I have never participated in dating apps because I’ve been married for almost thirty years. When I was dating back in the mid to late 80s, we had this thing called personal ads in the newspaper and you had to literally read the ad, write a letter, put a stamp on it and then see if they ever wrote back to you. My most memorable date was when the guy showed up to my apartment wearing acid washed jeans and jacket along with white leather fringe cowboy boots and he took me to Taco Bell, but that’s another blog post. These days, you have to create the perfect profile picture along with a carefully crafted bio and then let people swipe left or right based on a split second decision. If your profile says that you are a server/bartender, that shouldn’t determine whether you’re dateable or not. In the case of Tara, she was told by David, a complete and random starter, that it did make a difference:
While you are drop dead gorgeous a bsrtender [sic]/server drops you to an 8-9. You wanna be a 10 you’re gonna have to step up your game. There are women out there as gorgeous as you sporting engineering degrees and JDs. Just sayin’. But I would still date you.
So I wanna just understand David’s thought process. He’s aimlessly swiping left or right trying to decide if she should either find a date or just spend yet another evening with a bottle of lube, a glass of cheap whiskey and PornHub. Tara’s profile shows up on his screen and even though he finds her attractive enough to date, he still feels the need to disparage her occupation. He doesn’t bother to tell Tara what his occupation is and he doesn’t even feel it necessary to check for any spelling errors. He just sends the message because he’s a man and surely a pretty blond woman like Tara would welcome the helpful feedback, right?
Wrong. Tara wrote him write back:
Wow, now I see COMPLETELY WHY you are 56 years old and single. Having the audacity to say that someone’s occupation defines their value makes it 100% OBVIOUS what a disgusting human being you are. “But you would still date me,” huh?!? Well guess what, I wouldn’t date you, or that mega mole on the side of your OVER INFLATED HEAD!!!!! It’s sad, really; you’re old enough to be my dad and yet you have the mental capacity of a six year old. I could shovel 💩 for a living and would still be a better person than your sorry self. Having a degree don’t make anyone better than anyone else!!! Again, you’re disgusting! 😘”
I couldn’t have said it better myself, Tara.
If someone is reading this who is considering what their online dating profile should say, please know that you can put whatever you want. Anyone who judges you for your profession doesn’t deserve to be with you, okay? Maybe people are more apt to swipe a certain way if you say you’re doctor or an attorney, but if seeing that you work in food service makes hem swipe away, you dodged a bullet with that one. Don’t be a David. Be a Tara.
4/19/20 EDIT: A few people have reached out to me to say that David is married. And then someone who claims to be his wife commented wanting to know more information. All i know is what i wrote. I wasn’t trying to dissolve a marriage here. I was just calling someone out for trying to make a server feel bad about being a server. I have removed the larger photo of him, but will leave his original post along with his small profile photo. Damn, this got messy…