Proof That Some People Will Do ANYTHING in a Restaurant

Working in restaurants, we have all seen customers doing something that they should 100%, definitely not be doing in a restaurant. Maybe you saw someone cutting their fingernails or perhaps you witnessed some children playing with Legos in the area right in front of the restrooms. Well, I thought I had seen it all until someone sent me this random photo of a person in his dining room who was spinning yarn. Yes, some lady brought in her spinning wheel and while she waited for her Caesar-extra chicken-sub Ranch-add bacon salad to be prepared, she took her sandals off and spun some freaking yarn. Who does that?

My first thought was why didn’t this woman go get some yarn at the Hobby Lobby? She was going to be at the mall anyway to get an ice cream cone from Chick-Fil-A and the Hobby Lobby is literally right next door. But then, I begin to question if this woman had a real purpose for spinning yarn in the middle of a restaurant. There must be a good reason, right?

I flashed back to 1976 when I was in third grade and I took a school trip to see a touring production of Rumplestiltskin.

(Synopsis of the fairy tale: The village miller told the king that his daughter could spin straw into gold and the king, being a greedy son of a bitch as most royalty is, demanded that the daughter be brought to his castle so he could benefit from her talent. “Here’s a roomful of straw, girl. Turn it into gold by morning or I’ll chop off your head,” he said. The girl knew it was impossible and that her father was a lying sack of shit, but in the night a little imp appeared and turned the straw into gold in exchange for the girl’s necklace. The next morning, the greedy ass king got a golden boner when he saw what had happened, so he gave her more straw to turn into gold and the imp again did her the favor, this time requesting her ring as payment. The next day the king gave her even more straw and when the girl asked the imp for help, he demanded that she give him her firstborn child as payment. “Well, I guess so,” she said. “I mean, it’s better than losing my head.” The next morning, the king was overjoyed and offered to marry her. Since she now hates her father for putting her in this situation in the first place and she figures she may as well get what can out of it, she agrees and becomes Queen. Nine months later, she has a baby and the imp arrives to claim his prize. No word on why he wants a newborn baby. I mean, really? What are babies good for, am I right? She begs him to let her keep the baby and says she will give him all of her wealth instead. He does not accept. Weird, since nine months ago he was good with a cheap ass necklace and a ring but now he’d rather have a baby instead of all the wealth of the kingdom. “I’ll let you keep the baby if you can guess my name in three tries,” he tells her. “I’ll be back tomorrow.” That night, she sends a servant out to spy on his little imp ass and that maid hears him singing a song about his name being Rumplestiltskin. So when he shows up the next morning, the Queen is all, “Umm is your name Tom, Dick or Rumplestiltskin? Boo yah!” The imp is so pissed off that he slams his foot into the ground creating a deep chasm that he falls into and is never seen again.)

Anyway, could this woman be a direct descendant of the Queen? Is spinning thread so ingrained in her DNA that she even does it while in a restaurant? Is she still trying to figure out how the imp turned the straw into gold for her great-great-great-great-great grandmother? And even more importantly, what the fuck are those jean shorts she’s wearing and why the hell didn’t the manager go up to her and say something like, “Ummm, bitch? Can you get the fuck out?”

If we look back in time, I bet the Queen did take her spinning wheel to restaurants. She was, after all, the miller’s daughter and came from humble beginnings. Maybe it reminded her of simpler times to leave the castle every now and then and go to Ye Olde Applebee’s Inn and spin some yarn with the local villagers as they waited for their Brew Pub Pretzels and Beer Cheese Dip. Surely this woman is a direct descendant of Rumplestiltskin’s queen. It’s the only way I can justify why in the hell a woman in 2017 would think it’s a good idea to take spinning wheel to a restaurant and spin some fucking yarn.

17 thoughts on “Proof That Some People Will Do ANYTHING in a Restaurant

  1. SEAP

    When waiting tables years ago, I had a customer change her kid’s shitty diaper ON THE DINING TABLE. During the dinner rush in front of other customers. And kindly left the diaper on the table for me to dispose of.

  2. Tina

    I’m here to defend the woman spinning yarn while waiting for her food. How many assholes take less than 2 seconds to jump on there fucking phones because they can’t survive without texting every 2 seconds. This world is a mess. No one would even think twice about anyone one there on their little robot machines. Glad I don’t own one, and never will! I’m surprised they even knew what a spinning wheel was.

  3. MB

    Oh, dear, you really didn’t know what you were getting into when you made fun of a fiber artist! To educate those surprised by the vitriolic responses: there is a very strong global community of knitters, crocheters, spinners, and weavers, many of whom are members of a site called Ravelry. As of last month, Ravelry had 7,000,000 members worldwide (see Wikipedia,
    Knitting, crocheting, spinning, and weaving in public is well supported among Ravelry members. There is some disagreement as to whether these projects should be kept small and unobtrusive, or if larger works (e.g. spinning or lap-sized weaving looms) are ok; also, whether it’s ok to work on projects in church, court, meetings, on trains, buses, planes, etc.
    Personally, I take my knitting everywhere. I find it’s better to do something productive while waiting than to play on my phone. It makes me more patient when there’s a line, or a delay, and I’m a much more pleasant customer.

    1. Elsewhere1010

      Both spinners and knitters can make the Punic Wars look like a gentle walk in the spring rain. The internecine warfare in one knitting group close to San Francisco has passed into legend…

  4. Dammit

    You all defending spinning lady are ridiculous. Certain things are meant to be done at home. A restaurant is a venue for people to eat a nice meal and enjoy one another’s company. People these days have no sense of decency. And no, I am not some old-ass lady; I’m a young woman who has waited tables for a few years.
    Bitchy Waiter, yes, those jean shorts are awful and should be burned.
    “JJ”, did you even read your comment before posting it? Hilarious. Please scoot your ass back to elementary school.

  5. Sue

    Take a pamprin and get the hell over yourself then open a book and educate yourself about how spinning wheels being hand made works of art and cost about a grand. Natural fibers such as lamb’s wool or angora or alpaca cozy a small fortune and Hobby Lobby sells cheap ass scratchy acrylic garbage. What she was doing was no freakin different than if Bob fucking Ross walked in and started painting. Fiber arts ARE a thing….and a bad day ass thing at that. Don’t hate, educate.

  6. Jj

    That fiber she’s spinning probably costs more than your week-end bender. Some of have taste in yarn and fiber art supplies. Hobby lobby, joannes and Wal-Mart sell garbage Acrylic. Does your bitch-ass wear acrylic? If you’re going to spend a month knitting a sweater, or a few days knuttingba scarf, you don’t want garbage.
    If you want to dress in Wal-Mart clothes made of acrylic that your choice but some of us have taste.
    Besides I guarantee you, you can’t afford her finished works.
    Judgy bitch.

  7. Rachael

    The ice cream comment was fat-shaming. The fact that you think spinning is for poor people is just stupid and funny. Do you KNOW what good wool costs these days, let alone silk, angora, or other luxury fibers? The cheap acrylic crap at Hobby Lobby isn’t worth the money for anyone who knows fiber.

    And yes, many people spin their own yarn. And yes, sure, do it at a restaurant. Why shouldn’t she? So she likes to spin. Good for her.

    I think you have more of a problem with her being fat and different from you than you do with the actual spinning. Shame on you.

  8. Erin

    Just last week these two drunk whores cut their leg on some mysterious sharp object and used napkins to wipe up theirs gross blood which is pouring out due to their bodies being full of frozen margaritas and sex on the beach, and kindly left the bloody napkins on the counter, right where people eat and for all to see. A co worker of mine said was also clipping her nails at the counter too so there’s that.

  9. David Cowling

    It was a better world when people dressed up to fly and had some sense of shame regarding their behavior.

  10. Donna

    Maybe she was meeting her fucking knitting/spinning group at the restaurant. Some people actually like to make their own fucking yarn instead of buying it at fucking Hobby Lobby. People bring school work, office work, knitting, books, and other things to restaurants, why can’t she bring her fucking wheel?

  11. Another Bitchy Server

    A dude whipped out a tin of shoe polish and polished his shoes in my restaurant. The smell was awful.

  12. Gette

    I’d at least tell her health code requires her to keep her shoes on. Parents love it when I get after their flip flop flingers in our restaurant.


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