All hail the new queen of the bitches. On bended knee, I bow down to the woman I now worship. Her name is Darla Neugebauer and she owns a restaurant in Portland, Maine called Marcy’s Diner. Sometime over the weekend, a couple of entitled parents dragged their two-year old daughter into the restaurant and thought it was alright for her to scream and cry her ass off for 40 minutes. No, she literally cried until her ass fell off and the child now has a Go Fund Me campaign set up for ass restoration. After Darla could no longer take it and became clear that the parents were not going to do anything about the crying, Darla opened up a can of Sysco Whoop Ass and yelled at the little girl to get her to shut the fuck up. Of course the parents got all upset and did what any parent would do in this situation which is go to Marcy’s Diner’s Facebook page to complain about it. Darla saw the post and had left her last fuck on the grill next to the three pancakes the little girl had ordered. She did not feel the need to apologize.
‘Life’s full of choices and you’ve got to live with all of them,’’ she told WCSH-TV. ‘‘I chose to yell at a kid, it made her shut-up, which made me happy, it made my staff happy, it made the 75 other people dining here happy, and they left, they may never come back, other people may not come in. Their loss really.’’
The original Facebook post that the mom wrote has since been deleted so I am forced to use my imagination to see what it said. I’m pretty sure it was something like this:
Well, I NEVER! My perfect husband and I took our perfect daughter to Marcy’s Diner this morning and were horribly mistreated. First off all, they should be grateful that we were there in the first place because we normally only like to eat all-organic tofu and quinoa that was harvested by grass-fed chickens, but today we decided to eat among the commoners and have pancakes and bacon. My daughter started crying when she got a whiff of the bacon since it smelled different from what I normally serve her. (I always use a bacon that is flown in from Switzerland and is made from pigs that lived in the Swiss Alps and are humanely killed by a Julie Andrews look-alike who she sings “Edelweiss” as she shoots them in the head with a crossbow.) My precious angel of a daughter had barely uttered out a whimper and the next thing I know the owner was shouting obscenities at her. I immediately apologized for my daughter’s behavior, even though her crying was completely understandable seeing that the bacon wasn’t from Switzerland. I will never go here again and I urge other parents to boycott this restaurant as well. They hate children!! And anyone who hates my daughter must be mentally challenged because my daughter is a perfect snowflake.
The Facebook page for Marcy’s Diner is full of people who are applauding Darla’s behavior and plenty who think she is the beast of Satan. You can go to the page and see for yourself. If you write anything here, tell her Bitchy Waiter sent you. Also tell her I love her.
I leave you with this video of Darla explaining her actions and continuing on her quest to give no fucks: