It has happened again: a restaurant customer has found a way to be insulted so that he could justify why he did not leave a tip for his waiter. A reader who works in a very casual pub sent me the photos of this business card and told me he was left this instead of an actual tip that he could, you know, pay bills with and shit.
My name is not “GUY”!
My wife is not a “GUY”!
We are CUSTOMERS, not GUYS!
We pay part of your salary and all of your gratuities on our tab!
STOP CALLING US NAMES
and START GIVING US RESPECT!
and on the other side:
My wife is insulted to be called a man.
We are not part of your friends or “buds”.
Neither if us are support wires called guys.
In some countries “guy” is a terrible slur!
We do not know where you picked up this slang but, do not expect a gratuity from us!
We promise not to call you names.
When you stop, We all will politely thank you all!
This guy needs to chill the fuck out. Obviously, he has too much time on his hands and is too easily offended if he went to all the trouble to go to Vista Print and have these stupid ass cards printed out. And he must really get his panties in a twist about the use of “guy” because he even paid extra to have text on both sides of the card. He is serious, y’all. I am going to ignore is overuse of exclamation points and the caps lock key. I will even ignore that the quotation marks should be after the punctuation and not before. I will also look the other way when it comes to all the stupid fucking underlining and the use of red text to really hammer the point. (You see what I did there? By saying I was going to ignore those things but then bringing it to your attention, I didn’t actually ignore it…)
The use of the word “guys” is a colloquialism; a commonly used word with an accepted definition when used in certain contexts. Greeting a table by saying “How are you guys?” is not implying that everyone there has a meat popsicle and a couple of chicken nuggets swinging between their legs. Just because a server refers to a group of people as “guys” is not diminishing the existence of any whisker biscuits that may be in the mix. If he was from the south, maybe he would have said “y’all,” but he’s not so he didn’t. He said “guys.”
This waiter did not call the wife a “man” or a “support wire” (?). Neither did he call them names or pretend they are “buds” and I don’t know in what country “guy” is a terrible slur, but I do I know that it’s not the United States so it’s really not that big of a deal. It’s certainly not a reason to stiff a server. If you you are one of those uptight people who cannot stand being called something other than “my lord” or “my lady,” feel free to tell your server how you feel the first time it happens. Don’t let the server keep doing it and then pull out a stupid card saying how offended you’ve been over the last hour and that you’re not going to tip because of it. That’s just being a dick. A guy with a dick. A cheap guy with a dick being a dick.
By the way, my book is officially out now and I kinda need people to buy it so I can give up one of my shifts. CLICK HERE.
Mandi
They had better never go to Mexico, or any other Spanish speaking country, where groups of people with one or more men are referred to in the masculine pronoun… imagine the cards those guys would have to have made up for that trip ?
Samm
I really want to know which countries consider “guys” a terrible slur. I feel like this is a blatent falsehood.
Sharon
Freedonia… there was a documentary done about Freedonia, called, “Duck Soup”.
Nakita
Oh Brother! I am a former server and have worked truck stop to fine dining. I’ve made the “sir” mistake only to be told he was a “ma’am” – lesson learned. The idea that location and type of a restaurant or pub allows us to use slang or relaxed familiar greeting among strangers is wrong. Our guests will often remind us of that and it can be embarrassing not only to them but to us. To welcome someone into your establishment should be clean and crisp. Give a brief intro: Welcome; Let your guest know who you are: I’m Donna; Inform and ask for the sale; Present the bill and Thank them for stopping in. No name no foul!!!!
To the customer who left the card – you are in the wrong as well! Many servers today are taught to do what they do because their management or trainers have taught them the slang and behavior. So, send the general managers, bosses, etc. your comments in hopes of making a change for the better. And, if you don’t, keep the card to yourself because we do know who pays our wages and don’t want you back.
Tim
Gotta call you out on this one, BW. You said guys is an acceptable colloquialism, acceptable to whom may I ask. Certainly not the offended customers. The fact that this encounter took place in a casual dining establishment lightens the severity of the offense but does not exonerate it. Firstly, we of the waiter persuasion are there to help create a pleasant dining experience for the customer so why start off the customer’s dining experience by rubbing them the wrong way? As someone who was married to a woman for thirty plus years who likewise took offense at being addressed as “you guys”, I am aware of the effect that manner of addressing someone can have on them. So what is the problem with addressing customers with “Welcome to ——–, how are you this evening?( the word you has a magical quality in this context, it can be used to address one person or 1000 people and contrary to popular belief it does not require an additional label attached to it, eg you folks, or you guys, or y’all). And no,this phrase has not been around forever as one person commented. I think it really took hold in the 80’s when a popular tv show, Magnum P.I.,popularized the use of it as the show’s star Tom Selleck, used it indiscrimanently when addressing anyone and everyone(just a theory of mine). So drop the “you guys” unless you are serving a party of linebackers.
Maude
the restaurant i work at includes “guys, folks, y’all,” specifically as words to never use when referring to the customers, along with about 30 other words/phrases not to say in my corporate as fuck employee handbook. I still don’t know what to call my customers so I just use sentences that don’t require a word like that. Sometimes “guys” slips out, Ive been there 2 months. Personally don’t give a fuck and don’t care for anyone who does, I don’t care how old you are, get over yourself.
also, I never said ma’am or sir growing up and literally never used the words at all before this job, and i absolutely hate having to say it!
Mike
I’ve been serving for 13 years and I find people get more annoyed at “sir, ma’am, folks” than “guys”.
Tracy
Happened to me too! I walked up to a table of females, and casually walked up and said “Hi guys! My name is Tracy, I’ll be your…” Immediately was cut off a yelled at “DO WE LOOK LIKE GUYS TO YOU?!” – I was humiliated! It was a genuine friendly greeting at a family casual dining restaurant. Needless to say, I was intimidated the whole time, and was afraid to approach them after that. I received no tip. I didn’t care though, I just wanted them to leave!
Lulu
Some people just love to be offended. by the way, im a big fan of yours from the Uk and i have bought your book! Amazon ate out of stock but once they get it back in, one of those beautys is heading my way! Hope it helps you give up at least some of your shifts with Moe!
Sarah
I’m sorry, am I the only one still stuck on what a “support wire” is? Off to Google…
outhousecat
I think it’s one of those wires that hold electric and telephone poles in place. I only know this because a friend’s horse almost cut his ear off rubbing against one.
Alan
Is there a “safe space” these hyper-sensitive assholes can run to filled with stuffed animals, crayons, and cute puppy videos?
Sharon
WOW! Just… oof!!!!!!!
He actually had cards printed up with this on it.
In a world where people go to bed hungry, homeless, and lonely, children are molested and abused…
But, this…THIS is what offends him enough to take a stand.
I cannot imagine how awful it would be to be have to spend any time with him whatsoever.
Joey
Yes! Soooo much this!
April
Guys has been used since frickin’ EVER to mean a group of people. Anyone who is offended by it is probably above 50 years old, stuck in their ways, and probably cheap as hell anyway. A normal person, who maybe was offended by it, would look at the rest of the service, was the server polite? Did you get your food nice and hot? and just let it go. Assholes like the one above are literally looking for a reason not to tip.
outhousecat
I’m over 50. I’m not offended. Except a little because you called me old. 😉
outhousecat
That emoji was supposed to be a wink and a smile. Idk where that worried looking bitch there came from. (wink/smile)
suzq1407
OMG how can anyone get their panties in a twist over something so simply and used everyday !!! as you said if it really offends you, say something the first time a server uses it you idiot !
P.S. Just finished the book with a box of kleenex for wiping away the tears (of laughter), so fricking true its not funny 🙂
Kd
GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS!!!!
Riane
I usually say “Hello folks. How are we doing today?” As an opening line but on occasion I’ll ask my tables “did you guys find everything ok?” (I work in a buffet) I don’t really think it’s that big of a deal and if I had a table that did I can’t say that’d I’d let it bother me too much. They obviously we’re looking for a reason to get their panties in a bunch. Anyone who takes the time to print something like that is just waiting for a chance to use them. Quite honestly it would just make for one of those “Guess what this asshat at work left for me today” stories that everyone just laughs and makes fun about for forever. I just hope this dude realizes he’s marked he and his wife as that couple no one wants to wait on at that restaurant for life.
Scott
I was a server for many years, I am now an Executive Chef, Manager of a Casual Restaurant. Maybe the servers should learn how to be better servers– saying you guys is not proper– how about just saying How are all of you today? Also, why say my name is ____, I’ll be your server…I know your my server, I’m in a restaurant….of course my server came to my table..or are you the dishwasher. I agree with most of your rants…..you missed the boat on this one.
Carrie
Sometimes someone not the server will talk to a table, how is clarifying who you are a bad idea?? Also 90%+ of people under the age of 50 say you guys to address a group of people, it’s proper enough for a casual restaurant.
This guy is clearly just someone who doesn’t want to tip ever so used his Vista print coupon to make these hideous cards, knowing he can feel justified in not having to tip when he goes to Applebee’s for his next big night out.
Sharon
I am 65 and I say “guys”.
This same guy has never remembered a server’s name not one time in his life.
RJ
I worked as a server for years and to the team “folks” never seemed to offend anyone
Tyler
Because not leaving a tip at all because of one insignificant word is beyond acceptable. And they say Hi my name is Blank I’ll be your server today, not to tell you they’re a server, but to tell you they are serving you and only they. It’s a polite way of making sure customers don’t flag down every person wearing the uniform. That customer is now that servers responsibility and they both know it now.
Courtney
This isn’t a “proper” restaurant though, it’s casual. ‘Guys’ is a casual term, and in this case was used in a casual restaurant. And even if it wasn’t, the server simply saying the word “guys” doesn’t warrant completely stiffing the server. This guy wasn’t even looking for an excuse not to tip—he had one already printed on paper.
Evan
That’s what the worst part about this is. The fact that this guest printed out these cards ahead of time, as if he’s just waiting for some unfortunate person to drop the word “guys” and then use that as an excuse to not tip.
Sharon
@Scott No.
Liz
*you’re
Todd
Oh, you’re one of THOSE Executive Chefs.
shari pedersen
I agree….maybe ‘you guys’ is okay for a group of 20 something men…at a casual restaurant.
Not so, in my opinion, for anyone else….
The other one that gets me is when you thank the server for something and they reply “no problem”…..grrrrrrrr
Signed, former server, bartender, manager 15 years
shari pedersen
Although the pre printed card & no tip is pretty ridiculous!
Avee82
Maybe his wife looks like a guy. It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve seen it.
Jack
Perhaps a full knee bow and referring to them as ” You most generous and kind persons who have chosen to dine in this most humble establishment, how may I serve your most holiest of persons?”
Matt
People like that should be euthanized. Theyre obviously wound way too tight to be counted among the sane people.