If Siri Was a Waitress
Thanks to Jimmy Kimmel, we now know what a shitty waitress Siri would make. I don’t have an iPhone, so I can’t speak personally about everybody’s favorite bitch, Siri, but …
October 8, 2014
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Year: 2014
October 8, 2014
This is What We DO NOT Want For a Tip
You want to know what your server wants for a tip? Money. Preferably cash money but if you want to put it on a credit card that’s fine too, we’ll …
October 7, 2014
The Most Epic Yelp Response Ever!
There’s a big story out there on the Internet and it involves Yelp, a restaurant in Kansas City, Missouri called Voltaire and a disgruntled customer by the name of Sonal. …
October 6, 2014
Don’t Touch Your Server, People
This is what I want to do when one of my customers touches me at work.
October 5, 2014
Why Does Anyone Wear a Tie To Wait Tables?
I think it was Shakespeare who wrote this famous line about everyone’s favorite useless article of clothing, the neck tie: To wear, or not to wear, that is the question:Whether …
October 3, 2014
A Comment on Comments: Dan Responds Edition
Last week, I posted a list of “Dan’s Cardinal Sins” that someone had sent me. Being the bitch that I am, I took that list and responded to each and …
September 30, 2014
To That Barefoot Kid At Table 16
Dear Little Boy Who is Running Around the Restaurant in Bare Feet, Your mom is an idiot. If she even knows who your dad is, he is probably an idiot …
September 26, 2014
Two Stories. One Purse. (Get It Off the Floor!!)
Everyone knows that each story has two sides. So often, we only hear one side of the story but today is different. Today is the day that we will know …
September 25, 2014
Found: The Man You Never Want To Work For
Each day, my inbox is filled with hundreds and hundreds (okay, two or three, maybe) pictures and emails from people who want my opinion on some restaurant situation. A couple …
September 24, 2014