Pumpkin Spice is Now a Law and No One Knows About It

With autumn officially several days old, there is a new law that goes into effect on October 1, that many restaurants do not know about it and it could end up costing them money. Earlier this year, congress passed a new measure: House Bill 1001- Autumnal Gourd Spices:

A BILL to be entitled an Act to amend Part 74 of Article 2 of Chapter 17 of Title 5 of the Official Code of the United States of America Annotated, relating to autumnal gourds, most common of which to be pumpkin, and the spices that shall accompany such gourds. Effective 10/01/17, it will be required that every restaurant that serves food from a full kitchen has at least 8.8% of the menu reflecting “pumpkin spice” for the duration of the months of October and November. Failure to do so could result in fines with a maximum of $1500. Should a restaurant choose to be exempt from HB 1001, they will be required to file exemption form HB-1001/1.8 and submit said form by 9/15/17; to repeal conflicting laws; and for other purposes.

Essentially, the new measure will require every restaurant to have almost 10% of their menu be flavored with pumpkin spice. Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-UT) sponsored the bill and it passed overwhelmingly in February. Says Hatch, “People love pumpkin spice. I love pumpkin spice. And I realized that not enough restaurants are fully embracing this autumn tradition. I am proud to have sponsored this bill and I think the American people will thank me for it.”

Although the bill passed with ease, many restaurant operators are not happy with the new law, especially small business owners. Jack Osgood Lanterne, owner of Jack of Hearts Diner in Price, Utah is none too pleased with his senator. “I am the owner and cook at my place. My menu is small and now I have to come up with a way to make 10% of the menu with pumpkin spice? It’s not fair. I don’t even like pumpkin spice. And then I have to print new menus for October and November too? It’s an added expense and I don’t see how the government can make me do that. I might just ignore the law and take my chances with a fine.”

However, plenty of consumers are thrilled about the news. Price, Utah resident Sandy Bottom says, “I can’t wait to go a restaurant in October and know that I will have at least a few pumpkin spice choices. I honestly wish the law went further and required it year round, but I’ll take what I can get. I ate a pumpkin spiced bologna sandwich last week and it blew my mind and I’m wearing pumpkin spice perfume right now so I love the new law. God bless, Orrin Hatch.”

Again, the new law goes into effect on Sunday, October 1, 2017. Any restaurant that does not have at least 8.8% of their menu with pumpkin spice and failed to submit an exemption form, must be prepared to pay the $1500 fine. One government official who agreed to speak under the condition of anonymity admitted that the likelihood of any restaurant being fined is very slim. “Honestly, we don’t have the resources to send investigators to every restaurant in the country to check on pumpkin spice menus. If a restaurant chooses to ignore the law, no one will probably know.”

That being said, the government has set up a web page to report any restaurant that is failing to comply with the law. Customers are encouraged to submit violations by clicking here.

To read the whole measure in its entirety, click here.

10 thoughts on “Pumpkin Spice is Now a Law and No One Knows About It

  1. Mindy

    As a former Utahn (who never voted for Hatch) i can confirm this is totally something he would get behind. He hasn’t cared about his constituents in years.

  2. lalatj

    Erm – making a type of food compulsory for all restaurants?! That doesn’t make any sense! YOU SHALL SERVE A CERTAIN VEGETABLE OR FACE THE WRATH OF THE GOVERNMENT!!

  3. The Barbara Chandler!

    Is it true the New York queers have pumpkin fucking parties where they cut a hole or few in the gourd, prop it up on an ottoman, lay out a tarp and pump their dicks in and out of it?

    1. Nance

      You just described every Saturday night at my house, Barb! Saturday Night Funkin’ Pumpkins. You should look into it. It sounds like you need to get laid.

      1. The Barbara Chandler!

        How do you make it when they are out of season? Freeze them or something? That’d have to remind you of a guy that used too much freeze away wart remover on his pucker.

  4. Digger6

    Erm. I’m allergic to pumpkin spice. Can you go ask the chef if theres any in my mushroom soup. And no I dont care that its 10pm and he went home 4 hours ago. I trust that the 3 Mecican line cooks in the back really gave a shit to find out what goes into each and every dish….

  5. Tim

    Lol. Oh, that is funny. It’s about time they pass a law protecting college- aged girls and 40 something buisnes women in mind. Lol.

  6. miss kitty

    I saw an article recently on pumpkin spice pizza. Before that I had been a “shh, let people enjoy things” kind of person about pumpkin spice, but now I know my acceptance has allowed them to go too far. Dollops of pumpkin pie filling on top of the cheese! I’m going to have trouble just enjoying a standard chai latte after this.


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