I cannot be certain, but I think Cosmo magazine just insulted people who wait tables over the age of 35. In an article called “15 People Share the Most Important Lesson They Would Tell Their Twentysomething Selves,” one valuable piece of advice is this:
Don’t be a waiter forever, maybe? Restaurant work is for the birds. It will kill your social life, family life, and destroy your body. Find a job that doesn’t involve so much sacrifice for such shit wages. Although, I would argue that my waitressing experience taught me a lot about perseverance, hard work, and how to treat other humans with respect, so you know.
Fuck you, Cosmo. (The magazine, not the drink.)
Granted, that piece of advice supposedly came from someone who was giving her younger self some pearls of wisdom, but what’s wrong with waiting tables forever, Cosmo? Are you trying to make those of us who are still waiting tables in our 40’s, 50’s and 60’s feel like worthless humans? I know, I know, Cosmo didn’t specifically write that tip and it came from a reader, but by publishing it, isn’t Cosmo standing behind the idea that waiting tables after a certain age is something to be ashamed of? Laura Beck, who curated the list, you can do better!
When did waiting tables kill my social and family lives? As far as I can tell, I have quite the healthy social life and the only reason my relationship with my family is less than ideal is because most of them live 1500 miles ways. That isn’t my job’s fault. And waiting tables doesn’t necessarily destroy your body either. In my opinion, it keeps me moving and in the words of Sally O’Malley, “I’m 50! And I like to kick. Stretch. And kick.” (Okay, I’m 16 months away from being 50, but my body is nowhere close to being destroyed.)
The only way my body will be destroyed by waiting tables is from grazing too many french fries and sneaking too many cocktails. Besides, would Cosmo rather I sit at a desk all day until I experience sever muscle atrophy and get carpal tunnel syndrome?
Cosmo does offer some good advice in their list. No one will argue that staying in school is a bad idea or that you shouldn’t start saving your money. I just take issue with the fact that an older version of someone is telling their younger self to quit waiting tables as if it’s the worst thing that could happen in one’s life. Lots of people over the age of 35 choose to wait tables for a variety of reasons:
- The hours are flexible and it allows you to be home when your kids get home from school.
- You don’t have to take your work home with you.
- The money is usually better than working in a retail environment.
- If you need time off, you just get someone to cover your shift.
Maybe Cosmo could have added one more piece of advice from me:
Learn to enjoy what is happening in the moment and don’t get caught up in how others perceive success. If you are still waiting tables when you’re 48 years old or older, it must mean that there is something about it that works for you. Accept it, embrace it and be happy with your life.
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Melissa
No one cares what you think , Veronica. You do nothing for everyone. Go hate yourself in a corner, not here.
Veronica
If you are over 24 and still waiting tables, you are a fucking loser.
Melissa
I love serving and retail. I’m going to school soon for ultrasound tech but will continue to serve even when i get a job as a tech. I love serving. I love retail. I love being on my feet and interacting with humans and not sitting at a desk staring at a screen. I had one desk job and I was miserable. I also like hands on work so much more than typing on a computer. The shifts go by faster. Your coworkers are nicer and you build friendships. Hell I liked scraping milk out of the bottom of the cooler at the gas station I worked at when I was 16 better then that office job.
Elaine
I want to go back to waiting tables ( I have about ten years experience) and I am scared because I am 52 that I wont get hired. This blog is encouraging to me but I am still a little worried about being hired. I don’t think it’s just about age. I’ve had responsibility for raising four kids and I’m afraid that I may be judged on how I look and that’s not just about age. It does have a lot to do with age though, because I was probably more attractive when I was younger but still look good for my age. I’m just not sure I look like the waitress type. (and age doesn’t help that). I need to get over my insecurities and try to look the part when I get an interview. There’s classes in bartending and serving that give a certificate in my city if you are unemployed, so I am thinking about doing that even though I have experience, because it shows certification in skills and I haven’t waited tables for ten years. So for me its not about why are people still waiting tables its about that they are lucky to have a job ! i would love to go back to waiting tables, an as my mom always said she understands why I like working in restaurants, because people go there to relax and its a lot more of a friendly relaxing environment than a lot of work places. People are so happy once they get their food, and people go there for ENJOYMENT.
Ellen
Sorry if this is a little tmi, I don’t tell people this in real life but here goes:
*My family has Huntingtons Disease. There’s a chance I could get it. But with all my research I’m convinced the more active I am the longer I’m good without starting symptoms. Same I think with altimeters and Parkinson’s.. I love waitressing. I have intense social anxiety/PTSD which I will finally go to counseling for soon, and I’m not the fastest mentality and physically. Ironically despite all this I’m a pretty damn good waitress lol.
I plan on working as long as possible and not retiring (yes I will save just in case). I saw an article of an Applebee’s waitress still working at 90 years old… She is my hero. At 28 I hope to be her someday.
Waitressing can be harsh work but at the same time I am SO grateful for it. Especially knowing the risk of getting HD I’ve learned to appreciate the ABILITY to do the small things. Waitressing is constant activity mentally and physically. I truly have faith that this could keep me protected from HD.
Lately I’ve been having problems like terrible memory and very slow reactions, even minor involuntary movements through my body.. but because of family circumstances I was pretty much unemployed for over a year. I recently got a new job as a waitress again. It’s taking me a while to train and I’m not sure if I’ll last. But I am giving it my all and believe I can do it if something does happen I will not give up on the restaurant industry and I’m sure God will help me find a new waitress job eventually.
When I started as a server at 18 I thought man this is tough I don’t want to be stuck doing this forever. Now with all my research and little “scares” of possible HD symptoms I see this job as the best gift ever. Aside from that it’s good money where you never take work home and are paid for all the hours you work, you meet new people every day, and it keeps you young long.
I’m planning on doing it forever and maybe freelance graphic design/writing if I have spare time. I have an Associate in psychology (don’t want to spend money and time to become a licensed psychologist) and many who know me don’t understand why I won’t finish and at least get a bachelor’s in something… Some think I lack the confidence or ambition..
What no one knows is how grateful I am to work as a server for so many reasons. I plan to always do it… To have the freedom to pick the freelance projects I want in my own time, and I also hope to write novels and make beautiful paintings a few hours a week ..
I thank God for waitressing. It makes me stronger, I believe it helps me fight HD, forces me to fight social anxiety, helps me get to know others and share Christ’s love (Ive actually helped bring some customers back to the church unintentionally), gives me the flexibility to care for family and some time to freely pursue other professions on the side. No matter what happens I’ll always try to keep a waitressing job.
Nobody knows all this and sometimes they judge but I don’t care. I will keep smiling and working hard with gratitude!❤
LOL I’m sorry I wrote so much and it was a lot TMI haha, but it’s truth.
Thank you so much for this article! It and the comments ha been such great support!!! 🙂
Jason
Thank you for speaking truth and love to lost souls and everyone else that comes to eat. The fact that you don’t let our platform as servants of the people go to waste is inspiring to others doing the same. Keep it up. Always encourage. I love it and so does our Lord and Savior.
James Green
Hey Cosmo,
I am 60 and love being a waiter and plan to do it until I’m 70. Last year I made $68,000 and rarely, if ever, do I work more than 35 hours a week. Free food and great insurance. And you say that I shouldn’t be doing this?
rachel
I’m 22 and I’ve been waiting tables since I was 14. I did go to school to be a medical assistant they were going to start me off 9/hr. Which is like 280 a week I can make that in 3 days being a waitress. I quit school and I’m still waiting tables. I work 20 hours a week and get pretty good money more than I would going to school. The hard thing about my job is dealing with customers they can be so insensitive and put you down. When a customer asked me if I was going to school I told him I no longer was. He said “shame on you! Your never going to get out of here now”… a “friend” of mine asked if I was going to go back to college I told her it wasn’t even on my mind that I’m doing good where I’m at I bought a house a car I have money in the bank I’m not struggling I’m okay and she replied “well you got to think of something you wouldn’t want to be a waitress your whole life” she said it as if it’s the worst thing you can be. I’m glad I found this website really makes me feel like I’m not alone in this and hearing of all this wonderful ladies loving their job makes me appreciate mine more and for me to stop letting people’s opinions put me down.
d
I am 52 years old. I still love what I do. And yes it is a real job. 🙂
Lindsey
First of all, there’s nothing wrong with waiting tables, no matter the age. It’s honest work. 2nd, who the hell even takes Cosmo seriously? It’s a one dimensional magazine full of superficial tripe, that recycles the same shitty topics over & over. “40 ways to go down on him you haven’t tried” “how to know what he’s REALLY thinking when he’s in the toilet” “It happened to me: I hooked up wearing Grannie panties” Yeaaa. I rest my case.
Andrea Fritz
I love your sassy and articulate viewpoint!
Tove
Thank you for a great article. Makes me feel a lot better since I am 55, living in South Florida, and about to find a job as a waitress. I have been to many restaurants here and many of the waitresses are “older”. Never thought about age, and I know my husband doesn’t either. The most important thing is a nice smile, great service, and knowledge about the food and wine. I don’t plan on working at Rachel’s (the topless restaurant in WPB) LOL
Brenda Durall
I spent 40 years bartending and waiting tables. I put two kids through college. I never missed a football game or a track meet or a whatever else they were doing. For me, F&B is the best gig ever. Shame on Cosmo.
Kate
I’m 36 and have been in the restaurant business since I was legally allowed to work at 14. Have a daytime salary job and waitress every weekend- that job has put me through college, masters program and now doctoral program. People keep asking me if I’ll quit when I become Dr. Kate, but they and I both know I probably won’t… Just like everyone else has mentioned, it keeps my body moving (my fitbit can attest to that!!), it’s great money, I have made some of the best friends and have made a life out of the hustle. I love it and I don’t think I’ll give it up until my body makes me…
Thanks for being you, bitchy!!
Katie
First off… I love reading “The Bitchy Waiter”
I started waiting tables at 36 and continued on for 35 years. I worked in a large and very famous restaurant. I stopped at 71 because the restaurant closed it’s doors. It was the best thing that I did. I loved it and it kept me young. It was heavy work. Try carrying 6 huge prime ribs on a tray , threw the huge kitchen and very large dining room. But once you get that tray up there , it’s a piece of cake. I wouldn’t trade it for a sit down job. Plus the money was out of sight. Way more than any other job that I can think of. Think of all the money and time you save by not going to the gym. No need. Best exercise in the world.
A pox on Cosmo!!
Kisha
I am 30 and have been waiting tables since I was 17. I’ve had servers jobs in catering, the medical field, office jobs etc. I was in nursing school but had to drop out due to family circumstances. I complain about being tired all the time but I honestly love my job. I love the people and I would go crazy at a desk job. I make damn good money, more than I would anywhere else and I have flexibility. I don’t have to budget my money, I can walk in to work completely broke with the satisfaction of knowing i won’t be broke when I leave ?
Crystal
Good thing I don’t subscribe to Cosmo then…:)
David Cowling
That’s ok, I don’t like Cosmopolitan.
melanie
51 and still slinging plates, single.just bought a house next to the ocean,money in my savings.and i just love what i do, tried something else once..hated it and missed being in the restaurant.hope i can serve into my old age.i once knew a very old woman who walked hunched over still waiting tables…life goals.And my old feet hurt sometimes but it is about my only form of exercise,but i still move faster then most co-workers half my age! Have not bought a cosmo in thirty some years i guess i got tired of there lame ass articles.
Rosie
I’m 58 and only been waiting tables for 4 years…wanted just a part time job. I love it and the money per hour is better than most jobs. I gave up the corporate life and retired early now I have fun at work and meet great people. Cosmo knows nothing!
Tove
Hi Rosie, Love this article btw. I am a 55 year old female and living in South Florida. Maybe if you read this you could give me some tips about getting a job as a waitress at my age. And if someone else has good advice please reply:) I did work as a waitress in my 20’s but would like to try it again. Thank you! Regards, Tove
Cecile
I started waiting tables at 39, after a 15 year career in Law enforcement. At 50 I went back to school and got my degree and I bartend/manage now in a little wine bar and taproom. I figured it out that I make better money in the biz than I did in the medical field! Also my husband is retired and it affords me the flexibility to take off here and there to head to a distant beach.
Of course at 55 I have some aches and pains, who doesn’t! I think moving around rather than sitting at a desk is so much better!
Kelsey
Uhh.. sorry, you’re almost 50???!! Wow I always thought you were like, maybe 30. Crazy!
Joshua O
As a male, age 38 and still in the restaurant biz(20 years) I had to say something. I would love to watch a show about snooty, uptight know-it-all people make an attempt to work like we do. Long hours sometimes, no break, or eat on the go.. crabby people barking orders or being rude for no reason.. sore feet.. tired body.. missing kids going to bed or weekends stuck at work.. live the restaurant life for a month and see how we do it.
Jeri Velgreen
If you’re over 35 and reading Cosmo, you’re a fucking loser.
Karen
I started serving when I was 16 still serving and I am 58, I worked in an office, accounts payable and receivables for 13 of those years and waited part time at that time. Was laid off 5 years ago started waiting full time 30 or so hours s week was offered another day office job in the mean time and turned it down I love working only 5 or 6 hours a nite I love my coworkers my customers the work out and the money. I don’t have yo get up at 6 in the morn to clean my car off sit at a desk go the same thing all day with the same people for less money no exercise boring eye strain and most of my customers say I’m one of the best service they’ve gotten in a long time. I say I’ve been doing it for over 40 years I should be good. It’s a good job also if you want the flexibility to raise your own kids and still make a good living. Most of the girls I’ve worked with over the years that we’re going to college while they waited tables continued to serve because the money you make waiting tables is better than what they went to school for do how bad is it really?
Bonnie Murray
I have been waiting tables since I was 23, I am still a server and I just passed my 69th birthday. The business has been good to me, overall. The only part I can agree with Cosmos article on is it does destroy your body, it’s a ” wear and tear job ” and it can’t be helped !! I have one three year old knee replacement and another one pending. I have Osteoarthritis everywhere, bulging veins and the leg cramps are unrelenting. I am now down to one night a week, trying to retire. BUT I like the customer contact enough to continue to let my body go to shit.
Lisa
Wait a minute……you’re telling me that anyone still reads Cosmo?! Seriously?
Sharon
I know! You can learn more about life reading a Little Lulu comic book!
Erica
Ack, poor editing on my part. Sentence should read, “They gave readers the opportunity to write advice to their younger selves, and one of those readers send to regret ever being a waitress.”
Erica
I think you’re taking this a little personally. Cosmo is not implying that you are a failure if you’re waiting takes after thirty-five. They gave readers the opportunity to write advice ro their younger selves, and one of those readers wishes that she regrets ever being a waitress. Publishing that opinion is not insulting to waitstaff. Quite frankly, if I had the chance to give my less-than-a year-ago self some advice, it would be, “Anything but waitressing. ANYTHING. BUT. WAITRESSING.”
I work third shift at Waffle House in a small town in Mississippi, and I’m lucky if I make $30 in tips on a ten-hour shift. It’s not because I’m bad at my job; it’s because 1) it’s not busy enough 2) a lot of people who do come in are cheapasses ordering value menu cheeseburgers who won’t tip no matter how much I hustle for them. So I’d agree that the wages are shit.
I’d also argue that it’s been hell on my body. Human beings are not nocturnal, yet here I am working from 9 p.m. to 7 a.m., just in case someone has a late-night hankering for a waffle. Yes, I’ve gotten a bit stronger, but I also feel like crap if I have to work more than three days in a row. At my last office job, I got a little workout carrying heavy case files AND I didn’t have to work for tips as AND my work schedule didn’t demand that I work when human beings are supposed to sleep AND my shifts were eight hours instead of ten. If it had been more than a temp job, then I’d still be there, making $10/hour doing what I got a degree in. Sleeping all day and working all night has done a doozy on my social life.
Basically, I agree with what this person wrote. I do not want to still be waiting tables at thirty five, not because I think people who do are failures but because I hate this job so much that it makes me want to die a little.
CincyDrunk
I’d probably hate my job too if I worked third shift at Waffle House. I had a third shift gas station job for three months that was probably my worst job I’ve ever held. But I love waiting tables. I’d sometimes cover thirds at Steak n Shake and bank, but it was admittedly exhausting.
Maybe look into nicer restaurants? I’m at a decent Italian place and I only have to work evenings, part time, to cover my bills. My boyfriend works at the same place, much more hours, and could afford a Michael Kors purse for my birthday. (Apparently this is a big deal, I’m not really into designer names.) Or if you genuinally hate the industry, get out.
Susan C
then you ARE NOT a good waitress…….if you were you would have made more money in a 10 hour shift then you did………and you PAID for a DEGREE you only make $10 an hour…….you got ripped off Dude……………I also work the night shift,and have for 6 years now……your body gets use to it IF you change……..yes you miss out on Some things working this shift,not much though………I make more a month in tips then I do in 2 months of wage…….I have met Stars……Movie,Sports,etc….STARS……I don’t think I would have been able to do that working a desk Job………and another Plus…….my head isn’t as big as my ass,because I do a dead-end job.
Amy
Honestly Susan that comment was so ridiculous. I think you are mad about something else going on in your life not a comment on a website. I don’t think bullying anyone will help anything. This is a blog and its just people sharing their opinions. No need to be an angry jerk.
Becca Pearson
Exactly what I was thinking…
Christina
I can only smile at the stupidity of some people. I am 48 and waiting tables. I went the management way, I went to a corporate job even. I make more money doing this. I put my son through college, I have seen the world, and met so many amazing people.
I work 15 hrs a week, Monday thru Friday and make as much as my brother and husband in the oil field.
Both of them work 50 hrs a week.
Let Cosmo talk, I will,stay waiting tables.
Caressa
Seriously barking up the wrong tree with this article. I am not quote sure after all that we have learned about our economy and how life can take a turn this writer feels inclined to tear down people’s livlihoods. I am a server. I don’t simply work in the industry I also work for a non profit company and I serve to fill in the gaps. I love it. I make good money sometimes anywhere from 20-30 dollars an hour and my schedule is pretty flexible. Some people choose this profession for those reasons and are damn good at it and make a living. Shame on you. Especially from a woman’s perspective??! Write a real article not some petty list of crap. This is journalistic excellence people, remember that. No wonder they say it’s dead this b*+ch is getting paid to make lists.
Sharon
Not many people are better servers than a crazy gal named Girlie at the Pioneer Restaurant in Arlington, TX. Girlie worked there for 30 or more years, until she was over 70. She quit about 5 years ago and has since passed away.
Girlie was far smarter than any magazine writer. She could figure people out within a few seconds after talking to them. I can see her now, coming up to our table after taking Laura Beck’s order… she would lean over our table and quietly say something like, “Well here’s ANOTHER one who is adding to my hatred of humanity.” And, we would laugh together, because the Laura’s of this world are always causing the rest of us to roll our eyes and curse under our breath.
Girlie her hair in a beehive and who knows what she packed away in that thing!!!???!!! Pencils? Extra packets of Sweet n Low? A mace gun? She could handle ten 4 tops and two 6 tops filled with loud Texas men and women who had hair and belt buckles as big as a 1973 Cadillac, and get it all right.
She worked five days a week 6:30 a.m. until 2:30 p.m. and raised her 3 grandkids by herself after her daughter died. Over the years we got to know those kids from when they would come by the restaurant when we were there. God, they miss their grandma. (And, so do the rest of us who were privileged to know her.)
I hate that people write articles like this, giving advice to your women that is ignorant and prejudiced. We need more Girlie’s in this world…
Here’s to you, Girlie!!!!
Sharon
YOUNG women
not YOUR women…
Dang!
Lise F Scully
That’s hysterical. You should write a short story about her. I’d buy it. RIP GIRLIE.
elaine worley
I waited tables for 53 years
(I year in kreseges dime store behind the fountain) n I retired at 68 due to my husband being ill.i made very good MONEY. I probably would still be at Red Lobster if not for that.many of my coworkers are in their 60’s n 70’s n still serving.Red L0bster liked us older servers. LOL
wheres-my+coffee
i started serving at red lobster 1999 for the insurance… & 401k! …yea…i went to tip the bar and a girl told me “No, Red Lobster pays us”.. GREAT ! twenty years later and the rules changed… instead of 20yrs to keep isnurance (after a two yr 30hrs a week waiting date) … you must keep 30hrs. a week… only aloud to take 3 tables and 1‰ of sales goes to bus, , 1% to bar….. in my late 50’s jobs kullin me… aquired many phyical problems as a result…. insurance that i got for $35 a week. (good coverage).. i still get, for $113 a week ! Empoyer pays 39$ on top of that…..so, either there’s a better restuarant…. or this was a BAD career choice on my part
suzq1407
I am in my early 60’s and started waiting tables in my mid 30s’, after working in offices. My joints ache lot less, I am less stressed and I make a hell of a lot more money. I can take time off whenever I want, as long as we can cover shifts, and i work with the best bunch of people going, our youngest waiter is in her late 30’s. Experience counts!!!
Miranda Louise
I’m 62 and a waitress 3 days a week! I love it! It’s very social, and physical, and it keeps me fit….having something to do is really huge as you get older….I love my job! STORYCORE did an interview on me, and it’s in a book. I feel sorry for people who just do nothing as they get older…
trippmadam
When I was a child long ago in the 70ies, at least in Europe fifty or sixty year old waiters were a common sight. I even remember a waitress who was long past retirement age. Since she had no place to go she just staid to help out at the restaurant where she had been working since her late teens. It was a family business, and everybody saw “Fräulein Frida” as a part of the family. And no toddler or teenager would have dared to misbehave in the presence of one of those older waiters or waitresses.
Nicole Miley
I’m 41 and went back to waiting tables after being a stay at home mom. I pretty much write my schedule, love the people I work with and make damn good money!
veronica
I work 15-25 hrs a week and make $34.00 hr. after tip out and taxes. I may be 55
and dipped in Camphor and Menthol ointment, but I can still stir it up in a pan.
Oh, you should see some of the faces at the table when I approach….they can smell
me comin!!!!
Tina
Me too!!. But, I do try to use an amount that they can not smell. Thank you for letting me know that I am not alone. ?
brenda
I have been a server for almost 38 years,will be 54 next month. I love my co-workers,my customers and the chance to meet new people everyday! Yes sometimes it’s hard on my body,but it’s better than being cooped up in an office everyday!! I have money for everything i need and more,life is good!!
Nancy Keeney
I worked as a server until I was 56. I stopped because I had to move in with my dad to help him. He was 85 and the family did not want him to live by himself.
Jacklyn Lee
I am almost 52. I have 2 (two) college degrees. With economic downturns and the housing market issues, I very soon discovered that I could make a better living as a server–without the fear of being downsized, or the necessity of wearing pantyhose every damn day. The people I work with are juggling family commitments, child care, elder care, their college courses, their own health issues, their partners schedules, availability of transportation, and many other concerns–the flexibility makes it all possible.
Stefanie
I’ll be 50 this year and I still love being a server. It keeps me up and moving. A body in motion, stays in motion. I bet a desk jockey can’t run around all day, without a break or sitting down, and still function when they clock out.
Sara
Served until I was forty, then made a jump to the dark side (management.)
Enjoy the benefits and paid time off, not thrilled about the pay cut!