This Is Why You Shouldn’t Let Your Kids Be Barefoot in a Restaurant

A woman in Moscow, Idaho learned this week what exactly can happen when one lets a toddler run around barefoot in a restaurant. Mary Jo Foney took her 3-year-old Joanie to lunch at popular area restaurant, Doug’s Donuts Diner. “We wanted to go to the Applebee’s over on Warbonnet Drive, but I couldn’t find a parking spot close to the front door so we gave up and went to Doug’s,” says Foney. Once inside, Joanie quickly removed her shoes and began wandering around the restaurant completely unsupervised. What followed was a true tragedy.

Long time server, Honey B. Adger, knew it was not a good idea. “The moment I saw that little girl throw her shoes off, I knew it was going to be a problem. Them floors are a mess.”

Within two minutes, Joanie got a splinter on her heel from the well-worn hardwood floors. The tyke began crying and went to seek comfort from her mother. As she walked back to the table, her other foot grazed a piece of broken glass that had been there for two days when a bus boy dropped a tray of water glasses. “I saw it there yesterday, but didn’t get around to picking it up,” confirmed Adger. Now, with both of her feet hurt, Joanie’s wailing became louder and she began to run toward her mother. This is when she stubbed her toe on the high chair she had refused to sit in only minutes before. Coincidentally, this is the exact moment that a child at Booth 10 dropped an entire box of Legos onto the floor which Joanie promptly stepped on. As she fell to the ground, a 9″ rusty nail made it’s way into the arch of her left foot.

“I knew that was there too, but Honey B. Adger don’t care.”

By this point, the youngster’s feet are in severe pain. Suddenly, and without warning, someone across the restaurant yelled out, “the floor is lava!” and began counting down. Five seconds later, for reasons unknown, the floor did in fact turn into hot molten lava. The splinter, glass, stubbed toe, Lego injury, and rusty nail were no longer of consequence as the skin on the soles of her feet began to bubble and burn. Unfortunately at this time, a line cook accidentally spilled a box of salt, most of it landing directly in the wounds.

As the manager of the restaurant tried to assist the child, Mary Jo Foney was seen logging onto Yelp to leave a 1-star review. She also requested that her meal be wrapped up to go and that it be comped for her trouble.

Paramedics were called to the scene and the child was air-lifted to St. Luke’s Regional Medical Center in Boise where she is suffering from third-degree burns, gangrene, tetanus, scurvy, encephalitis, tendonitis, appendicitis, conjunctivitis and an unexplained rash on her neck that may or may not be poison ivy. Says chief of staff Dr. N.B. Carres, “If her mother made her wear her damn shoes in the restaurant, we wouldn’t even be here talking about this right now.”

The little girl is expected to make a full recovery.

A Go Fund Me account has been set up to help with medical expenses. Click here for more information.

I wait tables and bitch about it on my blog, The Bitchy Waiter.

7 thoughts on “This Is Why You Shouldn’t Let Your Kids Be Barefoot in a Restaurant

  1. My daughter who works in the resturant industry introduced me to your blog. Which is oddly ironic because she doesn’t even like people. This post was hilarious. I have also worked in the resturant industry only as a hostess having observered the total moronic individials that come into a resturant where like on the internant think they and their children can act any damn way they please. Don’t they know what happens if you piss off the people who are serving you? When I took my child then later on children to a resturant which was rare if they acted up I would scoop them up and get the hell out of there. Very amusing post, I have you on my favorite blog list on my blog.

  2. Hmmmm. Can’t get none off that going barefoot. Dumb. Rabies? Lol. Lack of vitamin c is scurvy. Tetanus really. Where’d y’all go to school.

  3. Well, thank doG there weren’t a bunch of filthy, skanky, dropped-by-patrons lemon wedges all over the floor, she’d have really been suffering then!

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