How To Shut Down a Bad Reviewer in 8 Words

12782067_973696046029951_293816385_nThese days, if you’re going to post a bad review online about your most recent restaurant visit, you better be prepared for the aftermath. Sure, maybe you will post it and no one will ever read it and your life will go unchanged, However, there is always the chance that the restaurant will respond to your review and cut you down to size. Most of the time, if a restaurant is going to bother responding to negative reviews, the response will be a carefully crafted essay full of witty repartee in defense of their own behavior. On occasion though, it only takes eight little words to get the point across.

Such is the case with a review written for Olive Tapas Style Eatery over in the UK. The restaurant has 159 reviews with an average of 4.5 stars, but when a customer gave it one star and a negative review citing a dirty table, an unfriendly staff, slow food that was below average and an awful tasting wine, the general manager looked into dry storage and learned he was all out of fucks to give. His response:

Someone didn’t get a valentines card this year!

Just like that, the reviewer will always second guess giving a one-star review. Was the experience so bad that it truly deserved one star? If she had given three or even two, would the manager have been so quick to pull out the snark? We shall never know. What we do know is that it is not necessary to write a whole novel when you want to get your point across. Just eight words will do it. Eight. Simple. Words. Bravo, General Manager, bravo indeed.

And by the way, if you like snark and bitch, you will love my new book that is coming out in April. Click here to buy it.

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