10 Lies Every Server Has Told

If you have waited tables for even just six months, I bet you have used at least five of these lies:

  1. I’m sorry that your food is taking so long, but the printer in the kitchen was out of ink.giphy
  2. Our blender is broken so I can’t order you a frozen margarita.oZbED_f-maxage-0
  3. Yes, I will go change the thermostat right away, absolutely.Liar_-_The_Governor
  4. We don’t have any control of the music that plays.giphy
  5. Oh, I thought I already told you the specials.raw
  6. We just ran out of ice cream so I can’t get that milkshake for you.tyx4egazPswBq
  7. Our cappuccino machine is on the fritz.tumblr_myva1cImZF1s2rvj5o1_1280
  8. I’ll make sure the cook knows that the last time you were here your burger was overcooked.6ecd2ce0-aef1-0132-466f-0e9062a7590a
  9. It’s okay that your baby made a mess.498529
  10. My pleasure.giphy

You can click here to buy my book, The Bitchy Waiter.

11 thoughts on “10 Lies Every Server Has Told

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  5. Jen

    I actually worked for a restaurant once that would run out of core items like ice cream, eggs, french fries, etc. on a regular basis. Knowing this it is not surprising that the thermostat was locked up and the District manager had the only keys, the shake machine really did break frequently, we were warned if we touched the music we would be fired, and we never ever had specials.

    I left as soon as I could, I absolutely could not work under those conditions. Especially considering most of the customers thought we were lying when we would let them know what we were out of.

    Reply
  6. Luke Duker

    There are just as many bad servers as there are customers, this website proves it. Why are so many people full of such hate? Interesting how people love to brag about lying to customers. Everything mentioned is about looking down on customers like they are horrible people for asking for something that’s usually on the menu. Glad none of y’all are doctors. “No sir, we can’t save your life because we just shut down the operating machine.” Try seeing the people you serve as people and not assholes. Or go through your whole shift with a chip on your shoulder, it’s your choice.

    Reply
    1. MANGLER

      Because Doctors never complain about their work days right?
      Nor do bankers.
      Or engineers.
      This is a humor blog.
      The bag of dicks is only $9.99 for your eating pleasure.

      Reply
      1. MANGLER is a Homophobe

        Wow. Eat a bag of dicks. You’re so grown up! Plus you can’t even make an intelligible argument. Doctors and everyone else may complain, they just don’t lie and pat themselves on the back for it. Keep up the hate, misery looks good on you.

        Reply
  7. Serenity

    haha, I use the cappuccino machine lie all the time. But tbh, ours sucks and makes bad cappuccino, so in my eyes, it IS broken! lol

    Reply
  8. David Cowling

    Guilty all 10 times. You can add, the grill has already been shut down and I’ll get you seated as soon as possible.

    Reply

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