If ever I don’t have something to write about, all I need to do is look at the Facebook page of a chain restaurant and something there will ignite my flame of bitchiness. In today’s case, we have a woman named Mardi complaining to Applebee’s about how they were told they would have to wait up to thirty minutes before being given a table even though she counted at least four or five tables that were empty. The kitchen was behind so the restaurant was doing the responsible thing by slowing down the seating.
“Stupidest reason to loose customers!!! WE HAD TO SUFFER BY STANDING until they caught up?!?!!”
Mardi simply could not understand such reasoning, so she left Applebee’s and went to O’Charley’s instead where she was happy, well fed and satiated in much the same way a baby calf feels as it rests in a cage being force fed milk and fat not knowing it will soon be covered in parmigiana and hanging out next to a side of spaghetti. The experience also confirmed for Mardi that she will never enter another Applebee’s for as long as she lives. (#applebeessucks #boycottApplebees). That sound you just heard was every server at Applebee’s collectively breathing out a sigh of relief and that smell that just hit your olfactory senses was the result of every server at O’ Charley’s regurgitating last night’s shift meal at the thought of having to serve her again.
Clearly, Mardi has never worked in a restaurant and I would like to educate her. (I have decided to leave Mardi’s name visible since she posted her comment to a public page.) Mardi, here is the deal:
Just because you see an empty table at a restaurant, that does not necessarily mean that it is available for seating. There is, in fact, a method to the madness. A restaurant may have 60 tables in total and on Friday and Saturday, all 60 of them may be used at one time. This would mean that there could be as many as twelve servers, each one responsible for five tables. But what happens on Tuesday night when it’s not as busy? There will still be 60 tables, but the restaurant may only have six servers that night, each one now responsible for ten tables with the understanding that it is highly unlikely that all 60 tables will be seated at the same time seeing it’s a Tuesday. But what if, for some reason, a Tuesday ends up being like a Friday or Saturday? Well, the six servers are trying to take care of the same amount of customers that normally twelve servers do and it can get a little bit crazy. And when that happens, the kitchen gets behind and the manager has to slow down the seating rotation in order to get things back under control.
This is where you come in, Mardi. When the hostess told you it may be thirty minutes for a table to be ready and you had to suffer the intolerable event of standing for a whole half hour, it would have been worse for you if they seated you and then you waited at the table for thirty minutes before a server was ready to help you. You’d be all, “I can’t believe I have been sitting here for thirty minutes and no one has taken my order yet! This is horrible! My ass is falling asleep! I can’t wait to Yelp about this!”
When they told you it would be half an hour for a table, what they were doing was giving you a realistic expectation. Seating you immediately would give you the impression that you were going to be served soon and you would have been disappointed when it didn’t happen. Basically, they were doing you a favor by having you wait so that when they did seat you, they would be ready to give you the service you expected.
In other words, chill the fuck out. Sometimes restaurants are busy. Sometimes you have to wait for a table. Sometimes you have to stand while you wait and sometimes that makes your cankles get bigger. If you like O’Charley’s so much better, keep on going there. Applebee’s might not want to “loose” customers, but if the customer is a pain in the ass, they might be willing to let her go.
And now you know.
If you like this bitchy blog, you will love my book coming out in April.
Sara
I work at O’Charley’s we also hold the door ……
Jenny Mackie
This is brilliant! I’m a waitress in the UK and this is exactly what happens to us! We have often let the customer know that there will be at least a 45 minute wait for food and they will happily sit down and have drinks but after 15 minutes they start getting annoyed and complain about the wait even though they were pre warned and can CLEARLY see how busy it is and can CLEARLY see that we aren’t a fast food restaurant and can CLEARLY see that everything is locally sourced and cooked to order and some cooking times dishes take 20 minutes itself…. And there was 6 tables who’s order was before you……(I could go on)
Your blog is AMAZING and I completely understand the highs and lowest of lows when it comes to being in this industry! Your blog is epic I am sharing it to my fellow colleagues as this will make them giggle and also we can all relate 🙂 I have a story or two to tell I have often thought about blogging it for the simple reason to RANT and let it all out because honestly I feel like I need a therapy session after some shifts haha!
Stephanie
This article is perfectly written. Some people have never worked in this business before and could never understand the struggles of working/trying to run a restaurant.
Amanda
hahahahaha! She wrote a review of Cici’s pizza giving it one star because her husband bit into a piece of pizza and was burned by some sauce that dripped onto the corner of his mouth. What is wrong with people?
Kristen
Oh & MommaBear, you read the same post, so don’t try to act like you are better than all of us. We all have plenty of respect. For people that deserve our respect. Respect doesn’t get handed to you like free condoms at a Planned Parenthood, you have to earn it! We have our fellow servers/bartenders/restaurants back. That is called loyalty. That’s what’s lacking in today’s society.
MommaBear24kidos
She’s my friend so yes I did read it!!!!!
Heather
She’s her friend! Oh, that explains everything. Lol
Kristen
I would first like to start off by saying how insanely jealous I am that I did not think of this as a blog idea for myself. Kudos to you! As a fellow industry worker (server & bartender) for 15 years, I loved reading every word. We all have our stories. What I don’t understand is how are people still this ignorant?! Between the Internet, social media, TV & movies (Hello, the movie “Waiting”!), everybody should be well versed in restaurant etiquette. It’s pretty simple. I’m a person doing a job. I’m not your slave to run ragged & then not even have the decency to leave a 10% tip even though I only get paid $3.10 an hour & it’s taxed along with all the tips people leave on credit cards. So now I have to go home & say ‘Sorry kids, we can’t get a special treat for how good you’ve been because people are lazy, rude, classless assholes. And decided it was all my fault that they had to wait 5 minutes & it’s was also my fault that a new cook didn’t get their steak exactly medium so they took it out on me by racking up a $200 bill & leaving me $10’. Meanwhile I have to try to keep a fake ass smile plastered on my face when all I really wanna do is tell them to get the f*ck out & f*ck off! I agree with the person who said they should make it a mandatory class in high school. The thing that bothers me the most is that she’s bitching about something so trivial while other people are having serious problems. If that’s the only thing she has to complain about, well then let me tell you something Mardi…..GET OVER IT! Things could be worse. You could be in horrible debt, about to lose your house, have no electricity, you could have no food in your house, you could be sick or someone you love could be really sick. Compared to those things, I’m personally ok with standing & waiting 30 minutes. Just saying!
MommaBear24kidos
It’s a damn shame people can harsh on someone they don’t know. That’s what’s wrong with society now. No respect for others or yourself. People get a life. Regardless of the women’s privacy settings no one deserves hate mail and judgments from others.
Dawn
If she wasnt such a stupid bitch who decided to throw a tantrum, over something with such little importance, to the whole world via fb and, as you said, harsh on people she didnt even know, maybe her inbox wouldnt be full of trolls!
Erica
agreed….she deserves what she gets!! sorry not sorry
Linda Purkey
I agrer she should have been given the option to sit and order drinks but told it would be 30_60 whatever to be served food from kitchen as I would prefer to sit and chat iver drinks than to stand in the vestibule in coat purse etc but he rant was nit necessary
Larson
agreed
Erica
Applebees bar is usually in the middle of the restaurant, in plain sight……So she could have ordered a drink from the bar anytime she wanted….Most people would be open to sitting and ordering drinks, but alot of them would get impatient when they couldnt order right away, and i guarentee she is one of those people….
Kimberly
Oh, Bitchy. I just love you.
Macy
People don’t even think about how the hostesses might be holding tables for a large party so they can out them together when table 207 finally decided to box up their dessert that they haven’t touched for 20 minutes. Well I don’t see a big party? No, you don’t and neither do I but when that table comes in well be prepared while we seat you at the table that is available. Trust me they will have to wait as long as you, if not longer
Leslie Mitchum
You have the right to publish whatever bs gets you readership but just know that fb idiots are harassing Mardi over her right to voice her opinion. Karma is a bitch.
donteatpoop
She should probably change her privacy settings then.
Alicia
She should expect backlash when she went public with a stupid comment
Charee
You sound dumb, she posted that publicly, obviously she wanted a reaction and her lack of knowledge in this business gives her opinion no basis because she doesn’t have all the information, so bitchy waiter gave her that information. Now next time being educated about the matter maybe she can realize when a complaint is actually warranted and her opinion will actually mean something! Doubt it though she sounds too dumb to even understand restaurant seating.
Sharon
Boy, please!
(Or… Girl, Please! Whatever…)
Change your privacy settings and you won’t get posts from people you don’t want to hear from.
kim
Serves her right-she just couldn’t wait to get home from dinner that night and complain online, going so far as to call for a boycott? There are consequences sometimes for acting like a big asshole.
Erica
and they are clearly exercising their right to voice their opinion as well…..
Shanny
Well being in the serving industry myself, making people stand in a small vestibule for 60 mins is stupid. Either take the time to explain to them or give them the option of being seated and advise them that their food could take a bit of time. Remember every situation is different as every “waiting” area is a different size. No customer wants to feel like the are a head of cattle waiting to go thru the Shute! From being in numerous Applebee’s, their waiting Shutes are pretty small!
Reginald van der Slythe
Good thing they were only told they had to wait half that long. And were told what the situation was. Did you bother to read the article before flapping your fingers away?
donteatpoop
I agree. This lady clearly overreacted, but why was this not explained to her in non-industry terms. The lady clearly didn’t understand what “the kitchen is behind” meant. Or hell, why not seat them and tell them “I don’t want to make you guys stand but it’s going to be at least half an hour before anyone will be available to serve you.”
This is a common problem in all industries; where those working in said industry think that those not in the industry will understand what they mean when they use jargon. Dumb it down for people. If they can see tables it probably doesn’t make sense to them that they can’t stand.
I appreciate thebitchywaiter being the ambassador that explains this stuff, but this was a clear case of the Applebee’s staff not doing a good job at explaining the situation (and the customer being an entitled asshole… if you don’t like it just leave no need to ask people to boycott for life; it’s not like they insulted her or something.).
Alicia
How much do you’dumb it down’ for them. …I would think telling them that the kitchen is behind would be enough
Erica
I think I could’ve understood, “The kitchen is behind,” before working in a restaurant. That’s hardly an indecipherable term of art. If I was confused, I could look around at how busy the restaurant was and figure it out via that mighty skill taught in second-grade called “looking for context clues.” Hmmm, I was told that the kitchen is behind … the restaurant is pretty full … I can therefore infer that “the kitchen is behind” means that the cooks are struggling with the amount of orders being put in due to how busy the restaurant is.
Anonymous
Right? I could see how “in the weeds” might not be understandable, but “the kitchen is behind” seems pretty idiot-proof.
Evie
I agree that ideally taking the moment to clearly explain what’s going on in terms those that are not in F&B can hopefully understand would be best. However, in my actual personal experience I have found that when people have their head up their ass they can’t hear you at all. And those who would understand what you are trying to explain to them don’t need the explanation at all because they are just conscientious people that realize things happen and don’t sweat the small stuff from the beginning.
trisha
Applebee’s did explain why they had to wait and weren’t being seated if you read her comment again. The cooks were behind. I would have done the same thing and stop seating until the cooks were caught up. They did the right thing and one more annoying guest who doesn’t understand what is going on is no big loss… If they wanted to sit and were in a hurry to eat there is such thing as a drive thru….
Stephenie
But the hashtags! ??? poor “looser” Mardi.
Jen
They don’t want “loose” customers?!?! That’s interesting
Tammy
I had a situation that was similar to this one night at the Restaurant I work for. Tuesday night 2 servers and two almost brand new cooks, one of which left to go attend to the birth of his child. Between customers pouring in and trying to get food out with a cook who didn’t really know the menu, I did not have a moment to breathe however apparently my inability to fawn over one of my tables left a bad taste in their mouth. When I went to their table they screamed at me and my manager too. I got so many pity tips from their bad behavior it wasn’t even funny.
Vanessa
The grammar hurts me.
Jose Noway
The original poster, or the bitchy waiter’s when he “ometimes” misspells?
(SNARK!!!) 😉
The Bitchy Waiter
Ha! I corrected it, thanks!
Larson
autocorrect is a modern evil
dead_elvis
Yes, you’ve said that a few times now, and it’s neither funnier nor more accurate than the first time.
jessica
I’ve been telling my coworkers that I want to offer a class on “How to dine in a restaurant (and not be an asshole)”. Unfortunately, those who need the class probably wouldn’t go and the people who go probably don’t need it.
jesica
I’ve always said it should be taught in high school, like home economics. At some point in everybodies lives you will eat out or work at a resteraunt. Alot can be taught in just a short semester. For example when a server is greeting you with “hello my name is.. ” don’t interrupt with “coke”. Nobody asked for a drink order yet. You must shut your mouth and listen. Stop ordering water for the entire table when nobody in your party expressed wanting it. Your causing the server to now make 2 trips for drinks, extra dishes for the dish washer and it’s a fucking waste of water! Do not say you are ready to order when your actually not. Making a server stand at the table while you look through the menu is not okay. Lots of things could be done by the server while you look, refills, pre bussing, cashing out and running food, its an inconvienence to staff and other guests. When I say “Take a look at the dessert menue at the end of the table and I will be back to get your pie order.” Do not wait for me to get back and ask what pies I have. Finally you do not need a bag for 1 small to go box…once again it a waste! Maybe if you stop wasting our time and our resources a side of corn won’t fucking cost $3.19.
Then of course teach the importance of a shoulder pit sneeze, using gloves and tongs to touch food, hand washing and food rotation.
Scotty
I love when people leave bitchy comments and can’t even spell correctly.
Larson
autocorrect is a modern evil
Mari
Welcome to the wonderful world of F&B in Charleston! I’ve never graced Applebees with my presence, I did do time at O’Charleys for a few years though. I’m sure I know exactly which location she is probably talking about and which O’Charleys she ended up and I pity my former coworkers.
PS: O’Charleys is way to cheap to offer shift meals lol
Ashe
I’m slightly disappointed you did not make a “loose woman” joke.
Sharon
There is a cd one can buy called “LOOSE THAT WOMAN AND LET HER GO”…
They should keep a few on hand at Applebee’s……………….. just in case.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00KJJOPP8?ie=UTF8&*Version*=1&*entries*=0
Larson
autocorrect is a modern evil
Kim
Yes! I was expecting one too.
Laura
I have been in the biz for 25 years and absolutely love reading every sentence that you write because each and every word and or situation has happened to me at some point and are EXACTLY spot on!! Thanks for entertainment, honesty, and understanding! Keep it up!
Breda
Same here 🙂
In the biz for 15 years now and what fascinates me most is it looks like no matter what part of the world we come from (BTW I come from Slovenia-Europe) and work as servers, there is always goona be an “assh…e” or some stupid situation that we have to deal with.
I can identify with almost every post posted by BW, altrough I always thought these things happen only in my town.
Good work Bitchy Waiter, keep it up 😉
sandi tringali
I LOVE YOU BITCHY WAITER !!!!!!!! <3 <3 <3 you always make me laugh. sometimes I hear your voice inside my head when I have a moron to talk to ,,,,
Sharon
Breda, hello from Texas.
Your post makes me sad because I would love to think that people somewhere on this planet are not entitled morons. Ah, well… they are sprinkled all over the globe.
Kehn
Anybody that goes to Applebees and thinks that’s a restaurant is crazy. It’s a sit down fast food place with awful food that is pre made. Ghetto ghetto ghetto ghetto? Anybody that things are going to get restaurant quality and customer service at Applebees need to get married.
jessi
If you’ve never worked at an applebees, pls stop saying things you clearly dont know anything about. Their quality of food is actually fresh. (I would know, I’ve worked for the distributor, and served there). And your grammar clearly shows your intellect. “Anybody that things are going to get restaurant quality and customer service at Applebees need to get married.” Apparently school wasn’t a huge priority for you.