9 Things Every Server Thinks When a Customer Tells Them It’s Their Birthday



  1. Wow, congratulations. You were born, that’s quite the achievement.
  2. Gee, I don’t know anyone else in the entire world who has a birthday except everyone else in the entire world.
  3. If you ask me to sing happy birthday to you, I will hate you.
  4. One free dessert coming right up as soon as I go thaw it out.
  5. I am going to pretend I didn’t hear that.
  6. Birth does not entitle you to free cocktails.
  7. I guess that means you want to wear that big sombrero- that same big sombrero that has been worn but 100’s of people and never once cleaned.
  8. I do not have time for this bullshit right now.
  9. Why the fuck aren’t you at Chuck E. Cheese?


  1. Kelly
  2. Sarah
  3. Joey B
  4. Joey B
  5. Madeline
  6. Sharon
  7. dead_elvis
  8. medicated and motivated
  9. Deborah
  10. CincyDrunk
  11. Don
  12. Judi
  13. Clay
    • Sharon
  14. Chloe
    • Sharon
    • Philip Jackson
      • Sharon
          • Sharon
  16. Todd
    • Deb
    • Sharon

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