How to Get Something (My Book) for Free!

BW_coverEverybody wants something for free, right? Of course we do. If you need proof, just hop on over to the Olive Garden Facebook page and look at how many people are complaining about the tiniest things in the hope of getting a free breadstick. Well, I am here to alert you to something you can get totally for free and it’s not a lemon wedge, an iced tea refill or an STD.

As you may or may not know, my book is coming out in a couple of months. (“We know. It’s all you fucking talk about,” says everyone who knows me.) It’s going to cost about $12 which is about the price of a couple of drinks if you live in a normal city or it’s the price of a teeny tine martini if you live in New York City. Since I agree with you that the $12 should be spent on alcohol before books, here is a contest for you to win a copy of my book for free. Actually, 25 copies of the book will be given out because my publisher is probably already trying to figure out what they are going to do with all of the extras when no one buys them. (Insert sad face emoji here.)

You can click this link to enter to win The Bitchy Waiter Book. I hope you will buy it but if you’re a total cheap ass like I am, then I hope you will try to win it. The more people who enter, the more likely it is that the publisher won’t regret their decision to call me an author.

Thanks, every one. Click here to enter!

I wait tables and bitch about it on my blog, The Bitchy Waiter.

8 thoughts on “How to Get Something (My Book) for Free!

  1. I don’t have to buy your book ’cause I’m a sales rep for Sterling from DC-Philly. But you can bet I’m going to sell a lot of them! I’m reading the advance copy now and laughing my ass off on every page. You have done a great service to every put-upon server nationwide. Plus you’re a great comedic writer. I’m looking forward to the sequel (“Bitchy Waiter 2: The Revenge of the Bitchy Waiter”?).

      1. Just finished it last night. It was a scream. I’m going to be pushing it hard to my Sterling accounts. (I have a weird territory; I live in Charlotte, NC, but I now go up to DC and Philly, and that’s where I sell Sterling; another group sells them in most of my territory, i.e. NC, SC, TN, and VA.) Good price point, glad they didn’t do it as a $24.95 hardcover. You’ve got a great voice and a great way with words. I’m a foodie and frequent restaurant guest. I never did get to spend anytime as a server in a real restaurant (which I regret), though I did deliver pizzas for several years, which seems to have a lot of the same bullshit you put up with. I always tip at least 20% (to get 15% from me, you pretty much have to pee in my food), and don’t make unreasonable demands. (My wife has been a server before, so we both have good manners.) My wife and I actually own a bookstore here (she runs it, while I sell on the road), and I’m going to push her to get our Foodie Book Club to do it when it comes out. I know you’re nervous–every single first-time author is–but I think you’re gonna get a great response with this book. Just be your bitchy self! I very much hope this won’t be your only book!

  2. I intend to purchase your book. I’ll leave the contest to those who can’t afford to buy it. My only question is…how do I get you to autograph it as I live in Vegas. I would gladly pay for any additional shipping charges etc. I remember when your page had less than 2000 followers or likes.
    Thank you for giving us a venting page.
    From a 39 year in the service worker.

  3. Pfft, I’m Canadian and with our dollar tanking hard ($6 head of cauliflower anyone) and we aren’t eligible for the contest. Let’s see $12 US is, at this moment, about $18 cad plus shipping & handling. Plus Duty? Who the fart knows.

    1. $6/head??? You’re getting a bargain! Here in the 6 (gotta sound like the President of while you’re in it’s more like $9! You get head cheaper in some parts of town around here. And please; no mention of a certain former mayor who liked his Crack pipe.

  4. Yeah… okay… Mr. Waiter… whatever… I will need some extra ranch.

    (I have already ordered my copy of your book. I hope you sell all they can print.)

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