Customer Offended for Most Stupid Reason

12935162_1085139158217885_1563968139_n12969160_1085139154884552_400171403_nIt has happened again: a restaurant customer has found a way to be insulted so that he could justify why he did not leave a tip for his waiter. A reader who works in a very casual pub sent me the photos of this business card and told me he was left this instead of an actual tip that he could, you know, pay bills with and shit.

My name is not “GUY”!
My wife is not a “GUY”!
We are CUSTOMERS, not GUYS!
We pay part of your salary and all of your gratuities on our tab!
STOP CALLING US NAMES
and START GIVING US RESPECT!

and on the other side:

My wife is insulted to be called a man.
We are not part of your friends or “buds”.
Neither if us are support wires called guys.
In some countries “guy” is a terrible slur!
We do not know where you picked up this slang but, do not expect a gratuity from us!
We promise not to call you names.
When you stop, We all will politely thank you all!

This guy needs to chill the fuck out. Obviously, he has too much time on his hands and is too easily offended if he went to all the trouble to go to Vista Print and have these stupid ass cards printed out. And he must really get his panties in a twist about the use of “guy” because he even paid extra to have text on both sides of the card. He is serious, y’all. I am going to ignore is overuse of exclamation points and the caps lock key. I will even ignore that the quotation marks should be after the punctuation and not before. I will also look the other way when it comes to all the stupid fucking underlining and the use of red text to really hammer the point. (You see what I did there? By saying I was going to ignore those things but then bringing it to your attention, I didn’t actually ignore it…)

The use of the word “guys” is a colloquialism; a commonly used word with an accepted definition when used in certain contexts. Greeting a table by saying “How are you guys?” is not implying that everyone there has a meat popsicle and a couple of chicken nuggets swinging between their legs. Just because a server refers to a group of people as “guys” is not diminishing the existence of any whisker biscuits that may be in the mix. If he was from the south, maybe he would have said “y’all,” but he’s not so he didn’t. He said “guys.”

This waiter did not call the wife a “man” or a “support wire” (?). Neither did he call them names or pretend they are “buds” and I don’t know in what country “guy” is a terrible slur, but I do I know that it’s not the United States so it’s really not that big of a deal. It’s certainly not a reason to stiff a server. If you you are one of those uptight people who cannot stand being called something other than “my lord” or “my lady,” feel free to tell your server how you feel the first time it happens. Don’t let the server keep doing it and then pull out a stupid card saying how offended you’ve been over the last hour and that you’re not going to tip because of it. That’s just being a dick. A guy with a dick. A cheap guy with a dick being a dick.

By the way, my book is officially out now and I kinda need people to buy it so I can give up one of my shifts. CLICK HERE.

Discussion

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