It’s Top Chef, But What About the Servers?

Did anyone else watch the Top Chef finale last night? For me, it was all about the waiters. There are plenty of spoilers below, so if you have not watched the season finale between Nick and Nina, stay clear.

I watched it and there were some pretty awkward moments in it and I am not just talking about when Padma slinked out of the sea like a mermaid with newfound legs and did a whole segment in her bikini while dripping wet. I mean, really, Padma, what was the point of that? Yes, we all know you have a rocking hot body, but we don’t need to see your tits hanging out in order to decide who can make a better panna cotta.

I love the show but last night my heart went out to the unsung heroes of the episode, those servers who had to be on the top of their game when the two finalists, Nicholas Elmi and Nina Compton, had to develop a pop-up restaurant. Of course the finalists are placed in some other highly successful restaurant for a day and use it as their own which means that the staff is going to get used as well. Imagine those servers who are at work doing the same job they do every day and suddenly they have TV cameras in their faces and a Top Chef finalist who is really really stressed out.

Throughout the season, I always liked Nina. She never lost her cool, made consistently good food and always seemed likable. Nick, on the other other hand, always looked like a big ball of stress about to come unwound at any moment. He pissed people off, yelled at them and was very nearly eliminated from the show at least two or three times. When it came time for Nick and Nina to explain to the servers how they needed “their restaurants” run, Nina seemed professional and stern but still friendly. Nick was a dick. A big veiny puss-filled dick with chlamydia scabs who berated his staff and lost his cool and all I could think was, “those poor servers.”

Think about it: they are at work just like they are every day. One day, they find out that Top Chef is going to be filming the finale at their restaurant. “Oh, cool,” they think. “That’ll be fun!” But you know there are at least a couple of servers on staff who are thinking, “So what do I get out of it?” That would be me. I don’t want to go to work and have to do everything differently and learn a new menu for one day just so I can help someone I don’t even fucking know win $125,000 from Healthy Choice. That would piss me off. It seemed to piss of Nick’s servers too. He was obnoxious and annoying, consistently belittling his staff and forgetting that for all of them, it was just another day in paradise at their restaurant job. My favorite moment on the show was when he yelled at his expeditor and she gave him a look that said, “Ummm, I don’t really give a shit if you win or not. It’s my Monday and I just want to go home and take a bong hit.” Nick is that boss that says “please” and “thank you” but never ever means it.

A few minutes later, Nick lets the shit hit the fan. Since this is Top Chef we’re talking about, it wasn’t just any shit. It was an organic and locally sourced shit that had been pureed with truffle oil and white asparagus and garnished with lightly toasted sunflower seeds. Fancy shit, but still shit. Enjoy. After a server informs him that Table 9 has not received their first course yet and he is already plating the second one, he lets loose with his true feelings. “Godammit!” he yells as he slams the table.

Those poor servers on Top Chef… from The Bitchy Waiter on Vimeo.

The judges hear his outburst as does everyone else in the restaurant. At this point, Nick is convinced he has lost the battle. We never see the reaction of the server who is at the brunt of his anger. I imagine she is saying something like, “Listen, asshole. I’m not here to win prizes on a reality show. I’m at work, just like I was yesterday and like I will be tomorrow. This is your big deal, not mine. Chill the fuck out and just give me the first course for Table 9 and move on. Jeez, Louise, dick head.”

Fast forward a couple of hours and Nick is named the Top Chef, despite him clearly being an asshole to his staff, because everyone who works in a restaurant knows that we don’t have quite enough asshole chefs yet. When the winner is announced, Nina gives him a sincere hug and Nick can now focus on his future of becoming a restaurant owner that treats his staff like crap. Way to go, Top Chef! Maybe next time you can consider personality a little bit instead of just food. The judges kept saying how close of a decision it was, but I guess manners don’t matter in the Top Chef kitchen. You can be a total douchebag but as long as you season your fish correctly, you can be huge success. Oh, wait. Nick never seasoned his fish correctly. Not once in the whole season. Nina was robbed.