This Mother Does Not Want You to Ask Her Kids a Certain Question

Would you like fries with that?

Would you like fries with that?

I just love it when someone writes an article about a server in a restaurant because it always gives me an opportunity to respond to it. So often, the writer comes across as entitled and annoying and this case is no exception. In an article called “What Restaurant Servers Should NEVER Ask My Kids,” a mom complains about her dining experience at a kid-friendly restaurant. I knew I was going to hate the article when I read this part of a sentence in the second paragraph: “When the server finally came to take our dinner order…” Right away, she is establishing that the service was not up to her time standards. With no other indication of her dissatisfaction, she uses the word “finally” to make sure that all readers know she thought it took too damn long for the waiter to get to her table. Her two kids each ordered spaghetti which came with a side. The server simply asked, “Are fries okay with that?”

Just so you know, that is the question you should never ask her kids. I repeat: Do not. Ask her kids. If they. Want. Fries. I pity the poor cashier at McDonald’s the next time one of those kids orders a cheeseburger off the 99₵ menu.

She told the server that it would not be okay, because they were already going to be having french fries as an appetizer and she wanted to know what other options were available. The server informed her that they could choose between Caesar salad or mixed greens, applesauce, carrots and ranch dressing, sliced apples with yogurt dip, steamed veggies, or grilled veggies. She wanted to know why the server thought it was alright to suggest fries with pasta because “who in their right mind eats fries with spaghetti anyhow?”

I dunno who eats fries with spaghetti but it might be the same people who eat fries as an appetizer. I guess she was angry because she felt the server was pushing a non-healthy dinner choice onto her kids that would go with their non-healthy appetizer choice. Maybe the server didn’t feel like reiterating all seven option when in all likelihood they were printed in the menu. Her kids chose a salad (probably smothered in some kind of creamy dressing full of partially hydrogenated oil) and applesauce (probably full of sugar and preservatives) and they lived happily ever after. She says they were fine with their choices “but for a minute there it could have easily went south, no thanks to our server.”

The reason I take issue with this article is because the mother seems to be blaming the server. She wants him to read her mind (hint: it’s a quick read, much like a paperback you buy at the grocery store to read at the beach. It’s got no substance and once you read it, you forget it). Some parents don’t like when we ask them what their child would like.

“Well, my son’s right there, why don’t you ask him?”

“Because I thought that maybe you would like to make his decisions for him since your son looks to be about four fucking years old and he currently has a Crayon stuck up his nose, you asshole.”

Don’t blame the server for offering the one item that probably 99% of the kids choose anyway. It’s not the responsibility of the server to help you figure out what you want your kids to eat. It is his responsibility to alert you to the available options but you need to take some initiative and read the menu too. The mother says that her husband “half-jokingly” told her to get over it but my bet is that there was no half-joking happening. He was serious.

“Honey, get the fuck over it. He offered fries, you said no and now they’re eating fucking salad and applesauce. Just eat your 4-Cheese Mac and Cheese with Honey Pepper Chicken Tenders and shut the fuck up. God, you’re annoying. Everybody hate you, you know that, right? No wonder the kids never want to spend any time with you. And you’re probably going to go home and write an article about this aren’t you? Don’t even deny it. I can see you taking mental notes so you can go home and whine about how terribly you’ve been treated. Again. He just asked if they wanted fries. Who cares?”

I suppose it can be said that the mother overreacted a bit by taking one little question and then writing an article about it, but then again the same could be said of me. I am a professional at making mountains out of molehills and I just turned a whiny Mommy Article into a Bitchy Waiter blog post. Tat for tat. And would you like fries with that?

You can go read the original article here. If you go there and leave a comment, tell them The Bitchy Waiter said hello.


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