These days, if you’re going to post a bad review online about your most recent restaurant visit, you better be prepared for the aftermath. Sure, maybe you will post it and no one will ever read it and your life will go unchanged, However, there is always the chance that the restaurant will respond to your review and cut you down to size. Most of the time, if a restaurant is going to bother responding to negative reviews, the response will be a carefully crafted essay full of witty repartee in defense of their own behavior. On occasion though, it only takes eight little words to get the point across.
Such is the case with a review written for Olive Tapas Style Eatery over in the UK. The restaurant has 159 reviews with an average of 4.5 stars, but when a customer gave it one star and a negative review citing a dirty table, an unfriendly staff, slow food that was below average and an awful tasting wine, the general manager looked into dry storage and learned he was all out of fucks to give. His response:
Someone didn’t get a valentines card this year!
Just like that, the reviewer will always second guess giving a one-star review. Was the experience so bad that it truly deserved one star? If she had given three or even two, would the manager have been so quick to pull out the snark? We shall never know. What we do know is that it is not necessary to write a whole novel when you want to get your point across. Just eight words will do it. Eight. Simple. Words. Bravo, General Manager, bravo indeed.
And by the way, if you like snark and bitch, you will love my new book that is coming out in April. Click here to buy it.
Joey B
I managed for 7 yrs .Always supported my staff .Sometimes they are pricks too.Trust me .And when they go out -they lose it -I had an empl w/double standarts ….but I think this GM knows what she/he is doing .God Bless good Managers !!!!I never ever give them grief -good or bad they are ….Remember Kids they are also people and usually don’t get paid enough to deal with our shit as well as customers crap .My motto is :”we don’t need a Manager .Just the goddamn Mgr card so we can apply coupons ,discounts and all that jazz ,…we are adults …please Boss leave the storage room unlocked so we can stock and do our side work tooo ..I had good and bad bosses, but I always go out of my way to get along w/everyone and make everybody look good -it’s just beeing human .And may the Lord bless the ones that been kind to me (and I’m not even religious).I Love You Bitchy -You patron Saint of all us Servers -we had no voice b4 .I been following and reading Your posts since 2013 …You kept me sane and provided with much needed laughter .If U ever visit Cali (LA where we live by the freeway ) please let me know -I will wait on You ,I make You a Lemon Drop ,I make You laugh .I can’t wait to make enough money to buy Your book .I’m gonna think about you and do a great job today ( I got 3 jobs and an 4-th job offer).-and I have a feeling that GM was right :))
dead_elvis
And maybe it was a dirty shithole that deserved a simple, to the point review.
As always, management is the root of the problem.
Anonymous
If it was a shithole, the average rating wouldn’t be 4.5 stars.
dead_elvis
Like the Brits know anything about good food!
Reginald van der Slythe
Yeah, just like the Japanese are all really good at math and Americans are all fat rednecks who love NASCAR.
Go back to your grave and stay there.
Vicki Reno
Some people just want to take their bad life out on you
Amanda
I don’t get how that shuts the reviewer down. If anything I think the reviewer may have been right and if the General Manager doesn’t care then that attitude probably trickles down to staff.
Sharon
Oh, I think Bitchy Water was dead right on this.
sdgh
I agree, how does throwing out an overused insult a good comeback or shut down the review.
Raichu
I have to agree on this one. The manager’s response was unprofessional and proved nothing.
Yvonne
“The general manager looked into dry storage and learned he had no fucks to give”. This may be the brightest thing I read today. Thank you!
Hide
Like a general manager ever steps foot in dry storage…
Vicki Reno
I do
Raichu
A good general manager does.