Very often, people come to this blog or to the Facebook page and they are taken aback by all the negativity and bitching. What I do not understand is why anyone would be surprised to find bitching on a website about bitching. It’s like going to a porn website and then complaining that all they show is porn. Or going to a Celine Dion website and being upset that all they do is talk about yodeling Canadians. However, in an attempt to be an all-inclusive website, I have chosen to dedicate this post to all things positive. After a few false starts, I discovered that writing about all things positive puts me in a very bad mood. It’s just not in me. “What to do, what to do?” I wondered. “I haven’t always been so negative and bitchy have I?” (“Yes. Yes you have,” shouts my mom from 1500 miles away.) I decided to do some digging into my boxes of crap and dig up one of my old diaries to see if I could find an entry that talked about waiting tables in a positive way. It took some time, but I found one. I give to you Non-Bitchy Waiter, circa 1990:
I am so totally psyched because today was my first day as a waiter and it was, like, totally awesome. I applied at a bunch of restaurants a couple of weeks ago and after a few interviews, I was chosen to work at Bennigan’s!!! I started today and it was amazing. I think I am really gonna like it. I have two weeks of training which is wonderful because it will really give me a chance to learn the menu and make sure I can answer all the questions that a customer might ask. I mean “guest.” (That’s what we call them!) It’s gonna be hard, but I can do it!! I know I can! One thing I like about the place is that there is a jukebox and we can play our favorite music which will make it even more fun to work there. Just today, I heard Vogue, Vision of Love, Pump Up the Jam and Nothing Compares 2 U. Amazing jukebox, right?? Another thing hat is great is that they encourage us to be ourselves and we can decorate our apron and suspenders. They call it “flair” and I am going to be the king of it! I have so many buttons that I have been collecting for so long and now I can finally have a reason to wear them. I think i will wear a few different ones and change them every day. I have another plan about my apron. Since I am still living with Mammaw, I can use her sewing machine to make cool aprons. Maybe I can make four different ones for each of the days I work. I wonder if there is contest for Best Flair, because I want to win it if there is!! Oh, and I just remembered that I heard an En Vogue song today too!
The girl who trained me is super dooper nice. Her name is Melanie and I feel like we could be friends. She has worked there for nine months so she knows all the ropes. Maybe some day I can be a trainer. I think she gets paid extra to do it which would be really nice. Oh and you know what else? I get a free meal every day! There is a section of food off the menu we can choose from. Today I had chicken fingers!! FREE! I love being a waiter.