When Basketball Players Attack

Well, that sucks.

Well, that sucks.

Being a server is not easy. We all know that. And if you have ever had the (dis)pleasure of working someplace that is always crowded with throngs of people milling about your workspace, you know how much more difficult it can be. Allow me to introduce you to the saddest waitress in all the land today. I don’t know her name but she works at the Verizon Center in Washington, DC. Last night she was just doing her job carrying some beers to customers as grown men in shorts chased a little orange ball around hardwood floors. Suddenly, a very tall man named Mason Plumlee ran up to her and knocked all of the beers off her tray spilling them all over the floor, the waitress and her customers. Supposedly, Mason was trying to keep the ball from going out of bounds, but it looks to me like his sole intent was to give the waitress the worst night of her life.

I mean look at that video. It’s like he thought, “hmmm, where the fuck is a waitress with a full tray of beer that I can knock the fuck over?” After he totally ruins her night, he throws his arms up in disgust like it was her fault for being in his way. Umm, Mason, you’re in her space; she’s not in yours. And then he just walks away like, “Yo, whatever.” That waitress was not happy, you can tell.

"God dammit!"

“God dammit!”

And what about those people who took a beer shower with? Here they are just trying to enjoy a Saturday night of watching men in shorts play with balls and now suddenly they smell like they rolled all around on the floor of a dive bar.

No word on whether or not the professional game player apologized to the waitress and no word on whether or not the waitress was all, “fuck this shit I’m outta here.” The real story in all of this are all the O-faces in the background of the top photo.

The guy in the center: “This is the best show in town and ain’t nuthin’ gonna slow me down when it comes time for this popcorny goodness.”

The guy in the Wizards jersey: “Awww, hell no!”

The guy in the cap: “Hey, pull my finger!”

The white-haired guy in top left corner: “Jesus, take the wheel.”

The dark-haired woman on the right: “At least it wasn’t my nachos.”

Good luck, Verizon Center waitress, whoever you are. I hope you made some damn good tips that night.

Discussion

  1. Jennifer C
  2. Julie
  3. Yarrgh
  4. BobbyAnn
  5. Sharon
  6. Emma
  7. Tamicski
  8. Ruby Dee Waitress
    • SlumSlut
  9. SlumSlut
  10. Melanie

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