Category: restaurant

Just Pay the Damn Check

You know, I don’t give a shit who pays for the fucking check. It does not matter to me (or any other waiter) who paid last, who owes whom, who’s …

Babies suck

So many mothers have this sense of fucking entitlement like she is the first woman to ever push a baby out of her Sweet Potato Pie Hole. It’s been happening …

Do waiters really spit in food?

Yes, Virginia, waiters really do spit in food. But you have to be a really bad little girl to have that happen to you, so most people are okay. I …

Read the menu, asswipe

Sometimes people think that when they come into the restaurant they are in their own kitchen and I am their personal chef for the day. No bitch, that is not …

Diet Coke or Diet Pepsi…who cares?

This lady sat in my booth yesterday and ordered a Diet Pepsi. I told her “oh we only have Diet Coke, is that okay?” thinking that of course it would …

What is that smell??

Have you ever been in a restaurant enjoying the company of good friends and savoring the taste of food that was made just for you when you are suddenly overcome …