In this world today, restaurant customers expect everything to be handed to them on a silver platter by a happy, smiling server who will do anything to appease their every whim. Gone are the days of bending over backwards to please someone, for now we are expected to contort our bodies into pretzel shapes and force ourselves to be double-jointed as we lean under forward. And if we don’t do exactly what the customer expects of us then their recourse is to write a bad review someplace that they think will send our business down the toilet.
Case in point is this winner who took one star off their review because the restaurant did not offer free wi-fi and their phones had NO signal for the entire course of their meal. Of course they still had access to emergency calls, but I suppose that Tweeting or Instagramming does not fall under that jurisdiction. It is “UNACCEPTABLE!” They feel that, not only should every restaurant provide free wi-fi, but the restaurant should provide the password AT THE TABLE without having to ask for it. Despite the excellent service, the review was for only four stars.
I’m sorry, but I don’t think that having wi-fi, free or otherwise, has anything to do with a restaurant review. Whether you have cell phone service or not shouldn’t affect a dining experience in any way. How about we keep the restaurant review within the confines of the food and service, huh? These people are the same leftover puds who leave bad reviews because the sun was too bright on the patio or there were too many sirens on the street. This reminds me of the spoiled bitch who left a bad review because she saw a woman have a heart attack at a nearby table and it pretty much ruined her appetite. I need for these people to take a step back and reassess their lives. They are already in the fortunate situation of being able to take themselves out to dinner. They seem to be forgetting that there are plenty of people who cannot afford to to do that. Going out to dinner is not a right, it’s a privilege. And if the restaurant makes the decision to not provide wi-fi, then I suppose these people, who probably have their i-Phones surgically attached to the side of their heads, can hop on over to 7-11 to heat up a microwave burrito and get a Big Gulp and go eat lunch at the Apple Store.
If you are ever in the dire situation of being in a restaurant that has no cell phone service, here is a list of things you can do to pass the time instead of staring at a 4” screen in the palm of your hand:
- Talk to the person you are with.
- Eat your food.
- Experience life in real time.
- Take advantage of your brain and make an effort to remember what your cocktail looks like instead of depending on a camera phone and Facebook.
- Realize what a luxury it is to not feel the incessant need to check your email every five minutes.
And here is what you should NOT do if you are ever in the dire situation of being in a restaurant that has no cell phone service:
- Leave a bad review about it because all that does is show the world that you are an over-privileged, whiney, self-absorbed piece of shit who spends every waking moment trying to find something wrong with everything that comes your way.
GNJMSTR
Remember all those old movies/TV shows, where the mother would say to the babysitter, “Here’s the number to the restaurant. Goodbye.”? I’m not even that old…
And I believe, some people would actually rate higher because there is no cell phone service or WiFi. If that thought even crossed their mind for a moment.
Some people rate camping in the mountains high.
MANGLER
On Tuesday I found myself avoiding a particularly rough commute by angrily pulling off the road and into a chain restaurant’s bar. I was not the only one with that idea. The bar was wrapped at a normally slow time. I was lucky enough to get the seat closest to the server well. I ended up having fantastic interactions with the bartender and servers who found themselves in the weeds at an unexpected time. The point? Once traffic cleared and the crowd dispersed and I was ready to leave, my bill was a little lighter than it should have been. I asked the bartender if he was sure that was right and he replied “you were the only person who looked me in the eyes and not your phone all evening dude”.
Sashy
Fun fact: Every cell phone carrier company is required to handle emergency calls whether you’re their customer or not. So if you see “emergency calls only” on your phone, it means your phone is unable to connect to your carrier, but it still is getting signals from another one. Sometimes this happens because you’re out of the coverage area, other times it’s just because you’re in a dead spot. It also can happen if your phone’s SIM card is missing or deactivated (even without a working SIM card you can still dial 911).
Another fun fact: These customers were lazy assholes. If your cell coverage sucks, that’s your phone company’s fault, not the restaurant you happen to be at. And this restaurant in fact did offer free WiFi – sure maybe it’s only for half an hour, but if you need to be facebooking for half an hour when you’re supposed to be eating out, you should just stay home.
Nope
I’ve had the same thing happen. Someone left a comment on google about how we don’t have free wifi or cell service. First off all we are located in the fucking boonies – ain’t nothin’ but nTelos works out there (and nobody knows what the fuck nTelos is). Second of all, we are FINALLY getting higher speed internet in our county (they are installing the big ass cable on the same road as my restaurant) for the first time ever! Also, the roof on the building blocks some of the signal. This shit happens when you live in the fucking country.
Melissa
Actually I work here and there is free wifi offered, it’s just something in the building roof doesn’t let some phones get signal. Not really anything you can do about it.
Garry Coulson
Sell them all for scientific experiments!
Jen
Oh yeah. We regularly have people ask to be seated in the restaurant (over the quietish, more casual bar area) then proceed to take our their ipads and watch an entire football game in the dining room – no headphones, obvs, because surely all the other diners came out to dinner to hear a football game instead of their companion’s conversation. I’m tired of trying to educate these assclowns (like their moms should have done) and simply disconnect wifi. We’re a rural pub in England and the signal just goes out at random. Shame. However, no one has had the stupid idea to complain about it on Trip Advisor yet. (or Trip Avenger as we’ve nicknamed it)
Misty
My Boss picked up a customers bill when they complained that our wifi wasn’t working. UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!
sarah
I officially hate everyone.
Larry
you fucking kunt, you really think your meaningless social media life is someone else’s responsibility, you fucking kunt, YOU FUCKING KUNT, KUNT, KUNT…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
sarah
I really like your style, but it’s “cunt.” 🙂
Anon
OCD cellphone habits make it so hard to run the dining room, too. Feel awful for hosts… “Hey, will we have table 5 back in 20 minutes?” “Nope. They’ve had five bites of their entrees, seats 1&2 are taking duck face selfies and faceswapping on snapchat, seat 3 is Yelping, and seat 4 just sent their food back because it got cold while uploading pictures of spaghetti to Instagram.
And why should every restaurant offer you access to their Internet? It’s not a smart thing for the establishment, cyber security wise. Use your data for an hour and a half, or how about hey, put your FUCKING phone away!
Heather
Amen!!!
Steph
You gotta be kidding me. They apparently don’t have a life beyond their cell phones.
Jeri Velgreen
Quick…Someone call a WAAAAmbulance!
Laura P
LOL! Perfect response to their “emergency”
nem0
I had a situation once where I was in a restaurant with hardly any cell reception and no wifi. Ordinarily, that’s not a problem, because I try to be present while eating with other people, but on that particular night my mom had a heart attack and my dad was trying to let me know.
I didn’t blame the restaurant or my server for the technical difficulties, because they weren’t the ones who chose where the building sits, where the nearest cell towers are, or what the walls are made of. I even left an extra generous tip because I’m sure my flailing rush to get out of the building and call my dad once his, “CALL ME NOW,” text landed was a major annoyance, and how are they gonna know I’m trying to get details on family health and not check my Tinder or post that last appetizer photo to Instagram?
Hang
Uhh sorry your mom had a heart attack. But not sure if you’re blaming the Restuarant for having having reception or being and understanding patron.
Hang
Sorry typo on the last comment.
“But not sure you’re blaming the restaurant for having a bad reception or being an understanding patron” you sounded a little upset when typing this comment.
Blehhhh
Uh. They very clearly said they DIDN’T blame the restaurant for not being able to get cell service in the building.
“I didn’t blame the restaurant or my server for the technical difficulties, because they weren’t the ones who chose where the building sits, where the nearest cell towers are, or what the walls are made of.”
smh.
To nem0: I really sincerely hope your mom is okay now. I lost my own mom to a very sudden unexpected heart attack just over 2 years ago. It was- and still is- devastating and very hard to deal with. My dad is completely heartbroken and even now, he cries for her at least once acds_.
Anonymous
They said they have AT&T, no fucking wonder they had no signal.
Alan
This is almost as bad as people expecting restaurant staff to provide compatible chargers for their cell phones…
chris
Had someone bitch about this the other night… Looked at them and asked again, “CAN I OFFER YOU SOMETHING TO DRINK?” (besides a phone charger, or needle nose pliers, or a power drill, or whatever other pile of shit you forgot to bring to a place that sells food and beverage?)
Beverly
Wow! I hadn’t heard that one. People are getting more entitled by the minute. smh
Sharon
I hate that I live in a time when people think it is worth complaining about if they cannot get on their cell phones!
If your business life is so urgent that you must be connected to the net, then call ahead and save yourself some frustration.
But, I really have to tell you, there is nothing, NOTHING, N O T H I N G that is so urgent that it cannot wait for you to take a breath and enjoy a meal in silence if you are alone, or just enjoy your food and the company of your dining companions if you are with someone.
Anonymous
For security reasons, I will NEVER connect to a public WiFi connection. If I don’t have cell service to use my own data, my phone doesn’t get used. People have literally forgot how to function without a phone in their hands all the time, it’s pathetic.