This Restaurant Needs Our Help on Yelp!

It has come to my attention that a restaurant needs our help after needlessly being bashed on Yelp with undeserving 1-star reviews. Since Yelp is a big pile of steaming snail feces, I figure we should fight fire with fire and all of us band together to defend this restaurant from a group of entitled unhappy patrons who need to get the fuck over themselves.

The short story as told to me from an inside source who shall remain nameless:

A group of 21 people made a reservation and wanted the private room which is an additional $2500. Because the group of cheap asses were on a budget, the restaurant graciously waived the fee and offered to create a special menu just for them. While they eagerly took the free room, the refused the special menu wanting to order ala cart from the regular menu. Even though the restaurant told them that ordering from the entire menu could slow down the kitchen and make their party wait longer for the food, the group insisted. Again, the restaurant obliged. Well, it was a busier night than usual for the restaurant and the group thought their food was taking too long and demanded a discount. Don’t forget, they already had the private room for free. The restaurant presented them with the bill, sans discount, for $1800 plus 20% gratuity. The party had enjoyed 50 hand-crafted cocktails, ten bottles of wine, apps, salads and entrees all within two hours. But they threatened that if they didn’t get a discount for being so inconvenienced by waiting, they would all post negative reviews onto the Yelp page of the restaurant. The restaurant refused to be blackmailed and the assholes followed through on their threat with several 1-star reviews popping up the next day.

So…I say we all go to the Yelp page and add our own 5-star reviews to counteract those asshole blackmailers. If Yelp can allow people to post bullshit bad reviews then they have to accept that people can post bullshit good ones as well. There was no reason for these people to trash this restaurant just because they didn’t get free food. I want to use this blog to stand up to those losers and help that restaurant regain their rightful Yelp status. CLICK HERE to go to the Yelp page of Funky Monkey Wine Company and give them the 5-star review they deserve for putting up with this bunch of assclowns. I can’t wait to see how many of you are ready to come to the need of a fellow restaurant staff and put up the good fight against customers who think they should get more then they deserve.

Fuck Yelp.

23 thoughts on “This Restaurant Needs Our Help on Yelp!

  1. Sharlene

    Just left my five start review for The Funky Monkey.
    The people who reviewed from said party made it very obvious who they were. Disgusting.

    Reply
  2. sara beo

    gosh, what sucky people. i hope this doesn’t come off as victim blaming, but man why did the restaurant bend over so backwards for that group tho? the kind of people who would insist on the things they insisted on are clearly garbage people, why even bother with the likes of them?

    Reply
  3. Cg

    I actually live in Orlando and have been there several times and it’s usually pretty good! What everybody could do is actually going to Yelp and leave those individuals that are douchebags a compliment as well which I did I went through and made sure that I told each and every one of them what I thought about them

    Reply
  4. CincyDrunk

    You bastards now I can’t find the shitty reviews! Kidding, really, but is there a way to sort reviews by stars given on the yelp app that I am ashamed to admit I downloaded.

    Reply
  5. dean

    I am not a snob, I am a four decade restaurant person. I had one of my worst experiences ever at this restaurant. Food was poor, service was worse. I won’t post a negative review but I would never go back to The Funky Monkey, it was horrible..

    Reply
  6. Borb Chnadler

    I just flagged everyone of them fucking fake reviews….but I did get to see the real identities of some of the readers on here.

    Reply
  7. Borb Chnadler

    I hope some of this scandalous rigging catches up to the restaurant you work in, a lot could be said about how you talk about your customers and drink on the job and text on your phone while making fun of the elderly and others.

    Reply
  8. Richard Fitzwell

    Dude, it’s not like they were killing it on the reviews prior to these ass holes. Sounds like this place has plenty of issues not even related to this party.

    Reply
  9. Orlando Server

    Hi Bitchy, I don’t normally leave comments on your posts but I have to make an exceptiin this time. Thank you. I have been a restaurant employee in Orlando for 10 years now. Incidents like this our incredibly common, especially around the IDrive area. I have personally taken care of multiple parties who have tried to pull this kind of crap in the past, and it is absolutely horrible. People who behave like this should be banned from being allowed to fine out at these restaurants. At the end of the day, these assholes are finsncislly hurting every member of the staff by slowing our business, not just the big corporate guys. The servers, bussers, and bartenders are all ways the first hit. Thanks again!

    Reply
  10. Linsey S

    Yea, Mark M. posted the link to this article, before posting what he must have thought was a hilarious review trashing the restaurant. Pretty sure he’s never even been to the actual restaurant himself, also, I think he is trying to say you’re a “Bad little Monkey”, which is too kinky to be a valid insult.

    Reply
  11. Kassia

    I got a notice when I pulled up the reviews informing me that Yelp was deleting reviews that were prompted by the news stories related to the restaurant. Oddly enough, they left plenty of the one star reviews. Hmmmm…
    Fuck Yelp.

    Reply

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