Customer Expects Waitress to Clean Up Puke


Curt is an asshole

Thank you to my friend Fran for sending me this ridiculous screenshot of a Facebook status that some entitled parent named Curt wrote. I guess the parent took their kid out for a fancy meal at their local IHOP and when the kid realized that the “fancy” meal was happening at IHOP, it threw up all over the fucking place. When the waitress and manager both told Curt that he needed to clean up the vomit himself, he didn’t like it. He promptly went home and did what all assholes do in a situation like that: he wrote on IHOP’s Facebook wall! I went to the IHOP Facebook wall to try to find the original post, but it seems to have been taken down. However, their wall is full of stupid ass complaints and if you need to kill some time, just go read it. (If you’re reading this blog, you clearly have nothing else to do with your time…)

Anyhoo, Curt got his panties in a twist and wants everyone to boycott this particular IHOP for making him clean up his own child’s puke. He also plans on calling the Better Business Bureau about it because they really care about shit like this.

“Thank you for calling the Better Business Bureau. If you know your party’s extension, please enter it now. If you would like to file a complaint, please press 1. If you would like to hear general information about the Better Business Bureau, please press 2. If an IHOP waitress made you clean up puke that came from your own child, please press 3.”

In  addition to the horror of having to clean up the puke, the hash browns were burnt. Life just gets shittier and shittier for poor Curt, doesn’t it? What kind of parent lets their kid throw up all over the place at an IHOP and then gets pissed off when nobody wants to clean it up? It’s vomit, Curt and it belongs to your kid. Grab a roll of paper towels and start swabbing, asshole.

I walked into a subway car on the 6 train last week and immediately spotted a puddle of puke slip sliding its way across the floor. Happy that it wasn’t my own, I turned around and went into the next car. Two stops later, the conductor made an announcement that the train was being delayed as they attended to some “infectious waste” in car #7231. Curt, if the MTA of NYC calls it “infectious waste” and will stop a packed subway car to deal with it, why do you think a waitress making $2.13 an hour is going to deal with it?

So maybe it wasn’t best idea for the waitress to laugh in Curt’s face, but it was probably pretty funny to see a Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity plate covered in chunks of fresh kid vom. I went to the Yelp page of this particular IHOP and they only have two reviews and 3 1/2 stars. This must change. We all need to go to their Yelp page and say thank you to that manager who did not make the waitress clean up the vomit. We all know how miserable it would have been to clean that mess up. The waitress is already working at IHOP, isn’t that punishment enough? Must she also endure the cleaning up of infectious waste? Click here to go to their page and leave a review for them. Let’s see if we can change that paltry rating and make them get five stars.

As for Curt, I wonder how the rest of his day went. I imagine that after leaving IHOP, he headed on over to the Wal-Mart to pick up some new tires for his pick-up truck and while he was there, Curt Jr. vommed all over aisle 12. Curt went looking for someone in a blue vest to clean it up but could find no one except for the greeter at the front door who was about 75 years old and possibly mentally handicapped.

“Hey, clean up in aisle 12, old man. My kid just puked again.”

“Welcome to Wal-Mart. Have a nice day,” says the greeter.

“Yeah, my kid puked again. He done puked at IHOP this mornin’ and now he puked here and as soon as we leave I’m gonna take him over to the Arby’s so he can puke there too. Can you go clean that up?”

“Welcome to Wal-Mart. Have a nice day.”

“You suck, old man.”

“Welcome to Wal-Mart. Have a nice day.”

“That’s it! I’m calling the Better Business Bureau about you.”

“Welcome to Wal-Mart. Have a nice day.”

Curt’s day was probably full of puke and disappointment just like his wedding night. Good luck, Curt. I hope things get better, but try to remember that servers are there to take your order, bring your food and make sure your dining experience is a good one. They are not there to clean up your kid’s vomit or any other bodily functions, so the next time you go out to eat, make sure you have already pooped, puked and blown your nose. Those are your responsibilities and not your server’s. Asshole.


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26 thoughts on “Customer Expects Waitress to Clean Up Puke

  1. Alisandra

    I work as a bartender/waitress in a UK pub chain and I’ve lost count of the times I’ve had to clean up adult sick. One woman drank half a pint of lager, paused to projectile vomit all over the table and plates in front of her, then drink the other half and leave. I make minimum wage and should NOT have to clean up shit like that, but it’s an unspoken part of my job (contract says “cleaning + maintenance”…) and 100% of the time the felon will either leave, is too intoxicated to help, or just stand there and apologize a couple times as I squick up the contents of their stomach.

  2. B chin

    One of my earliest childhood memories was being part of a food poisoning breakout caused by the local Sonic Drive-in, the one that had servers on roller skates.

    I don’t remember Sonic sending over a representative to clean up the vomit that they caused.

  3. B chin

    Who should clean it up depends in no small part on whether it was IHOP’s food that caused the vomiting.

    1. Kaos

      It is unlikely that any food is going to cause immediate vomiting. The kid was already going to puke… that one french fry was just the proverbial straw.

  4. kimmellee

    As a mom I would clean my child’s puke. But it would be really nice if the server handed me the napkins or had the stuff Shaw’s had when I worked there to clean up liquids. Once a lady dropped a glass container of maple syrup. The powder cleaned it right up. Another time someone dropped a six pack of glass beer bottles. That shit worked like a charm! I want some for my house! Every public place, especially resteraunts should have it.

  5. Brandy

    I don’t work in the service industry but if my kid puked (imaginary kid since I don’t have any) I would at least have the decency to clean it up. In fact I would be so damn embarrassed if it was carpet I’d ask for carpet cleaner and scrub that bitch up. Because that is the right thing to do. It’s not any server or managers job to clean up puke from someone else. My point of view: I don’t know what your nasty ass kid has and I damn sure ain’t touch anything that projectiles out of it. Yes, I just called your kid an it. And no, I’m not sorry. Guess it’s a good thing I’m not in the service industry.

  6. Sally

    OMG. I love the public shaming.

    And I hope to god that this man can’t show his face in any restaurant ever.

  7. melissa in houston

    Yeah this is a bio hazard. Waitstaff or anyone not trained in hazardous waist training should never have to clean up bio waist. The father was insane to think the employees should have cleaned this hazardous waiste
    If the employee did clean it and perhaps feel ill from doing so the employer would be liable
    This resulting in lawsuits and workers comp. Thank good for employees rights.

    The father of the child is a real piece of work. Some education would do him good.

  8. soozycue

    More recently, this is more a hazard. Restaurants should have bio-hazard kits to clean up bodily fluids. The restaurants I have worked at do. The thing is, who knows if this kid has HIV/AIDS, or any communicable disease. If so, by cleaning this kid’s puke, the result could be a bio-hazard to everyone in the restaurant. This is much more serious than just, “I don’t want to clean up your child’s puke”. The BBB would not, COULD NOT, take this complaint seriously.

  9. Miss Merlot

    Just thinking about this some more, and I think the most important thing here is not obligation, but compassion towards a clearly poorly person (not thinking so much toddlers here, who puke at the drop of a hat, but more sober adults). I am a total vom-phobic, but six months back found myself looking after and cleaning up after a colleague who – through no fault of their own – was sick in the work toilets. Figured she was feeling emotionally and physically bad enough at that point, without having to clean up the evidence… Not quite the same thing, I know, but I would be one million times more mortified if, having done that in public, I would be doubly shamed by being handed a mop and pan…

  10. Miss Merlot

    A bit torn on this one….

    I wouldn’t expect a server to clean it up for me, but would I necessarily expect as a (presumably very sick, or parent of a very sick) customer to be obliged to clean it up myself….? Excepting multiple pukes and drunk cases that is…

    Luckily have never yet puked in public – would be utterly mortified if I did!

    1. melissa in houston

      Yes you expect the parent to clean it up. The way society is heading whats next? Will we then be expected to clean shit and piss up right at the table too? We all have heard about the potty training mother of the year by now. She just had her kids at the table pants down doing their business in front of everyone
      So yeah the parent cleans it up.

      Geez, it wont be long untill people are leaving their rancid used tampoons on the table next to the dirty diaper for us to pick up.

      Waiters unite! Just say no to cleaning up peoples body juices!

    2. Kaos

      Of *course* you clean it up! Your kid’s or your own…no matter *how* sick they/you are, it is your responsibility.

  11. Tipsykit

    When I used to work at a Perkins our policy on puke was we would clean it up…for $50. If the customer wouldn’t pay it, customer cleaned it themselves or cops got called. (This was usually drunk guys, not sick kids, but still)

  12. catherine

    I went out for breakfast with my daughter when she was five. We ordered breakfast and she said she didn’t feel well. I didn’t take her seriously, I thought she was just hungry and she would feel better after she ate. She promptly puked all over the table. Great. The waitress came over and I apologized and asked for some rags to clean it up and to cancel our order. She insisted on cleaning it up, not to worry and just take my daughter home, who was looking absolutely miserable and mortified. I left her what I was going to pay for the breakfast and tip because who needs to clean up puke? She must have been a mom too. Best waitress ever.

  13. Emma

    I work at another diner chain (which I won’t name), located in a very nice suburb (I make better tips than people i know at “nicer” places), but once had a kid puke all over the floor, and then rather than take him to the bathroom, his father let him puke all over the floor twice more. I was the only server on, with about 5 or 6 other tables. I would have puked if I had been the one to clean up, and I had other tables to deal with. One of the cooks, who shift was just ending, saw what was happening, and grabbed a mop to help me out. This father then had the nerve to ask my manager for ANOTHER kids meal because “he didn’t enjoy that one”. HA HA HA, my manager pretty much laughed in his face.

  14. Chris

    I just spent way too much time reading the postings on the IHOP page. But it was entertaining. The folks that eat at IHOP seem to be a pretty miserable bunch. I’m just not sure who I empathize with more, the poor servers that have to work there or the poor person that has to respond to the posting with “We’re sorry to hear…” or “Thanks for reaching out to us….”

  15. anne marie in philly

    da noive o some people! (said in my best brooklyn accent)

    curt needs to man up; perhaps he doesn’t have the cojones to do this.


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