Over the years, I have written many times about my feelings for children and how so many parents think that just because they figured out how to fertilize an egg, they must be very, very special individuals. (I wrote a whole chapter about it in my book, which you buy here.) No, I do not have children, nor do I want them. That does not make me selfish, as a co-worker once told me when I worked at the Marriott. She called me selfish for knowing that parenthood was not the road for me. Meanwhile, she was six months pregnant with her third child and spent the first five months not even knowing she was growing a baby inside her. But I’m the selfish one, uh huh…
This week, a video has gone viral of a comedian who is dealing with a heckler who does not like his jokes about entitled parents and their children. You just know the woman who was upset is the same bitch who was at Uno’s last week and let her kid run all over the goddamn place while she stuffed another Prima Pepperoni down her throat. Steve Hofstetter takes down this heckler in a way that gives me the most intense feels. I don’t know Steve personally, but I want to give him a hug, a high five and a complimentary margarita because he gets it so fucking right.
The next 3 minutes and 26 seconds are going to be the best thing you see all day.
Suck Balls
You should be thanking those parents, their kids are going to be paying for all you comedians’ and service economy workers’ social security, ’cause that’s the only thing you’ll have in retirement. Get a real job!!!!
Reginald van der Slythe III
Sad, obvious troll is sad and obvious.
And no doubt a shitty parent who got their pweshus fee-fees huwt.
G. B. Miller
I are a parent, and I agree with this video 100%. It’s hard to raise kids so that they actually behave in a restaurant (knock on wood here), but not impossible. It means taking responsibility in showing theme the right way to behave.
And just because someone doesn’t have kids doesn’t mean they can’t offer an opinion. Nieces and nephews. Hello!
funkypuppy
I’m a mom and this was AMAZING. I’m part of some Mommy Groups on FB and the number of entitled bitches just amazes me. Women writing one star reviews when small businesses don’t have public bathrooms (or if they do, they dont have a changing table). One woman told her child to drop trou and PEE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STORE because they didnt have a public bathroom!!! Are you kidding me??? What is WRONG with you?
Tabby
I’m a mom, and that was hillarious. I love him now. Also, BW, I’d say you’re pretty damn smart for not becoming a parent when you know it’s not the road for you.
guest
As a proud non-parent, I declare that hilarity’s for assholes.
Joey B
May all the Gods bless You ,Sir! My -Soon to Be -Ex -Boss is preggie again with her 3-rd asshole .And she is lazy , entitled , useless ” christian” . Her job title is -” Cultural Ambassador” ….Really bitch ? Really? Why do u need that ? I work in a restaurant .They took a busboy away so they can ” save money” so I have to be the hostess /waitress/busser /cashier , but they have ” Cultural Ambassador” position ….Wow ! They had a huge party for about 40 corporate ppl . Noone left a dollar but I had to clean up piles of huge mess & deal w/a lot of bad attitude .Restaurant needs a cook , a busboy , a waitstaff , a dishwasher ….not a bunch of useless corporate pricks , who never even picked up their own napkin off the floor.And I wanted to tell her -The World doesn’t need another ugly baby -stop getting preggo & inflicting that spawn on the Planet Earth . Peace !
CincyDrunk
I have a new hero. Sorry BW.
Joey B
Hey Cincy ! I like what u post & always read it . My name is Joey B & I live in Southern Cali 🙂
jp
That is a thing of beauty!
Elizabeth
Loved it. 😀
MANGLER
I particularly enjoy that he’s flicking her off through much of their dialogue.
Mean tipper
He used to own the comedy club in Long Island city.
Forgot the name of it. Laughing Devil, I think
Madeline
Just as a comment, the dude would not have been able to prevent the helicopter getting into the tree (because he lacks the knowledge), and him commenting on the pilot “F.. up” would not have fixed anything, not to mention that without knowledge he does not know whether it was a pilot error or a malfunction. Bit to much to pass judgement I’d say.
This being said, I think as society we pass too much time trying to judge the others around us. Servers are judging their customers, their customers are judging them all because we want our own rules followed without considering the needs, problems of others.
As a mom of two, I always make sure my kids respect the people around them whether in the restaurant, museum, movie theater or anyplace else. But I realized that manners and behavior are extremely hard to instill and shape. Kids are individuals with their own personality and as a parent you have to figure out o way to impose rules without wiping that personality out. It’s a hard job, that I chose and I will not dream of accusing anyone of being selfish if they don’t.
I have no doubt there are people out there that don’t even try to take responsibility for their kids, but for those who do, it is unfair to be lumped into one single category.
Moo
Yes, I’m sure your little Shitleigh and Bratford are the most spheshul sneauflakes ever. Let them keep those pussonalities and they’ll be slated for the class where they handout certificates of completion instead of diplomas, mainly because you liked the idea of free babysitting, but didn’t care enough to make them do their homework.
Joey B
Amen Moo 🙂 Speshul Snowflake -good one! And ” Parents” pls don’t forget to let them run thru the restaurants w/o shoes screaming , shrieking pumped up on sugar -modern day ” parenting” I guess
Kim
Omg, Shitleigh! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
guest
Shut the hell up and shove that shitty laughter up your ass, dickwad! If I see physically fucked up for bein’ such a douchebag and hear you cry out in pain like a baby while beggin’ for mercy, I’d laugh my ass off at you and refuse to help you!
FillmoreSlim
Uhg! ??
CincyDrunk
He said he was not a helicopter pilot as much as he is not a parent. You don’t have to be either to be an observer to say “You fucked up.”
Virginia Lady
hit a little close to home, huh?
if your kids aren’t out of control hellions, and you aren’t an entitled parent, then this shouldn’t bother you. i’ve raised two children and am a grandmother of three. i know how hard it is to take kids out in public, and how hard it is to teach them to behave. but here’s the thing: no one is lumping you into any category. people witnessing a child’s meltdown in public can tell if it’s a one-off, or if the child is habitually allowed to run wild with no consequences. if a child is having a rare public tantrum, no one is going to lump those parents into any category.
Cameron
Amen! I hear from so many parents who get FURIOUS at the idea of restaurant having rules about how children should behave. “My children are the most perfectly behaved diners EVER!”
um then obviously those rules don’t apply to you. Then why are you so angry?
It would be like saying “Why do they make drunk driving laws? I drive and I’ve never driven drunk!”
If you’re angry, clearly you have a reason to be angry. Because you know those rules in fact DO apply to your kids and you’ll be embarrassed when he/she violates them.
If your child is having a ‘rare’ meltdown, part of being a parent is dealing with it.
So do that.
Michael K.
I think you really missed out on the analogy here Madeline. Maybe we should instill a sense of humor in our children as well.
Barreleh
‘You don’t have kids, so you don’t know about pizza.’ Is there a think tank somewhere that could hire this woman?
Terri
YASSSSS.
looplisa
Best thing I have seen a long time. Tell it like it is!
Nicole M
That made my day 100% better!