Five Reasons Servers Aren’t People (guest post)

As I take a vacation and drink my way through Italy, I have enlisted guest bloggers to fill the Bitchy Waiter void. Please enjoy their musings, but not so much that you stop liking me. I’m needy. xo, BW

  1. They don’t have feelings. So, when you shake your glass or snap your fingers, they don’t actually punch you in the throat. They should but they don’t.
  2. They don’t have bills. They don’t have to worry about rent or car payments, so no point in tipping them. They serve just for the love of serving.
  3. They don’t have to use the washroom. That’s why you see them running around for eight hours without a break. They don’t need one.
  4. They actually love to clean up after you. So, do let your kid spill everything and throw his food on the floor. Servers live for that, they really are here just to serve you.
  5. They have infinite patience. So, do ask all the questions you can think of. “What’s in the stir fry?” or “What is the burger served with?” Nothing they love more than reading the menu that’s right in front of you.

Do go ahead, they aren’t people, so no need to treat them like they are.

Laura McGowan writes for Skinny and Single.

You can follow her on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram.

11 thoughts on “Five Reasons Servers Aren’t People (guest post)

  1. Julie R

    In Tn the rate of pay for a server has not changed from $2.13 per hour. Since the legal minimum wage was $3.25. How fair is that?!? I believe rate was early 1980s.

  2. Julie R

    In Tn the rate of pay for a server has not changed from $2.13 per gr8. Since the legal minimum wage was $3.25. How fair is that?!? I believe rate was early 1980s.

  3. Mike Hawk

    Don’t forget the lovely invention of Yelp. I’ve heard managers speaking openly about making profiles just to get rid of their own staff. Can’t get a write up? It’s cool just get them on Yelp. A guest has no idea what is going on in a restaurant when they sit down. A guest can literally say whatever they want and it’s taken as gospel bc it’s in a public forum. Hire a person to work 4 to 6 shifts a week then schedule them 17 shifts in 10 days. No off days. You complain and what happens? You get fired. You get burnt out bc your scheduled too much? Fired. In the 70’s the industry was unionized. Since that union was broken the industry has grown 3000% in profits while keeping wages the same. The starting wage for a manager in 1978 was $35k a year. Now it’s $42k if you are lucky. Wait staff has only recently started getting wage hikes. Still unable in most states to even cover their taxes much less the insane cost of mandatory healthcare. The industry needs widespread changes.

  4. Vicky

    Some people don’t off until late or it’s the only time They could or maybe they had to wait for a babysitter as they didn’t want to Bring crying or overadventurous children in to bother the other guests. Maybe your place of employment stays open late just for other BOH and FOH people to be able to enjoy. Either way it’s your job. I’ve gotten great tips from late nighters and crappy tips from them.

  5. Jael

    You missed the part about coming into an establishment right before they close. Because hey, they don’t have lives or children to get home to. They’re here to serve me, to my every becking whim.

    1. Amy

      I swear this is my biggest pet peeve as a server! I have had everything clean n set 4 the next day and some fool comes in at 5 mins til close! They always say “we’ll eat fast” n then order a well done filet or something that has a 20+ min cook time.. And destroy the table.. AND leave a crap tip! Smh

      1. Steve

        If it’s winter turn on the AC. If it’s summer turn on the heat. I did that at one fastfood place I worked at. Never had to rush them out!


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