Everything You Hate About Waiting on Old People

Old People...

Old People…

As you may or may not know, I did The Bitchy Waiter Show; LIVE a couple of weeks ago. It was great fun and the show consisted of me bitching, singing and drinking about waiting tables. Since the show sold out, I have added two performances, one on August 4th and the other on September 6th, both here in New York City. Click that link above for more information and get your ass to the show. I think you’ll like it but worst case scenario is that you won’t like it but you’ll still get drunk. It’s a win either way.

My favorite number of the night was this gem which was about the joy of waiting on people of a certain age. It’s everything that can be annoying about waiting on a table of “olds” and it’s summed up in a neat and tidy 5 minutes and 34 seconds.  Please enjoy and share.

9 thoughts on “Everything You Hate About Waiting on Old People

  1. Jim Lowman

    Hey, I’m 66 and I loved this! Funny as hell!

    For those old geezers who are complaining, what part of what he said is not true?

  2. Barrina


    About the heat thing: for one summer I worked in the dining room of a VERY ritzy country club. In the summer, there were tables outside facing the golf course. This being the Philadelphia area, it would get hideously hot and humid.

    But not hot enough for the oldsters, who would beg that what little air conditioning there was be turned down.

    “Oh, and could the servers not sweat so much? It’s very unattractive.” The manager actually got a phone call asking that. And because a) she was spine-free, and b) these people were richer Croesus (naming hospitals after themselves, etc. I’m not exaggerating), and their requests were law, she had the idea that if we were too sweaty, we go the back and splash cold water on ourselves periodically. ‘Wouldn’t they think the water was MORE sweat?’ we asked.

    Sadly, this thorny problem was never resolved to anyone’s satisfaction.

  3. Elyse Haldeman

    This was so funny, I loved it! I wish I was going to be in the city for your next show. Once while working in a diner-style restaurant, one of the waiters said to me, “I hate old people and I hate children.” It cracked me up. So true! Your show reminded me of that moment. Look forward to viewing your future videos!

  4. Kyle

    I serve old people at Denny’s every day and that was the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. Great vid. Keep it up

  5. Lisa

    thank you so much for such a great, and sadly VERY accurate, take on old people~
    I have always wondered at what age do people reach to suddenly forget how to conduct themselves in public? Have they always been as they are now or is there a class they take to become this way?

    When I would complain about having old people in my section, I would relay the incident to my mom and her reply would always be, ” they can’t help it…they’re old” EXACTLY ! That is my complaint in the first place !

    My all time favorite statement from an old , female person is, “I used to wait tables back in 19 blah blah blah…” So if you waited tables, and understand my job, why are you being such a horrible customer??
    Anyways, thanks for such a great blogsite and I really wish I could come to one of your live shows one day.


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