The Worst Tip on God’s Green Earth

Bitch, please

Bitch, please

There is no server in the world who wants to get a piece of literature expounding the wonders of Eternal Life with Jesus Christ our Savior, especially when that piece of literature is not accompanied with a 15-20% tip. It’s been said before and I will say it again: “Jesus loves me, this I know, but Jesus doesn’t pay my rent.”

A photo has been making the rounds on social media and it has caught my eye enough times to feel the need to address it. It comes from a Facebook page called Disciples of the New Dawn and it’s ether a cult or someone who is a desperately needy Facebook troller who craves attention, which, now that I think about it, sounds exactly like the Bitchy Waiter Facebook page. The photo says:

Going out to eat? These tracts are a great way to brighten your server’s day and give them the hope they so desperately need. Most people who work in the food service industry cannot get real jobs because they have a criminal record or are under the grip of drug and alcohol addiction. You wouldn’t want your hard earned money going towards financing their sinful behavior would you? Do the right thing, tell them that there is hope and Jesus CAN save them from their path to self destruction and the eternal damnation that follows.

Okay, so whichever Disciple of the the New Dawn of the Planet of the Apes created that image is an expert troller of epic proportions because they pushed every single button that is going to piss off the service industry. Not only do they imply that we are all total losers who have no other job option, they say that we are all drug and alcohol addicts. How rude. I can stop drinking whenever I want to stop, I just have to keep drinking to be able to tolerate assholes like this in my section. If I wasn’t somehow buzzed, who knows what I would do in retaliation for a receiving a Jesus tip. And then they want to add a little extra salt to the wound so they make sure to refer to waiting tables as something other than a real job. Well, the joke’s on you Disciple of the New Dawn Wells, because there isn’t any salt since I never refilled the salt shakers, so ha ha!

The photo is presented on their Facebook page with a story as well:

Friday evening seven members of The Copperhead Vanguard stopped at a local chain restaurant for supper after they completed their supply run. Upon leaving they were followed out the door by their waitress who accosted them for leaving some of our literature behind instead of a gratuity. Sergeant Major Fletcher, politely explained to her, that her real treasure lies in Heaven and that rather than be greedy she should be grateful for Christ’s gift of everlasting life (Matthew 6:19-20). She continued to be rude and abusive, so Master Sergeant Jacobs went inside and spoke to the manager. She alerted the manager to the her unacceptable conduct and she was rightfully terminated on the spot. This is the cancer that liberalism spreads; people in lesser stations in our society have become insufferably greedy and believe they are entitled to what others work hard for. Simply put, she was unable to understand why she didn’t deserve a tip. This is Obama’s America in a nutshell folks. The food wasn’t prepared correctly, it arrived unacceptably late, several times she very rudely interrupted them while they were composing their status update emails and WORST of all they overheard her telling another waitress that she was quote “Hella Weeded”. If you want extra you need to put forth some effort into your job, getting high on the job and treating your customers poorly isn’t the right way. We pray that she learned her lesson and will try harder if she finds another job. God’s Peace.

Again, this whole thing is probably completely made up and the Disciples of the New Delta Dawn are just trying to get attention. I mean really, who would think that “hella weeded” means getting high on the job? Whether it’s real or not, enough people are seeing the image who will automatically assume that it’s all true and it is my duty to to make sure that even more people see it who will know they are full of shit.

If your server is rude and does a poor job of serving you, then absolutely, that server does not deserve a 15-20% tip. No server is going to treat a customer like shit and then be surprised when they get stiffed. However, no customer should ever think that a piece of paper explaining how to get into Heaven is a decent tip. It’s not. All that happens to that pamphlet is that it goes into the garbage with dirty napkins and leftover chicken bones. It does not go into the bank and it does not pay bills and it does not spend. Leave them at home. As for the Disciples of the New Dawn of the Dead, leave us servers out of your preaching. We don’t need you standing up for our souls and we certainly don’t need you affecting our tips. As for everyone who is reading this, here is their Facebook page and here is their Twitter. I think you should all go see what they are about and make your own conclusions, but my conclusion is that the Disciples of the New Dawn are crazy fucks who have no respect for anyone in the food service industry and they can eat my pud.

Or maybe it’s just a satirical website and they’re really really good at what they do.


40 thoughts on “The Worst Tip on God’s Green Earth

  1. Marie

    I know I’m late to this, but I had to share that when I went to their Twitter page, the “Matriarch” as she calls herself is loudly and frequently complaining about women who get c sections. Even saying they are not “real moms” WTF? I thought really hard about replying it’s a medical need and can hurt the baby and Mom because on top of the other totally crazy fuckery she tweeted including something about how ppl she didn’t like are autismal whatever that means (didn’t seem to mean autism at all). But I was scared of letting crazy lady know my Twitter handle. She seemed to like being a harasser.

  2. Bee

    I’m not a fan of people leaving these “join my religion” slips for servers (especially the ones that look like money- fuck right off with that). But I think if you leave one, you leave it WITH a tip. 15% minimum unless they were really awful, but don’t get someone excited for their hundred dollar tip and say they shouldn’t feel disappointed because Jesus.

  3. brian harrell

    Just Oh How I wish, We restaurant professionals could organize a day that we all could get to church early, take all the seats and leave pamphlets in the collection baskets

  4. GORE

    ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh the jesus humpers!

    ” Disciple of the the New Dawn of the Planet of the Apes”


    ““but I have five kids!” ”


    “Once you locate the church, round up all your drug-addicted, ex-felon waiter friends that received these notes and place them in their collection plate, and see how the church likes it! ”

    LOL! good one!

    If this IS a troll group, they’re funny. if they’re REAL, they’re FUCKED UP.

  5. Anna

    This makes me glad that I work in a fast casual restaurant, where we take customers’ orders and run food, but we don’t wait on them and we get paid minimum wage so we don’t expect or rely on tips. The after church crowd is already bad enough. They come in huge groups and push all these tables together, making it hard to walk through and deliver their food, and probably causing a fire hazard. Most of them bring a bunch of children (especially since we did “kids eat free” on Sundays up until recently) and let them run wild or throw food and smashed up crackers everywhere. I really wouldn’t blame our managers if they discontinued kids eat free because they are sick of having to worry about a brat who’s running around the restaurant bumping into a food runner, and sick of having to clean up the unbelievably disgusting pigsties that these families leave. But, I do know that it was a decision that the boss of the whole chain made. But oh, we are just the most evil people in the world because we aren’t feeding these people’s kids for free anymore! As always, they take everything out on us cashiers and act like we make all these decisions. When one lady asked about kids eat free and I told her we discontinued it, her response was simply, “but I have five kids!” Err…how exactly is it our problem if you had five kids that you can’t afford to feed? Perhaps she’s one of those people who can’t use birth control because she has to have as many children as God wants her to (though God also gave her “free will” and a brain though, right?)

    But, since I do have some friends who are waiters in actual sit-down restaurants, I haveh heard the horror stories about what bad tippers the church people are! This whole thing with the fake money is just insane. What disgusting people (no, not all church people, but the ones who would actually leave that as a tip, as well as the ones who demand that restaurants feed their kids for free, let their kids act like Tarzan in the restaurant, or just act like all-around assholes).

  6. Ann

    I do have friends who like to leave tracts, BUT as far as I’m concerned, you only leave a tract on top of a 25-30% tip, not instead of it!

  7. Coco

    Disciples of the new dawn are nothing but a troll group and a very poor one
    at that.
    They don’t like to be called trolls and if you do call them that on their facebook they will delete you.
    They even run a exposing the disciples of the new dawn page on Facebook where basically they just link you to stories on the disciples of the new dawn page.
    Make a page called the disciples of the new dawn are trolls.

  8. Anonymous

    This sort of fuckery is why I’m no longer a server. I have no problem dealing with shitty and/or idiotic customers, but I got really tired of relying on them to pay my bills.

  9. Barreleh

    As a former server and current Christian I can tell you: Church people are for the most part lousy tippers, for reasons I still can’t fathom. What they have to say to people would go much further if with the tracts they also left 20%.

    1. Stephanie Shaffer

      The only fire being fueled against Christ is from the Disciples of the New Dawn, they are the ones spreading this image around the internet. You can look them up on facebook.

  10. PunkyPoo

    Do they not know that the term “in the weeds” means that you are completely overwhelmed!!’ She was heavily weeded meaning she was in the middle of a shit show with no help in sight. Probably due to those bible thumping duche bags!

    1. Rachel

      To be fair, I did not know that until I read your comment. It is something of a leap to assume that she was high, however. But now I know what that means, so thanks!

  11. Liliana Costas

    The Disciples of the New Dawn are not a “troll site.” They are devout and upright members of my community. I live just a few miles down the road from where they congregate and they do their absolute best to help those in need. I believe all of you who are complaining are most likely upset that they see through your self-deceptions and call you on your Satanic, gluttonous, slothful lifestyles. I mean, really–waiters and waitresses? What, too lazy to get real jobs? Content to leech off society by accepting gratuities for carrying food to a table, a job a trained monkey could do? Gratuities you spend on your filthy drug addictions, blasphemous tattoos, and back-alley abortions. Perhaps if you’d open yourself to God you’d see the truth–you’re jealous of the truth and light they’ve found, and you lack the moral fiber and strength of character to accept you’re sinners and will undoubtedly burn in the Lake of Fire for your disgusting, selfish, and entitled way of life.

    Even the dregs of society such as yourselves may be redeemed through the love of the Lord.

    1. #ONTHEFLY

      Oh wow. You sure told us! That wasn’t at all offensive…and in the name of the Lord?! Well, if Jesus paid for our sins, we might as well get our money’s worth…but I suppose since I am a godless lazy food carrying society sucker…my tattooed drug addicted rehab drop out waste of skin monkey girl skip skap skalleywag mark ass trick punk bitch self better repent or something. Get on your level of sweetness and intellect… Thanks for the wake up call…I can see how youre a conduit for others salvation…

    2. PunkyPoo

      Yeah that’s a real “Christ like attitude you have” I wonder what Jesus would think of your attitude toward those less fortunate than you? I was a server for 5 plus years. I was Layed off from my position of marketing director during the economy downturn. Being a waitress was a blessing as it allowed me to work around my family’s schedule. No other place would have worked
      Around the time I needed to volunteer at school, take time off for my husband’s many surgeries and my maternity leave. They accommodated my family centered lifestyle
      That you assumed was sinful. I have worked with more upstanding citizens in my serving career than I ever encountered in my professional career. Shame on you for supporting evil people and having such a hateful heart. People like you give me more than
      Enough reason to shy conventional religion. Read the bible again. You misinterpreted it the first time you half read it.

    3. Lucia

      If every single waiter and waitress in the world all got up and left serving to persue “real jobs” as you call them there would be no one there to serve you the food you ordered in the restaurant. You can’t demand the service while simultaneously shitting on the people who provide it for you love.

    4. Robin

      Wow! You are completely ignorant. Have you ever spent one day of your life in the customer service industry? I am a bartender who is paying my own way through college. I have never done drugs and I am also a follower of Christ. Your statement is the most outrageous and most unchristian like statement I have ever heard! Being in the industry is hard work and 60 hour work weeks. It is one of the hardest real jobs out there. People like you are the reason why so many don’t want to attend church, because of your backwards way of thinking. Please don’t ever eat out ever again! You wouldn’t want crazy drug influenced people serving you anyway right?

    5. Rachel

      Alright Liliana, its time to stop the trolling. I am a Christian, I worked in fast food for 4 years, and I took the time to check out that silly Facebook page. Either it’s a troll page, or they are all brainwashed to the level of Jim Jones and his cool-aid. None of this is supported in the Bible. Let me remind you that Jesus hung our with tax collectors, prostitutes, and other “sinners”. God incarnate associated with the “dregs of society”. He didn’t yell at them from a distance to get their crap together and get a “real job”. I hope that someday you are able to see these people through God’s eyes and love them the way that He loves them, because we could use one less Pharisee in the world. On that note, I’m going to say that you are probably a “whitewashed tomb”. You are such an upstanding Christian, I’m sure you will understand what I mean by that.

    6. Stephanje Shaffer

      I will be sure to let the waitresses at my job know what you think of them, considering most are good Christian women, mothers and grandmothers, who have been doing the job for 20+ years (actually, one girl just hit her 50 year mark at this restaurant), and they enjoy making tips and enjoy waitressing so they stick with it and probably make way more money than you because they’re so good at it. Sorry they don’t fit up to your stereotype, same as most waiters and waitresses I know. As a Christian and conservative myself, I don’t see where your point of view is coming from and don’t understand why you condone such a biased, not to mention delusional group (cult) if you really are a good Christian as you claim to be.

    7. McKenzie

      Ive been a server for 6 1/2 years now and it’s taught me to spot the asshole, like most bible thumpers that walk into my restaurant. You wouldn’t last a day as a server.

    8. im shay shay bitches*

      -ㅠ.ㅠ mid Tina is a server I work with at olive garden. I’m a dishwasher. I could never do what she does. You don’t understand until you see it with your own eyes. These men and women work very hard. They don’t just bring your food and refill your coke. They just religion to get out of tipping.. Ms Tina is an amazing woman wo works hard and takes care of her special needs sister. She goes to church and is just the sweetest person. Her son works with me as well. He doesn’t drink or smoke. I drink beer sometimes but I don’t do drugs.they are 2 of many wonderful people I’ve met in the service industry. You are so misguided and ignorant. My good friend Brittany is a server at logans. She’s put herself through college successfully. She’s a server because there isn’t any work available in her area. She has to pay her bills so she serves ignorant entitled people like you who look at her as a servant and second class citizen. By the way… I’m a dishwasher. I see all the wasted food and it hurts me to know you paid 15 dollars for a meal you didn’t eat half of, meanwhile your server is running around helping everyone in their section and helping others with theirs. They didn’t make enough that morning to buy anything to eat so they are hungry throwing away the food you so desperately needed so quickly. This goes on all day. Because you know they work a double shift. Oh wait you didn’t know that because you are ignorant of life outside your own. The service industry kills my faith in humanity everyday. That’s so hard to get over after I clock out. That my dear is disgusting, not your invented propaganda.

    9. Casey Crawford

      Watch out, that first step off your high horse is a big one. Hope you fall and land face first in horse shit, ignorant asshole!

    10. Adrienne Ciaburri

      You’re being facetious, right..? You’re making fun of this ridiculous, nonsensical, hateful, tunnel-visioned, mean-spirited, arrogant, hollow-hearted, ignorant and blasphemous group of people… Right?! Answer me, please, but first answer to your god, whoever she may be. May Your God have mercy when you are found lacking a soul. “Love thy neighbor” is a Commandment from God. “Eat a bag of dicks” is a Commandment from Me. You make life harder for those who are not exactly like yourself… Does that make you feel better about yourself?

  12. Amanda

    This is the kind of garbage that gives true followers of Jesus Christ a bad rap! Jesus taught to love and serve one another, not to stereotype and judge your fellow man. If you want to be a witness for Christ have a conversation with the person, don’t leave a impersonal piece of paper. And regardless of whether or not the server is receptive, if you mention Jesus you better be CERTAIN to leave an amazing tip, because that’s what’s gonna be the biggest witness.

    1. Em

      Not even Christian, so I don’t know much about Christian ideals..but I really respect your idea of what it means to respect what little I know about Christianity, which is to not look down on people and assume their job suddenly makes them a drug addict or some other BS label of the like, and be kind and generous to others, even more so to someone who works as hard as a waitress. Or you know, without children to feed or tuition/loans to pay. That’s just so ignorant, and lately I’ve seen a lot of media putting Christians in a bad light, which is a shame since there are people like you that are better than to judge someone by their job..

  13. Joy

    Yeah, Disciples is a troll site. Unfortunately there are always fuckwits who are happy to be assholes in the name of Jesus or in the anti-obama crusade. Shitty Jesus-themed fake money has been around for ages, but now it has websites.

  14. duzi

    Servers could keep a little wicker basket and pass it around the table that always leaves these. Maybe the “righteous customers would understand then that fake money doesn’t count. Maye. Maybe not.

  15. Bridget

    Someone needs to point out to these cray-cray bible thumpers that even lame ass no life servers need to tithe, so when they leave a $0 tip, 10% of $0 is….. $0. So these self righteous freaks are not only defrauding the laborer of the justly earned wages ( one of the 7 sins that cries to heaven for vengeance), they are also cheating God Himself. Pompous self righteous arrogant losers.

  16. Sarah

    What? Waitresses are only drug addicts and criminals?? That is such a blanket,biased statement. You need to get a grip and find Jesus. He would never say that!!

  17. Nicole

    I’m pretty sure that fb page is satirical. I know those fliers are real, but I think the caption accompanying it (that says servers are criminals,etc) is meant to mock the flier.

  18. Nanci Robertson

    I have gotten two of these in my career. Guess they don’t hang out at taverns much. However, I did go check out their page…what a bunch of idiots! Pictures of their kids with guns, and talking about the “compound” they live in. Making the rest of us gun owning parents look like unfit parents.I am hoping some government agency is looking at them…LOL

  19. kat szulga

    Ha ha ha… oh, I am so calling smoking a joint getting “hella weeded” now. Who knows? Might make me feel better when I really am in the weeds.

  20. Henry

    Perhaps you can act sincere if you catch them in the act, and feign interest in attending their church (or pay some homeless guys $10 each to go for you). Once you locate the church, round up all your drug-addicted, ex-felon waiter friends that received these notes and place them in their collection plate, and see how the church likes it! The church would probably really, really welcome the opportunity to seat some smelly homeless with mental problems that don’t have a dime to their names, so I hope you send in the ringers. And make sure the homeless are of the sort that have OCD, carry their urine in jars and never can tell when they’ve wore out their welcome.

    1. Wiggins

      Applause Henry. Going to their church and putting it in the collection plate is genius. However, I’m not going to bore myself to tears for over an hour just to prove a point.


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