10 Lies Every Server Has Told

If you have waited tables for even just six months, I bet you have used at least five of these lies:

  1. I’m sorry that your food is taking so long, but the printer in the kitchen was out of ink.giphy
  2. Our blender is broken so I can’t order you a frozen margarita.oZbED_f-maxage-0
  3. Yes, I will go change the thermostat right away, absolutely.Liar_-_The_Governor
  4. We don’t have any control of the music that plays.giphy
  5. Oh, I thought I already told you the specials.raw
  6. We just ran out of ice cream so I can’t get that milkshake for you.tyx4egazPswBq
  7. Our cappuccino machine is on the fritz.tumblr_myva1cImZF1s2rvj5o1_1280
  8. I’ll make sure the cook knows that the last time you were here your burger was overcooked.6ecd2ce0-aef1-0132-466f-0e9062a7590a
  9. It’s okay that your baby made a mess.498529
  10. My pleasure.giphy

You can click here to buy my book, The Bitchy Waiter.


  1. Jen
  2. Luke Duker
      • MANGLER is a Homophobe
  3. Serenity
  4. Shanon
  5. David Cowling

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