10 Things Children Do in Restaurants That Slowly Kill the Souls of Their Servers

1. They leave Cheerios all over the damn place.


2. They try to order for themselves even though they can’t read a menu and they don’t like to talk to strangers.


3. They spill their drink even though you tried to give them a cup with a lid on it.


4. They sometimes leave their dirty diapers anyplace but the trash can.


5. They just sit there in their stroller like they own the place.


6. They require you to do extra work like walk all the way to the back to get a high chair or a booster seat.


7. They say they will only use the crayons on the paper but as soon as you turn around they use it on the wall.


8. They scream at the top of their lungs making it impossible for you to concentrate on really important things like making coffee and rolling silverware.


9. They run all over the restaurant endangering your life as well as their own because you never know what they may run into.


10. Every once in a while, one will smile in the sweetest way or say something really cute that makes you feel like an asshole for saying how much you dislike children.


8 thoughts on “10 Things Children Do in Restaurants That Slowly Kill the Souls of Their Servers

  1. Kim

    I get very small childrens’ attempts to feed themselves but after a few tries the parents need to step in and add some control to the feeding. We ate with manners in my childhood home and we did the same when my daughter was small. The parents need to realize they do not abdicate their parent duties just because their is a server/busser/support staff for the restaurant. Are they pigs at home? I think not.

  2. David

    I was a bitchy waiter yesterday. After 11 years of waiting tables in a 4 diamond resort. I work breakfast and dinner and sometimes as a host at night. Another server had a family of 5 with three toddlers and 3 high chairs, I was the back server (busser) that day. After the family left, I proceeded to follow the mother and told her that she might of left the kids milk on the table and that they left the table a complete mess. She followed me back to the table and saw the milk and I took the chairs away from the table so that she can see the mess. Her response was “oh there’s my milk” and saw the mess. The husband then attacked the manager on for 15 minutes and wanted to know why I told them that they left a mess. eggs, crayons, toast, syrup, all over the floor and table. The husband said “does he not like his job” the manager stated he is one of the best servers we got! My co-workers were surprised yet upset they all have kids or grandkids. I was verbally written up for telling the truth. Really!!!! I would have taken me about 20 minutes to clean the floor and table then sanitize , let alone the other guest who needed to be seated or guest already seated next to them. The husband came unglued about me telling the truth. I was not raised like that. The mother even offered to sweep, TO LATE!!! the damage is done. I took pictures to CYA. Any comments? I’m Toast!!!

  3. Rachel Bexell

    When my kids were little and we went out to restaurants, I always tried to make sure I cleaned up any and all messes they made. I picked up every scrap of food that hit the floor, I wiped off the table, and I stacked up our empty dishes as neatly as possible. I still try to leave the table neatly, because I’ve always felt that it’s disrespectful to leave a mess for someone else to clean up. The server’s job is to take my order and serve my food, not to clean up an unholy mess. I also believe people should tip in cash if they can, in case the restaurant takes a cut of the tip if its put on a card. And any server who has to deal with children deserves a little extra for being patient. I’m just sorry everyone doesn’t think this way.

  4. Nicole

    I received $16 and a dirty diaper, on the plate, on a $200 bill today…
    Needless to say and I was a little bitchy today.

    1. Sho

      Who changes a diaper at the TABLE? Ugh! And then just leaves it there. People make me lose faith in humanity all the time. *shakes head*

  5. Kyle

    Mr. Bitchy can we talk about number two some more. There is nothing that I hate more than when I’m busy and some little kid is struggling to even babble.


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