Everyone knows that each story has two sides. So often, we only hear one side of the story but today is different. Today is the day that we will know both sides of the story and that story is about a purse. A purse that happened to be placed on the floor of a restaurant and then had its picture taken. Is it wrong to lay a purse on the floor of a restaurant, possibly blocking the walkway and endangering a server? Is it wrong of the server to assume that the purse should be placed on a chair instead? Perhaps the purse has a good reason for being on the floor. There are two stories, one purse.
The customer’s version:
La di da, la di da. I’m so excited to be here at the Cracker Barrel. I haven’t been here in three days and I can feel that my arteries are starting to unclog a little bit, so that means it’s time for some fried chicken livers. Good lord, I’m hungry. At first I was planning on eating a salad but now that I’m here and I can smell the grease, my mind has been changed. Maybe I’ll get some fried chicken and some fried okra too but I need to make sure I save room for some of that double chocolate fudge Coca-Cola cake. It’s after breakfast, but I’m sure if I ask for a side of pancakes they will do it. The customers is always right, after all. I would have been here sooner but I had to get my hair cut this morning. I still have not found someone who can cut my hair to look like that adorable Kate Gosselin girl. I took this picture of her to the beauty salon but they just can’t seem to get it right.
Anyways, I met my friend Pam here and they tried to put us at a little rinky-dink table for two. I said, “Excuse me, but Pam’s ass is huge and we need a bigger table. I want that one,” and I pointed to a table for four. The waitress obliged because she knows that the customer is always right. So we’re sitting down and I can’t figure out where to put my purse. I love my purse. It’s big and red and I got it at Sam’s Club. It has about ten different compartments and a place for my pen and my checkbook and my lipsticks and my lady needs. Some people are surprised that you can get purses at Sam’s but I know that you can everything you need at Sam’s. I love this purse so much and when I bought it came with a free six-pack of paper towels and block of Velveeta. Anyways, I just didn’t know what to do with my purse. Pam put her purse on the empty chair next to her but that didn’t make no sense to me. People put their butts on those chairs and I love my purse too much to put it on a nasty ol’ Cracker Barrel chair, so I decide to put it on the floor next to the table. That way it’s easier for me to drop some of them cute little mini bottles of syrup into it. When our waitress comes up for me to tell her I want a sweet tea, she is so rude; she is straddling my purse with her legs and I saw her dirty ol’ shoes get within a couple of inches of it. I don’t appreciate that at all but I’m still gonna leave my purse there on the floor and if she thinks it’s in her way, then she’s just gonna have to deal with it. I always keep my prized possessions on the floor and that purse is my prized possession. Even at home I keep my purse on the floor. It’s right next to my Louie Buton shoes I got at Costco, my Coach wallet that I bought off of Ebay and my jewelry that I ordered off of QVC. The floor is the perfect place for valuables. Anyways, I can’t wait to get my fried chicken livers. Don’t you worry, arteries, y’all be clogged up again right quick. And yes, my purse is staying on the floor right where it is even if it does seem to be in the way of all these waitresses walking back and forth here. It’s their job to accommodate my needs and I need to have my purse on the gosh darn freakin’ floor. Now bring on the livers!
The server’s version:
Look at that dumb Kate Gosselin-wanna-be bitch with her cheap ugly ass purse laying in the floor right where I need to walk. I guess I’ll just have to spill water on it, kick it and then “accidentally” trip on it so I can scatter all her crap all over the mother fucking place.
Meaghan
Leave your duffel bag in the car your probably not even paying anyway
Meaghan
Where I work purses are not the problem 500# customers that stand in the aisle of our VERY small diner to talk to people they see six times a week it is the most frustrating thing ever
Anita
I always just walk right up and step in it. Than say “oh sorry, I didn’t see that.” This is said while balancing a tray that I pretend is about to fall right on HER. “Would you mind moving your BAG I would hate to accidentally spill on it.”
That done in the perfect balance of pretend concern for her bag while faking the fall usually has them jumping to move their SHIT and APOLOGIZING to me. If not, I pick it up and move it to a chair or hook while saying….oh, that was a close one let’s put your pretty bag over here where it’s safe.
Marc Neermann
Purses and the other other bain are strollers!!! I understand it you’re going to walking long distance but from the car to the booth in the restaurant? Why can’t you just use the carrier and put that on the seat next to you. I have to try not to spill or drop or trip over that thing that’s the size of a Hummer.
RMS
An acquaintance of mine used to be an Asst Mgr at a CPK in the Boston area, and they used to make up Fire Dept rules. Just a no-nonsense “Oh, don’t get us in trouble with the Fire Marshal, this strip here is a fire exit route, let me put that against the wall for you” in his most helpful eager voice. He learned how to fold up every brand of stroller ever made.
colleen
Ugh…I HATE when theres nowhere to put my purse (like last night..small table, rounded back chair so i couldnt hang it there..) and I HAVE to put it on the floor. But I put it UNDER the table…as far under as I can because 1)I dont want it to be in the way and 2)it wasnt cheap and I dont want it stepped on or anything accidentally spilled on it.
It really isnt rocket science
Linda
Hmmmm……Hope the last person that sat at that table did not accidently step in dog poop, because if they did she now has traces of dog poop on her beloved bag. And now, when she goes home and places her purse on her kitchen en counter, guess what’s on her counter?
Zack
To All, this is just my opinion.
Believe it or not, his behavior comes from the “Business Cards” (my pet name for the VP’s and others that run companies since they love their titles on their business cards) in charge of companies. Let me explain. I have been in the Biz for about 18 years and the way complaints used to be handled was that after a complaint was lodged someone would follow up with the manager on duty who would in turn follow up with the employee(s) involved and depending on all the variables, a solution was presented to the manager to carry out. It has now become that a complaint is lodged, a apology and comp is sent and then the restaurant team is notified how they were wrong. The general public realized very quickly that as long as they could complain loud enough and to enough people they would get their way regardless of how they acted or what they said to the employees. If the managers do not get back up from the regional they will not back up the employee and the employee cannot/will not make simple requests of guests.
Long winded yes, but I think valid reasoning.
Sasha
Why is the bag so fucking big? If you’re not carrying a baby with you, you don’t need to carry a bag the size of Snoopy’s doghouse from Peanuts.
Sasha
I thought I should note I love Peanuts. Time to dust off and watch the Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas specials.
Mangler
Even better is when the baby in the car seat is left on the floor next to the table. I don’t want to kick your child or worse spill something hot on it – but when you leave it out in the floor I Want to spill something hot on you.
Amber
“Don’t you worry, arteries, y’all be clogged up again right quick.”
Hahaha!!!
Christina
It also sucks, though, when they are sitting at the bar and decide their purse now needs its own bar stool. So one person takes up two seats at the bar (and probably leaves a shitty tip since they obviously don’t care about anyone but themselves) at the busiest time of night. God forbid the purse gets hung across the back of the stool or *gasp* on the hooks installed under the bar for just that very purpose!
RMS
Any place I go is low-class enough that we would ask Ms Don’t-care-about-anyone “are you saving this for someone?” and just stare until she moved it. It took me years to perfect my icy-polite voice but it’s like a superpower now.
Lynn
Then when she goes home that purse probably gets put on the kitchen counter or table. Ick.
BobbyAnn
I see the Olive Garden chick has a Cracker Barrel loving twin?
I can’t get over people who think leaving their purse on the floor is in anyway a good idea? It’s just gross. And then you have your hands all over it. ::shudder::
These are the same tools that if there isn’t a hook in the bathroom will put it on the floor in there.
If and when I carry a purse it goes on the table by me and heaven forbid I have to use a public restroom, it stays on my shoulder or with one of the family.
Ruff
That’s just nasty. There’s an empty chair next to her!
Renee
Haha I read that entire thing with a redneck accent in my head. You are in NY, yes? How many people from the Carolinas do you deal with, out of curiosity? I’m in FL, we get a lot, and the woman you are talking about in this post is definitely from one of the Carolinas 🙂
The Bitchy Waiter
I’m from Texas, so in my head, she had a Texas accent.
Shelley
I’m from the Carolinas and I see stupid bitches like this all the time in my restaurant. I thought about moving but I guess they’re everywhere. :-/
mike hayes
Bitchy; I thought this might be a real customer giving their side, but you do a much better job. Once again, I’m laughing out loud and nodding my head, saying amen. Keep up the great work. You brighten my day with your blogs.