Don’t Be Like David

I have never participated in dating apps because I’ve been married for almost thirty years. When I was dating back in the mid to late 80s, we had this thing called personal ads in the newspaper and you had to literally read the ad, write a letter, put a stamp on it and then see if they ever wrote back to you.  My most memorable date was when the guy showed up to my apartment wearing acid washed jeans and jacket along with white leather fringe cowboy boots and he took me to Taco Bell, but that’s another blog post. These days, you have to create the perfect profile picture along with a carefully crafted bio and then let people swipe left or right based on a split second decision. If your profile says that you are a server/bartender, that shouldn’t determine whether you’re dateable or not. In the case of Tara, she was told by David, a complete and random starter, that it did make a difference:

While you are drop dead gorgeous a bsrtender [sic]/server drops you to an 8-9. You wanna be a 10 you’re gonna have to step up your game. There are women out there as gorgeous as you sporting engineering degrees and JDs. Just sayin’. But I would still date you.

So I wanna just understand David’s thought process. He’s aimlessly swiping left or right trying to decide if she should either find a date or just spend yet another evening with a bottle of lube, a glass of cheap whiskey and PornHub. Tara’s profile shows up on his screen and even though he finds her attractive enough to date, he still feels the need to disparage her occupation. He doesn’t bother to tell Tara what his occupation is and he doesn’t even feel it necessary to check for any spelling errors. He just sends the message because he’s a man and surely a pretty blond woman like Tara would welcome the helpful feedback, right?

Wrong. Tara wrote him write back:

Wow, now I see COMPLETELY WHY you are 56 years old and single. Having the audacity to say that someone’s occupation defines their value makes it 100% OBVIOUS what a disgusting human being you are. “But you would still date me,” huh?!? Well guess what, I wouldn’t date you, or that mega mole on the side of your OVER INFLATED HEAD!!!!! It’s sad, really; you’re old enough to be my dad and yet you have the mental capacity of a six year old. I could shovel 💩 for a living and would still be a better person than your sorry self. Having a degree don’t make anyone better than anyone else!!! Again, you’re disgusting! 😘

I couldn’t have said it better myself, Tara.

If someone is reading this who is considering what their online dating profile should say, please know that you can put whatever you want. Anyone who judges you for your profession doesn’t deserve to be with you, okay? Maybe people are more apt to swipe a certain way if you say you’re doctor or an attorney, but if seeing that you work in food service makes hem swipe away, you dodged a bullet with that one. Don’t be a David. Be a Tara.

4/19/20 EDIT: A few people have reached out to me to say that David is married. And then someone who claims to be his wife commented wanting to know more information. All i know is what i wrote. I wasn’t trying to dissolve a marriage here. I was just calling someone out for trying to make a server feel bad about being a server. I have removed the larger photo of him, but will leave his original post along with his small profile photo. Damn, this got messy…

13 thoughts on “Don’t Be Like David

  1. K

    Omg Kim! I just saw this! You did mention this to me briefly but now that I actually see this, I am so disgusted. David is actually 49 years old and he is abusive to his wife. He is a narcissist, control freak, and a cheat. Unfortunately, Kim will never leave him. It’s a sad and painful situation to witness, but I worry mostly for her young children. This is appalling!

  2. Will

    I’m just here to say pornhub, cheap whiskey, and lube sounds like a great night in, even if alone. Some people really enjoy their own company. I enjoy Black Velvet occasionally, and it’s $14 a handle.. There’s nothing wrong with being single, celibate, or “sell-a-bit and give a bit away.” 😉 I think people can be perfectly happy and fulfilled without committed romantic love. Some are better off. That scumbag should probably die in a hole covered in biting horse flies, tho.

  3. jp

    So– David is a married cheater who stealth-surfs dating sites while making moral/ethical/personal judgments about the “worth” of a person like Tara because she makes her living tending bar.

    I think Tara wins this round, David is fucked in the head, and his wife should be looking for a good divorce lawyer. Oh, and Bitchy Waiter rules!

    1. Holly

      If this is the David we think it is (I’m good friends with his wife), he is actually a high level engineer at GE and he’s very intelligent (the intelligent type that has no common sense and awkward social skills) and does make good money. He’s also a very broken man, I’ve heard and seen the stuff his wife has gone through with this man. Although he’s broken, he won’t admit it so change doesn’t seem likely. Many of his wife’s friends have suggested she leave him, but doesn’t look like that will ever happen. He’s definitely a narcissist and has huge codependency issues. All we can do is pray for this couple and their children.

    1. The Bitchy Waiter Post author

      Hi there. I’m so sorry. I had no idea he was married and was just focusing on the way he judged someone’s attractiveness based on their job. I really don’t have any more information than what i wrote. A server (Tara) sent me the screenshots and that’s all i know. I’m so sorry.

  4. anne marie

    sweet jesus, that dude is HIDEOUS! and shallow. and ignorant. no wonder he’s single.

    and he lives in SC; probably likes donald dump and doesn’t wear a mask and is probably COVID-19+ but doesn’t know it yet.

    he better stock up on more lube and cum rags.


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