Victoria Norton

    Your ass shouldn’t have gotten anything for complaining and being a bitch. Get a better job if your life relies on tips. Work at McDonald’s. This is why I don’t tip at all. I’m not paying you to work, your job is. If you don’t like it work somewhere else. Your lucky to get something, greedy bitch.

  3. Mike

    I gotta say, and I have waited on more tables than anyone here (even you BW), I disagree with the “if you can’t afford to tip, don’t go out to eat” argument. Most people tip well, some are stiffs. If you get more than 20%, do you give it back? Didn’t think so… That’s the way it is. It’s kinda funny to joke about stiffs in the side station, and we all do that, but to get upset? That just screams “rookie!” get on with it.. Still love your site and bought your book… Always funny

  4. Julia

    It’s possible that they simply just did the math incorrectly. Maybe they meant to add a $5 tip and instead of writing $84, the idiot wrote $74. I don’t see a minus anywhere on the tip line. But it is also quite possible that they were trying to deduct $5 from the bill which would be shitty, but if I were the server I would just assume it was a $5 tip and enter it as that. Either way, $5 is still a shitty tip for a $80 check, and they should have received $16 as a tip instead of the measly $5 that they might not even get after tip out.

  5. cDc

    If you’re quick to notice the college student is apologizing for only leaving $5 and did not carry the 1. They are Not subtracting it.

    $79.76 + $5 = $84.76

    Also $79.76 – $5 = $75.76

    Have some common sense, yo.

  6. Alan

    I have a feeling that this person will end up waiting tables at some point. Going into massive debt for a gender studies degree or whatever…someone’s in for a rude awakening when it comes time to pound that pavement looking for that dream job…

  7. Stef

    I don’t always agree with every blog/post and usually don’t bother to respond but I have to say this one irks me a little bit.

    1) clearly he needs schooling as he couldn’t figure out how to add the measly tip properly. My guess is deep down somewhere he was feeling a tad guilty for stiffing the server and wasn’t thinking clearly but if not, then he needs the education of basic math skills desperately.
    2) I would have posted his name. That would have been fun!
    3) if you, (the poor college student) could afford an $80 bill to enjoy yourself, you should have accounted for your servers time. I hope when you graduate, your boss does not pay you for work completed. Then you’ll know what it’s like to work for free.

  8. Joe

    I’m sick of hearing this argument and I WORK in the food industry. You know nothing about the order, so why should an automatic percentage be mandatory? A large bill doesn’t mean increased energy expenditure on your part, not always. If I go to a nice place and order an app, two entrees, and a dessert, have you worked harder than the person who served the same items at a less fancy place? Why should they only get a $5.00 tip just because the meal was $25 dollars while you should get $14.00 because at your place the meal was $70? Do you tip your delivery driver a flat rate for pizza or a percentage? My guess is a flat rate and it’s probably around 5-10 max. My point is, stop shaking people who leave small tips and do it apologetically. If you want to shame someone, shame the people who leave no tip and don’t give a shit. The only entitled person I see here is your Bitchy ass.

    1. Erin

      You try living in the DC metro area on 5-10%. And you work in the industry? As what? Obviously not as a server. So how about you go back to the home from which you came, and stop making us put up with your ignorance.

      1. Joe

        Yes, as a server. I make quite a lot in tips because I’m good at what I do. However, I do run in to people who don’t tip the percentage that is customary. My point was NOT that you shouldn’t tip a certain percentage, my point was that it’s low to point out a person who apologetically tips less than a person who UNapologetically does the same. For all you know they were taking a friend out for their birthday and could hardly afford to do that, panicked when their friend ordered more than they expected, and had to make it up in tipping what they could. The fact is, you don’t know, unless you were the one who took the picture. People who don’t tip at all, I’ve got no time for. People who obviously COULD tip more but don’t because they’re cheap, irritate me, but people who want to treat themselves but don’t have the extra cash to tip the standard amount and actually apologize for it? Well, it’s unfortunate, but why not give them a bit of a break, they could have tipped zero with the same excuse.

    2. Eat a Dick, Joe

      Then go to cheap diners you dumb fuck. Bigger prices = bigger tip THAT’S HOW IT WORKS.

      Makes sense you’re a retard, your name is Joe haha

      1. Joe

        My point was, as you clearly didn’t read until the end, was that people tip shitty or not at all…why publicly shame someone who was actually embarassed about the size of the tip? Had the written nothing, you would have just assumed they were an asshole and moved on, but because they wrote that, that makes them somehow WORSE of a person than those that don’t tip at all? Do you use your brain at all? It’s that lump of shit 3 feet above your ass.

    3. Laura

      You tip out more on $70 than you do on $25 and I don’t care what you get, the higher the price the higher the standards of service so you deserve more on a $70 check than a $25 check. Eat a bag of dicks asshole.

    4. Spit in Joe's food

      I tip my pizza delivery person by percentage. Always. 20% for timely service, regardless of how stupidly expensive delivery for just one pizza is. It’s not their fault. If I don’t have enough money to tip the delivery person 20% I’ll either pick my lazy ass up and get carry out or I won’t get a pizza, period. That’s what you need to do too.
      Actually, servers do usually expend more effort the more expensive a restaurant is. Chances are they have the fancy uniform they had to buy themselves (women’s black dress shirts are hard to find and they’re not cheap) and usually at more expensive restaurants there are more fine dining elements. Just tip 20%. Do it. There’s no excuse not to. Don’t be a cheap piece of shit.

    5. miss kitty

      Why does one tip more when the bill is higher? Because the expenses of the worker are higher. I work at a diner where our uniform is a tee shirt with the business’ logo on it and black pants. I can get $10 pants at Sears outlet, and as long as they’re black I’m fine. When I worked at a fine dining restaurant we had to have a very specific style of black pants (which I could never find for less than $50) and a very specific style of white blouse (again, expensive and has to be replaced often as I have yet to find a stain remover that works as well as the commercials say). Fortunately my guests in fine dining always paid their part of the social contract because they weren’t hicks.

      1. TinyOne

        Take a half gallon of white vinegar an put it in a large pot that has a lid. Zest and the squuze the juice from 3 oranges and 3 lemons. Let sit overnight. Strain through cheesecloth and put back into vinegar bottle.
        When you get home rub some of this into the stain so it’s good and set. Next sprinkle with baking powder and let it sit for 10 minutes.
        Wash in cold water…only ever cold water….
        Also meat tenderizer works well for blood based stains.

    6. Mark W

      You’re on the wrong page, asshole. You WORK in the first industry, my fat hairy ass. Doing what? Managing underpaid workers on a Swanson’s assembly line? Barking orders at the fry cook at Burger King? Get the fuck out of here.

    7. Erika

      Yeah, this is in San Francisco. People need to get PAID. The higher cost of living here is reflected in menu prices, and should be reflected in tips, too. Waitstaff, too, have rent to pay and as Bitchy pointed out, possibly tuition of their own.

    8. DJ

      I tip completely based off percentage, whether it’s at a restaurant or a pizza delivery driver. It’s the courteous thing to do. I’ve worked as a delivery driver before.

  9. Bitchy Customer

    Stupid posts like this only encourage me to add something like “because you’re a bitch” and not leave a cent. The waitstaff are the “Entitled Ones”.

        1. Jeff

          I think it’s very evident nobody commenting actually works in this industry. The guy added wrong because he’s an idiot but he didn’t tip a negative, hence the lack of any sign indicating it’s supposed to be negative. He tipped like shit and acknowledged it, which sucks, but you can’t just make a restaurant pay $5 of your bill unless your server’s a pushover and agrees to pay it, I encourage you to try it next time you go out to eat. Especially when dealing with pre-authorized credit card payments like this one that get closed off much after the customer’s come and gone.

  10. SinCityKitty

    Actually I think the dumbass added wrong and didn’t intend to subtract from the bill. Makes more sense. I would say take your ass back to school. They’re already doing that I guess with those math skills.

    1. Ebbykb

      Because, quite commonly people are bad with adding the totals. If the restaurant wanted to be super particular about it, they might have the server closing it out for just the correct total and then she goes from 5 dollar tip to no tip just because the restaurant doesn’t want the charge to bounce back on them. Same thing if some asshat leaves with the signed copy of the receipt, I’ve potentially lost HUNDREDS of dollars cause I had to close it for the total before tip; that being if there was one at all.


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