10 Things to Think About Before You Take That Job as a Server


  1. Every article of clothing you wear to work will have at least one stain on it.
  2. Your hair will perpetually smell like food.
  3. You will never, ever again eat dinner at a normal time.
  4. You may develop a severe dislike of going out to eat with a large group of people.
  5. Your wallet will always have a disproportionate amount of single dollar bills.
  6. Anytime you walk into another restaurant you will instinctually wonder what it would be like to work there.
  7. You might always have cash in your pockets but no money in the bank.
  8. When you do go out to eat with a large group of people, everyone will expect you to figure out the check.
  9. You will say behind you” or “corner” at random times, like at the grocery store or walking down the sidewalk.
  10. You will finally understand why a 20% tip should be mandatory.

I wait tables and bitch about it on my blog, The Bitchy Waiter.

27 thoughts on “10 Things to Think About Before You Take That Job as a Server

  1. #18 Don’t expect people to be adults and tell you what they need, you MUST become a mind reader. I love when I walk past a table and ask “is everything ok?” And either I get no response or “uh… yeah.” And then 2 seconds later after I walk away they need something… DESPERATELY.

  2. #??? You’ll learn to cut people off mid conversation just so you can finally take their order because sometimes people come into a restaurant and think they’re in a coffee shop, camping at one of your 4 booths during dinner rush with a $20 tap.

  3. This is great advice and guest don’t realize what goes on in the BOH or the life of servers. They need to be educated.

  4. Regarding #10, only if you’re a good human being.. My sister-in-law was a server at a little tiny truck stop restaurant for about 10 years and she is the worst tipper I’ve ever met. My brother once literally left two dollars as our server’s tip on a $50 bill and she told him it was too much and took the two bucks, dug out a small pile of change from her purse, and dropped it on the table. My parents made up for them by leaving extra on our bill because they’re decent people, and my SIL was pissed when my mom told her when we all got back to our cars. The service wasn’t even bad (and even with bad service, you’d think someone who had spent TEN YEARS of her life doing that job would not only know better, but know how that feels and not want to subject other people to it).

  5. 16. You will never eat slowly again after years of shovelling food from the line in your mouth after 10 hours without food or a break.

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  7. I bump into my coffee table and apologize to it …Need I say more ?Then some blond bjatch goes on “yelp” and fucks w/me see it please …..she really did -attacking my age and my accent -cuz I’m not born here -it hurt me so much -I solemnly swear I never did what she said I did -Go see Marias Italian Kitchen Encino CA -They gave me a ”
    “Talk”. I did not blame anybody even tho I was so busy that day ….I had my clothes pulled -“miss -we r ready to order” and my pm mgr forgot to staff the store properly….I had no chance to even stop and ask for help…trust me ….I had a table so mean to me -mom ,dad and 2 kids :the woman was so nasty to me that her husband kept telling her -Leave that lady alone -You guys haven’t seen Encino customers -they are really a treat-trust me -I got stories & witnesses to them -I’m not making this up.I work 3 restaurant jobs -all of them I love -very grateful I have job -but ….that one day that person really got me ….It hurt me so much …I was sick (walked home 3.5 miles) crying & couldn’t eat for 3 days now .I hope she’s happy w/that …

  8. I also agree with all of these. In addition, you luckily get a ‘bonus’ workout (before consuming your shifter and plus some), quickly realizing how easy it may be to make bank and how easy it is to spend most of it before even leaving the premises, haha. Be prepared to stand/walk for the next 4-8+ hours without sitting down. Speaking of which, you become aware of the after-‘bonus’ workout soreness, starting with your feet, and will always appreciate receiving a foot massage more than the average person ever could!

  9. You will have a new respect for ANYONE in customer service.

    Drinking will become your new favorite pastime.

    You will oddly become attracted to greasy kitchen guys. (Nothing you can do about it)

    You will get used to eating cold food.

    I have been serving and bartending going on 10 years..best job i could ever have. But you have to love it to be good at it!

    As much as we bitch..we still wanna serve your stupid ass. #tiporgohome

  10. 14. You WILL have to cut people off. These people will NOT be happy.

    15. Sometimes people come into restaurants or bars and they are not looking to have a good time.

  11. All of this is dead on! It’s been a couple of years since I’ve waited a table, but every one of these still rings so true to me (and probably always will). I can’t wait to read your book, and wish you every success!

  12. #11-you realize that serving food is NOT easy or simple.
    #12-I am really, really bad at being a server and only lasted a month

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