This Might Be The Most Clueless Customer Ever to Eat At Olive Garden

dumbassEating out is hard, y’all. There are so many questions and rules to remember when you dine in a restaurant and no place is more confusing than eating at Olive Garden. While perusing the Olive Garden Facebook page, I came across a customer who had one of those very difficult moments in life when you just don’t know where to turn to. It seems that David went out to eat at Olive Garden and, by some atrocious human error, someone forgot to bring out his child’s second side dish. David did now know what to do. Now I wasn’t there, but I can only imagine how this went down:

Kid: Daddy, I didn’t get my spaghetti.
David: Oh. My. God.
Kid: Daddy, I want my spaghetti, I’m hungry.
David: Sweet Jesus. The spaghetti didn’t make it to the table, now what are we gonna do?
Mom: Oh. My. God. Our baby’s gonna starve to death. What should we do?
David: I guess I could give him a bite of my Baked Parmesan Shrimp, but isn’t he allergic to shellfish?
Mom: He is allergic, but what choice do we have? The waitress forgot to bring the spaghetti. My God, this is inhumane!
David: If only there was some way to get that spaghetti. Like, if there was a person who would come over to our table and ask us if we needed anything, but we’re in a restaurant. Does that even happen here? I dunno.
Kid: Daddy, there’s the waitress, why don’t you ask her to go get it?
Mom: Shut up, son! We are trying to figure out what to do and all your chit chat is distracting us.
David: Here, my child, eat this shrimp. It might make your lips swell and close up your throat, but we have no choice. Your spaghetti didn’t come to the table! My GOD!
Mom: I’m Googling what to do, but I can’t find an answer. What are we supposed to do when the waitress doesn’t bring all of our food? This is America! Why is it so hard?
Kid: Umm, that shrimp was good, but my eyes hurt. And my lips are tingling. I can’t feel my tongue. Is this real life?
Mom: Help! Help!!! My baby didn’t get his spaghetti and now we are forced to feed him poison! Help us, somebody!!
David: Here just eat some more shrimp, son, until I can go to the Olive Garden Facebook page for help. Facebook has all the answers. Son? Son? Wake up, son. Wake up. You need to eat some more shrimp. Son?
Mom: Oh, my Five Cheese Ziti al Forno is delicious.

Oh, David. Just ask your fucking server to go get the side dish. And if it was a to-go order, you call the restaurant and tell them what happened and they comp you a fucking piece of cheesecake next time. It ain’t fucking brain surgery.

5 thoughts on “This Might Be The Most Clueless Customer Ever to Eat At Olive Garden

  1. Emma

    ‘It ain’t fuckin brain surgery.’

    Bless you a thousand times over Bitchy.
    Sometimes your posts are the only thing that get me through after a 13 hour day. Don’t change a thing.

  2. Mary

    At first I thought “this can’t be for real” there Can’t be someone,anyone,or a person who is that (dare I say it) oh yes I must–stupid.
    Bitchy, I am your 60 year old granny fan. Love You.

  3. Sarally C

    Me: (gives customer their check)
    Customer: Can I make you a question?
    Inner me: You just did (stupid joke)
    Me: Yes, how can I help you?
    Customer: The other day I made a “TO-GO” order and I did not get my taco, my chips and my salsa… can I get a discount for this?
    Me: Give me a moment sir, I will verify your request (goes to check if there is any claim about a “to-go” taco or if anyone knows about their situation, so I can be sure is true and not a trick like others like to do to get food for free and found NOTHING”)
    Me to the customer: I have not found any claim about an incomplete “to-go” order. Sir, did you called back to the restaurant to notify it when you found out about it, because no one sees to remember?
    Customer: No, I did not.
    Me: I’m sorry sir, I cannot give you then the discount, but I can bring you another basket of chips and more salsa and I can give you a togo box and a to-go cup for them so you can take them home with you. But, if its happens again, that a to-go order is incomplete, make sure to call back and we will write down what it is, under your name and we will make sure that you get your discount or free food.

    $2.00 tips …

  4. Mellie Mel

    Are you sure they didn’t post this after they got home and realized they didn’t get what was coming to them? Not that that isn’t stupid too but not quite as ridiculous as the scenario you’re painting. My assumption was they wanted a comp or coupon or something.


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