Very often, Applebee’s is my target of ire and today, although the subject is again Applebee’s, the target is a customer and not the restaurant itself. Last week, an elderly couple went to Applebee’s for lunch but their appetites dropped lower than a 68-year-old breast when they saw their waitress was wearing a nose ring. Of course the wife had to write a letter to management about this disgusting scene.
She describes themselves as elderly in their “late 60’s” and “early 80’s,” which means that one of them is a cradle robber. I’m guessing it’s the husband who is 80-something since the complaint was typed on a computer and used two different colors for the font; clearly the work of a spring chicken in their sixties. The senior citizens almost went into cardiac arrest when they saw the nose ring, but also wanted it known that they are equally disturbed by tongue rings and tattoos. So disturbed in fact, that they may consider eating at a different restaurant or even asking for a different waitress next time.
“Excuse me, manager? I’m 83 years old. Can I have a waitress who is as pure as the driven snow? I would also prefer she only wears clip-on earrings and that she has never colored her hair. In fact, I want a waitress who has never even cut her hair. And she must be a virgin. Actually, can I just have an Amish waitress? Oh, a Nashville Chicken Sandwich, thanks.”
While the senior citizen does admit that people should have the right to do what they want to do, she also feels that things like nose rings should only be worn on a person’s own time so as not to subject others to having to look at them. Listen, Myrtle Mae, if you and your Sugar Daddy of a husband are going to start requesting to only have to look at things that please you, then maybe I have a few requests for you. I don’t find it that appetizing when I have to look at an 83 year old man trying to choke down a Chicken Fajita Rollup as his denture cream repeatedly fails, so I request that you eat at home. I also don’t find it appetizing to see an older woman wearing so much makeup that her foundation is stuck in the deep folds of her jowls and her eyeliner looks like it was drawn on by a chimpanzee with the alcohol shakes, so I again request that you stay at home. Don’t get me wrong, it’s fine if your husband wants to gum a Fajita Chicken Rollup and it’s fine if you choose to look like the last clown climbing out of the trunk of a clown car, but I just don’t wanna see it.
Now, how did that feel to hear that something you like is unappetizing to someone else? Did it hurt your feelings? Did it seem unfair? Exactly. This waitress can wear a nose ring. She can wear a nipple ring, clit ring, nipple clamp, clit clamp or anything else she wants to wear as long as her employer approves and it doesn’t affect how she does her job. You and your husband need to wake up and smell the 21st century. There are bigger Hand Battered Fish & Chips to fry than complaining about the nose ring on an Applebee’s waitress. Chill the fuck out and live your life. Let your husband pop another Cialis and try to stick his Brew Pub Pretzel into your Fire Roasted Chicken Salad Wrap until he releases a load of Beer Cheese Dip into your BBQ Brisket Taco. In other words: get laid and get over it.
Mel
This post should definitely go down in Bitchy history in the top five best. You are the master of prose, my friend. The genius of “…the last clown climbing out of the trunk of a clown car,” and “…drawn on by a chimpanzee with the alcohol shakes” epitomize why I come here.
I am in physical pain from laughing. I may have even peed a little.
Alan
Used to work with this girl who had really short, close-cropped hair.
One day, she had this distressed look on her face as she made her way to the beverage station.
I asked, “You OK?”
She explained that she had a 3-top of old ladies asking her if she’s a lesbian.
(She’s not, BTW. Has a husband and 6-year-old child).
Ooooo, that pisses me off when someone makes judgments based on personal appearance.
India
Dear Bitchy Waiter: THANK YOU FOR EXISTING. My nose ring doesn’t do my bar tending for me. It does however keep assholes at bay. I call my gallant nose jewelry “the asshole filter”. Perchance have you met my darling friend Kryssi Ridolfi? (Another bitchy waiter) she went viral on the youtube and I think she would enjoy your blog very much!
Steve
I know and appreciate you are here to raise awareness, and to further server’s rights. But they are 60 and 80 year old ppl in an Applebee’s…….anyone reading this knows how irrelevant they are as customers. Not as people. Everyone is relevant as a person. Let em be mad. I get mad watching servers on their phones at work. I might be a server from a different time.
Betsy
Bitchy, you are awesome! I would like to remove the whole idea of the jewelry and tattoo thing and tell the old folks to bow down to this girl for the simple fact that she is WORKING and their tax $ aren’t being used to support a lazy ass human being that can’t get out of bed and “gasp” get a job!!
Batcat
Ugh
Really? A nose ring? How terrible for them. I can’t imagine how trying a time that was for them to endure seeing a nose ring!
Hopefully they showed her their disdain by not tipping the whole dollar!
Laura
LOL! Naw, I’m sure they left their customary 50 cent tip!
KD
And here we go. A bunch of crotchety old servers getting bent out of shape because Bitchy sided with the pierced waitress. Get over yourselves. How miniscule of a detail to take issue with. Oh, and you all can shove your “hanky” where the sun don’t shine.
Brenda Blalock
I think your attiude towards old people is appaling.i thi k u suck as human being.i can’t believe a resturaunt would allow their servers to wear a dam nose ring.and yes i’ve been in the business for 30 years.
Daniel S.
I think “hankies” are disgusting. Really? You blow your old-ass nose in that thing and then just put it back in your booger-laced pocket? Gross af.
Beverly
I think it was wrong of them to complain. I’m in my 60s and still am a server. I think what you said took it a little bit too far !
Darl
Couldn’t even look at her serving skills, just kept looking at her nose because they are boring people and had nothing to bitch about that day. As an ex-waitress and as a lover of the piercings and tattoos I can say very truthfully that as long as you are getting wonderful service It should not matter what your waiter or waitress looks like.
However… Excessive sweat while being a waiter or waitress could be a slight off thing.
Claire Hawk
I agree with the customers. Wear your accessories when you are not working. I have been in the industry for over thirty years, I do not approve of those things either.
Carol Bensuaski
To be honest I have been working on the Industry for the last 15 years, and I actually think that such accessories should not be worn at work. BUT if the employer is ok with that, so be it. The girl was hired that way so she can just carry on and work like this. The couple is just making a big deal out of it. If the waitress is looking like that is because she is allowed to, so just get over it.
Angela
Agreed! Mr. Bitchy, in most instances I tend to agree with your stance; however, this couple visited an establishment that is known for family-oriented standards should be upheld. I’m not surprised that Applebees has compromised. They suck anyway. I won’t frequent Tilted Kilt, because, although the food is decent, I don’t want to look at titties while I eat. Ya feel me? It would be more appropriate to “where anything they want” at Bikers and Burgers.
Sarah Foe
I had to hide all my tattoos and take out all my piercings when I worked at Applebee’s. Surprised they’re even allowing nose rings.
Terri
They spent a lot of time thinking about a nose ring. It must be nice to have so few concerns, and have your life so completely arranged so that not even the smallest thing ever intrudes upon your sense of well-being, that you can waste the precious moments of your senior years on this.
Janna1254
This elderly lady needs to stay home and eat, and stop judging people..
This was very rude, check yourself lady!!!
Ida
You know this geezer voted for Cheeto Jesus and only has sex on Saturday night missionary style. Then she rolls off his twin size straw mattress to go sleep in hers that is separated by a night stand and sexual frustration.
Rachael
????????
Corey
no one cares about your trump derangement syndrome buddy lmao