A few days ago, I posted a couple of allergy related items onto the Bitchy Waiter Facebook page, one being a comic from the The New Yorker and the other a video clip from the TV show Inside Amy Schumer. The two posts stirred up lots of comments and feelings and combined, they were seen by over 100,000 people. Most people saw the humor and could laugh at it, while some people thought I had punched them right in their nut allergy faces. Regardless, now I get to comment on some of my favorite comments.
Let us begin with the comic strip. First off, I didn’t fucking draw it, I just put it on my Facebook page. I understand the difference between gluten-free and celiac. One of my best friends in the world (you can read about her here) was diagnosed as celiac almost ten years ago, so I get it. I even called Mary Ann about the post to make sure she knew I was just being funny and she had already seen the cartoon in the The New Yorker and cut it out and stuck it on her fridge. Mary Ann is cool like that.
Not everyone was so cool:
Brittany says: As someone who is gluten free, fuck off. If there was a food you ate that caused you to have severe stomach pain to the point you are unable to leave the couch and the toilet for three days, unable to eat or keep water down for that long, you would try to avoid it too. I pray to god your child develops a peanut allergy so everyone can tell you it’s a pain in the ass and they should just get over it. Wow, Brit Brit, angry much? I don’t know God personally, but I’m pretty sure He thinks you’re a bitch for praying to Him to give a child a peanut allergy.
Amber says: And, why should I have to avoid Italian restaurants because of my wheat allergy? If the restaurant wants my family to eat there, there needs to be wheat/gluten free food. Okay, Amber, every restaurant has a right to serve whatever they feel like serving. They don’t have a responsibility to create their menu to satisfy every single person in the world. Your argument fails. That’s like saying that if you feel like Mexican food (which is very easy to eat gluten-free, by the way) you should be able to get it where ever you go, even if you’re at an Indian restaurant. The truth is, it’s your responsibility to do a little research and figure out which places can accommodate your needs. How fucking entitled are you?
Kristin says: It was finally recognized more frequently in the past few years … If you do not want to deal with people’s food allergies you have no business working in a restaurant … Looking down on food allergies of any kind is ignorant … I hope each and everyone of you that think dealing with allergies is a pain in the ass either develop one or a loved one does !!!! I think Kristin and Brittany should band together and start their own little parade for people who wish bad things on others. Don’t they sound like fun? No server is going to intentionally ignore a food allergy, but it can be very challenging for us when a customer is allergic to almost every single thing that exists.
Carrie says: Two days ago, a customer needed “Wheat-free, gluten-free, soy-free, dairy-free.” That was a hard one — everything on the menu had at least one of the offending items. I’m vegan myself and willing to comb through a menu to help people, but geez. With all her restrictions, what are you left with, kale and air? I rest my case.
Melissa says: It’s mostly the people that say they’re gluten free but gluten does nothing to them. They’re just being dumb and think it’s gonna make them lose weight. The people who have the allergy are very nice most of the time. I couldn’t agree more. Mary Ann has told me that it’s the people who are doing the gluten-free thing as a fad diet that are making it difficult for people who really suffer from celiac. Mary Ann knows what questions to ask and most of the time she can look at a menu and figure out what is safe for her to eat and what isn’t. If you’re truly celiac, you would never go into a restaurant and simply say, “I’m gluten-free, so what can I eat?” Those are the people who haven’t educated themselves because they probably don’t really need to be gluten-free.
Adam says: My favorite was the woman who told me she was extremely allergic to gluten as she was eating a breadstick. In her hand, mouth chewing. I was like “ummm…” Exactly.
Moving on to this sketch about a nut allergy. It’s funny. We servers do our best to accommodate allergies, but if you are someone who could literally die if a nut comes within two feet of your plate, it can be a little nerve-wracking for us. I certainly don’t want to responsible for your death because I served you a Chinese Chicken Salad that had a leftover peanut hiding under a Mandarin orange wedge. The sketch is funny because all servers have seen this type of customer before.
Erin says: Ok, people. Chill out. The video is not about how “annoying” peanut allergies are. It’s about how annoying people are. We are all very aware that peanut allergies are real and dangerous. My nephew has a peanut allergy, yet I still found humor in the video. Thank you, Erin. Comedy is about finding the lighter side of everything and figuring out a way to laugh at it.
Leo says: I love people that come into a sushi bar and say they’re deathly allergic to shellfish…. Guess what there was probably shellfish on that cutting board at one point during the night… Do the best to accommodate everyone but why would you even go into a seafood place? As I said before, it’s the customers’ responsibility to make sure they are going someplace that will be able to accommodate them. Being allergic to shellfish and then going to a sushi place is just asking for trouble with a capital “you’re fucked.”
Ashton says: I had a lady send back a Bahama mama and wanted it remade because it was garnished with a pineapple and she was allergic, I explained that the drink itself had pineapple juice in it and this ratchet told me “I’m only allergic to pineapples NOT pineapple juice!!!” Uh.. What? This is a classic case of someone who uses the word ‘allergic” when they should be using the words “I don’t like it.”
I am not against people who have allergies. How could I be? Even I am not that big of a bitch. The issue that some servers may have with customers who have allergies is that some people act as if it’s our problem. It isn’t. It’s our job to help you make an informed decision about what you can and cannot have from our menu. We want you you to be able to have a meal that will not kill you or make you go into anaphylactic shock because nine time out of ten, when a server kills their customer, the tip is going to suck. We just ask that people with allergies understand that we will do our best and to please not get angry with us for not being able to serve you a gluten-free pizza with no dairy or a peanut butter sandwich with no nuts.