Found: The Man You Never Want To Work For

You don't want to work here.

You don’t want to work here.

Each day, my inbox is filled with hundreds and hundreds (okay, two or three, maybe) pictures and emails from people who want my opinion on some restaurant situation. A couple of weeks ago, someone named “Amanda” sent me a photo and a short rant about her time as a server at a breakfast chain restaurant. Try as I might, I could not convince her to tell me the name of the chain, so we can only assume it’s Denny’s, Cracker Barrel, IHOP or some shit like that there. Amanda has waited tables for five years and presumably knows her way around a stack of pancakes, but there was a manager there that she could not tolerate and after four days, she put in her notice and Rooty-Tooty Fresh and Fruityed her ass outta there. Amanda tells me the man’s name was Dan and instead of a table chart or menu or anything about the restaurant, she was simply given a sheet of paper titled “Dan’s Cardinal Sins.” It is a list of 37 things that Dan the Man cannot stand and it’s pretty ridiculous. I want to look at this list and dissect its points. Even though we do not know where the restaurant is located or what chain it is, hopefully, enough people will share the post and it will eventually get back to Dan who will maybe realize what a dick he truly appears to be.

  1. “What can I get you to drink?” I am assuming he wants servers to suggestively sell things and say shit like, “Can I get you a glass of orange juice or a fresh cup of coffee?”
  2. Un-prebussed tables. I’m with Dan. This is a good thing. Maybe not a cardinal sin, but a good thing.
  3. Cell phones in the dining room. Again, not an uncommon rule, but that’s what aprons are for, right?
  4. Eating in the dining room. Pretty normal request.
  5. Horsing around in the dining room. I would ask for a definition of “horsing around.” Does he mean there is to be no galloping or eating of hay? Are servers allowed to have a good time while at work as long as they do not officially trot?
  6. Being late and not calling the store. Yes, Dan, good point.
  7. Texting/calling Dan’s personal cell phone for work related matters. This one confuses me. They cannot call about work related issues, but I guess they can call just to shoot the breeze and talk about life. If he truly does not want people to call his cell phone he should probably not give the number to his staff. Also, servers should remember that if they do want to call him about non-work related issues, to only do it when he is not in the ding room, otherwise he won’t get the message. (See cardinal sin #3.)
  8. Not cleaning up after yourself. Fine. I agree.
  9. Bad attitudes. Uh oh, I might have a problem here. I think it should say no “outwardly” bad attitudes, because if my attitude is crap but I can manage to keep it inside where no one knows about it, then my attitude can be as bad as it fucking wants to be.
  10. Dropping menus off at a table and walking away. Dropping off menus and running away is perfectly acceptable.
  11. Bitch faces. Okay, fire me now.
  12. Requesting off for the wrong year. The wrong year? Do people really have to put in their requests 12 months in advance?
  13. Starting sidework when the dining room is messy (especially on weekends). What if your sidework is in the back of the house and you don’t know that the dining room is messy?
  14. “I have to go to my other job.” Okay, this is bullshit. If someone has to work two jobs to get though life, then both jobs need to understand that they are of equal importance.
  15. Being more than 10 minutes late and not calling. Didn’t we already go through this with #6, Dan? You can eliminate one of them and shorten your list to 36.
  16. Un-presentable food. That seems like it should be on the list for the kitchen crew.
  17. Not talking about specials. If the restaurant is Denny’s or Cracker Barrel, how special can the special be? Is it really worth talking about?
  18. We are out of ______ when it’s in a box. I am assuming this means he wants people to go to the stock room to look for napkins before declaring that the restaurant is out of them. I agree.
  19. We are out of ______ and not writing it on my list. Write it on the list but whatever you do do not text or call him about it.
  20. Clutter. Examples of clutter would copies of this fucking list.
  21. Crap from the bargain box. I have no idea what this means.
  22. Running biscuits before hot food. This is a travesty. Biscuits ARE hot food, Dan, and the biscuit is one of the most important foods of any breakfast establishment. Your comment leads me to believe that you have something against biscuits, and that sir, makes you a dick biscuit.
  23. Complaining about tipping out. Feel free to complain about how little you make, how crappy the sidework is and what a dick Dan may be.
  24. Smoking for more than 4 minutes. This is my favorite point, because he does not specify what you can or cannot smoke in those four minutes. Marijuana, crack or tobacco, it does not matter as long as you do it within four minutes. Enjoy your smoke breaks.
  25. Unfilled drinks. However, unfulfilled dreams are fine.
  26. Dirty silverware being rolled. I agree and according to point #24, dirty weed is fine for rolling.
  27. “That’s not my job.” Sorry, if some bitch throws up a Philly Cheesesteak Omelette all over the table and I see you walking towards me with a mop, those are the first four words that will come out of my mouth. The next two will be “I” and “quit.
  28. “I’m on dish today.” Again, what the fuck does this mean?
  29. Leaving ketchup, etc. on table. You can leave the bottles of ketchup but none of the ketchup itself. This will be awkward when a customer wants some for their fries and all you are allowed to give them is an empty bottle of ketchup.
  30. Properly wiping off tables so you get all excess food off of it! This is the only sin with an exclamation point, so Dan means business. He is going to be seriously pissed off if you properly wipe a table, so leave that food all over the damn place. But not ketchup. That would be wrong.
  31. Not being proud of where you work. Wait, so no Bitch Face AND I have to be proud of where I work?? Oh, hell no.
  32. Ringing in the wrong side. This is similar to waking up on the wrong side. Of the bed.
  33. Waiting on fries. Yeah, why bother waiting on fries since you aren’t allowed to leave any ketchup to go with them?
  34. Cold pancakes/eggs/french toast. In other words, stick your finger into every piece of food to make sure the temperature is correct.
  35. Microwaving anything. So why is there a microwave there, Dan?
  36. Spending too long at a table. You must inherently know the amount of time.
  37. Spending too short at a table. Dan is not going to tell you details. You can have four minutes to smoke crack, but all other time limits must be instinctual.

49 thoughts on “Found: The Man You Never Want To Work For

  1. Joseph

    It kind of sounds like he runs a Denny’s with that list.

    I totally don’t get the biscuit thing or the ‘bargain box’.

    Reply
  2. Shelby

    At least they get smoke breaks! I must work at the only restaurant that doesn’t allow them…if you sweep the parking lot or take the garbage out and are lucky enough to not have a manager follow you, cigs can be smoked secretly.

    This guy seems like an asshat

    Reply
    1. Denise in WI

      I have to say, I totally get the smoking thing. It’s an unappetizing turn off to have a server who reeks of cigarettes. Plus, as a non-smoker, I’d always have to cover for all the smokers while they took their breaks. (Non-smokers didn’t get breaks).

      Reply
      1. Matthew Tyler

        My mom used to be a server and she would insist on being allowed to take “bubble breaks” since her coworkers were allowed smoke breaks. She would go outside and blow bubbles for ten minutes.

        Reply
        1. Krista

          I still take smoke breaks 5 years after quitting! I just don’t smoke. We all need to our calming space for a few minutes 🙂

          Reply
  3. Anonymous

    Honestly if you think this list is that demanding, you don’t deserve to work in the serving industry. These are all for the most part very standard and basic rules.

    Reply
    1. Olive

      Speaking as a FOH manager, I think the issue is not that it’s a demanding list, but that it’s a bit bizarre, with the noted exception of a few standard rules.

      Reply
    2. monica

      oh, blow it out your fucking taint. it obviously isn’t most of this list that’s being criticized, it’s the absurd shit the guy put on there and the fact that he put them all on this stupid list for new employees instead of giving them actual info about the physical space they would be serving in. i think a better manager would have the nads to make all this known face to face. no surprise that he’s too chickenshit passive to tell people his dumb personal rules so just gets on microsoft word and merges them in with rules that actually make sense so he can go “i don’t see what the problem is, -most- of these are expected of all servers”

      i work with about ten people who are just like this guy (not in the food industry) and i know that whole game too well

      Reply
  4. Angela

    I must admit, I used #27right before I quit. I told the manager either you want me to serve food or you want me to clean up vomit and there’s no way in hell that I’m cleaning puke.

    He told me I was being insubordinate and I told him that he was being an asshole and then I dropped my receipts off at the counter, walked out the door and never looked back.

    Reply
    1. julyjeanne

      I am not a server, but I can definitely chime in and say I agree with you 100%. Serving food after cleaning up vomit is completely dusgusting and unsanitary. Any manager who asked a server to do that should be fired, not the other way around. Nasty!

      Reply
  5. robb

    Some of these things are pretty common sense, but that doesn’t mean Dan has to be a grundle monkey about it…I’ve gone off on managers for less douchey-ness..some people have such shitty lives they think that just because they manage some shitty restaurant it makes them superior. It’s the only thing that makes them feel better about an existence they know won’t ever amount to more than middle management at some shit job. Dan probably has a small dick and the herpes. Feel bad for him. As for the anon that commented on not deserving to work in food service..you need to remove your own genitalia from the depths of your anus. Nobody DESERVES to work in food service, we CHOOSE to. It’s a calling, for the courageous, for the outgoing, for the awkward, for those who are willing to champion the responsibility of making others happy and dealing with the assholes of the world, often swallowing our pride and comprimising our beliefs in how such people deserve to be treated. We make it a living to make people happy and give them good experiences and memories, often while being shit on by the very people we want to please. All the while we are expected to be polite, and smile, regardless of what is happening in our own lives or how horrible a guest is treating us. My dad died at 1:30 am and I still worked a full shift that same morning…anyone who works in food service is intelligent and capable of other lines of work, we choose to serve because it’s fun, you meet lots of people, you form close bonds with coworkers over the high stress and intense shifts, and shared experiences with the dickfarts to have to deal with. You, anonymous, deserve nothing better than the jizz-mop at a dirty adult movie theatre. (Apologies to all the jizz-moppers out there, I consider it a community service and mean no disrespect. )

    Reply
    1. Shannon

      Robb…that was fantastic. Do you have a blog? If not, you should. I would read that shit every day.

      And Bitchy, as always, that was wonderful. I wish I knew what restaurant this was, so I could get hired, work one day and commit all 37 sins and see how long it took Dan to have a rage aneurysm.

      Reply
      1. robb

        Thanks! Not a bad idea but I’d have no idea how to start, tho I’m open to suggestions for sites to host it..meanwhile check me out on twitter @robbisntfunny 🙂

        Reply
    2. sally

      Perfectly stated Robb. And I would add that waiting tables is a good workout. You stay fit whether you want to or not!

      In my experience, often the worst part about working in restaurants were the power-drunk and sometimes lascivious managers and owners.

      Reply
  6. Paulina

    I’d like to add something to Dan’s list: Don’t hit a guest over the head with a beerstein (Something that allegedly happened in the 1950ies at the Munich Oktoberfest if a waitress got really bitchy. I am told those ladies did not take crap.)

    Reply
  7. Denise in WI

    Actually, “sin” #30 is written as, “Properly wiping off tables so you get all excess food off of it!” So if properly wiping it off is a sin, then he must want you to do a sloppy job of it?

    Reply
  8. Maria

    I don’t his requests are that hard and very resonable, but the way he presented them were very unproffesional. I work at a diner and the owners let us reach them anytime on their personal phones if it has to deal with the restauran. And they don’t mind if we spend alittle extra time at a table talking to the customers because if the customer likes us and wants to talk to us they’ll be back. If you just do what you are suppose to there shouldn’t be any problems. This guy went about this the wrong way. He probably had good intentions but came off as a dick head instead.

    Reply
  9. Cayla

    Apply these rules at an actual restaurant and see the turn over rate sky-rocket. This list is verging on disrespectful to an employee. I can see why she quit. Thisis wat you are given on day one AND inadequate training? How the hell are you supposed to insure you don’t break these precious rules? This restaurant would never make it in the community I live in.

    Reply
  10. Dan

    I’m actually the author of this list, and the owner of the restaurant in question. This is a tongue in cheek add on to your normal run of the mill server orientation packet that’s bored everyone that’s ever worked in a restaurant to tears. Ours is 40 pages and is a hugely in depth training manual. This is given to all staff members as we are a fun place and we like to keep it light. So… for all you assholes that just wanted to comment with out getting the full story I too will go point by point. I’d also like to give you a piece of advise as an owner of a

    Reply
    1. Dan

      Phone died… I shall continue… thriving establishment. Serving 100% is a privilege, and can very easily be one of the most rewarding jobs out there. Don’t be so quick to be miserable, or you will be miserable at your job. I expect my staff to be fun, energetic, and positive always, with this I expect and will continue to expect greatness from them. Below are point by point responses to this dickbag author, who instead of making any real money, runs a website to continue the plague of miserable lived servers. A plague we simply do not tolerate in my restaurant. To the level of it say’s “Be Nice” on the back of our t-shirts.

      Title – The man you never want to work for – I have people still working for me since the day we opened our doors, 6 years ago, I’ve also met my best friend, and longtime girlfriend as staffmembers. Clearly he’s offbase to begin with.

      Maybe you will learn something when I explain this to you and be a better person / server (if you ever were one).

      “What can I get you to drink?” I am assuming he wants servers to suggestively sell things and say shit like, “Can I get you a glass of orange juice or a fresh cup of coffee?” (Yes, and further more it’s rude, we have a fabulous cocktail list, made by professional mixologists. Not to mention its fucking dumb for a server not to offer a drink. Our per plate average is $6-$12 our cocktails run from $5-$9, this is basically like adding another person to your table in our cafe. And anybody that’s ever served before knows higher the check average higher the tips)>

      Un-prebussed tables. I’m with Dan. This is a good thing. Maybe not a cardinal sin, but a good thing. (It is a cardinal sin – messy tables can flat out ruin the experience for the guest. There’s a reason why at 5star establishments they actually “decrumb” the table for you before presenting desert.)

      Cell phones in the dining room. Again, not an uncommon rule, but that’s what aprons are for, right? (No – servers aren’t stupid, cell phone in apron means cell phone being checked in a corner / checked in the bathroom / checked in the waitstation. There’s a phone in the store, if there’s an emergency call the store. Phones are to be left in a bag or in your car. When you’re on my time, I don’t need you distracted by a fucking snapchat. That’s time that could be spent doing something for guest or co-worker)

      Eating in the dining room. Pretty normal request. (No argument)

      Horsing around in the dining room. I would ask for a definition of “horsing around.” Does he mean there is to be no galloping or eating of hay? Are servers allowed to have a good time while at work as long as they do not officially trot? (What synonym would you like me to use for “horsing” around, it’s an expression moron. We all know the crazy antics that go on in restaurants… these things are meant to be kept in the back where they are not seen by guests, again have you ever worked anywhere where people actually cared about the product they’re presenting?)
      Being late and not calling the store. Yes, Dan, good point. (No arguement)
      Texting/calling Dan’s personal cell phone for work related matters. This one confuses me. They cannot call about work related issues, but I guess they can call just to shoot the breeze and talk about life. If he truly does not want people to call his cell phone he should probably not give the number to his staff. Also, servers should remember that if they do want to call him about non-work related issues, to only do it when he is not in the ding room, otherwise he won’t get the message. (See cardinal sin #3.) (No dummy, there’s 3 other managers that work there – and believe it or not I’m not always there, thus, they need to call the store so that the Manager on Duty know what’s going on. Simple responsibility – which clearly you have none of).

      Not cleaning up after yourself. Fine. I agree. (no arguement)

      Bad attitudes. Uh oh, I might have a problem here. I think it should say no “outwardly” bad attitudes, because if my attitude is crap but I can manage to keep it inside where no one knows about it, then my attitude can be as bad as it fucking wants to be.(No bad attitudes are cancer, and are in direct conflict with our “be nice” motto. Bad attitudes spread like cancer, and rub off on one another. FOH people especially need to put on a show, so to speak, each and every time they walk in the building. Anything that is causing a “bad attitude” should be left at the door. And since you like to argue semantics so much throughout this – very clever and simple way of making an arguement – If you keep your bad attitude is kept inside at all times, how the fuck would anyone know you have a bad attitude, thereby you’d be abiding by my rule dummy).

      Dropping menus off at a table and walking away. Dropping off menus and running away is perfectly acceptable. (Running out of ideas are we? Our whole staff gets this list – this is for hosts. One of the worst habits a host can have is to just drop menus off at a table and walk away. A simple “so and so will be right with you” goes an infinitely long way.

      Bitch faces. Okay, fire me now. (See two rules above – if you look miserable, and/or are perceived to be miserable, you must be miserable, nobody wants to be served by Grumpy Cat.

      Requesting off for the wrong year. The wrong year? Do people really have to put in their requests 12 months in advance? (No dumbass – we actually live in 2014 and do schedules digitally, so when you click the year some people will click the wrong year. Then you complain that you get scheduled. We are actually 1 of the few places I have ever seen that have never denied a request off. It’s one of the very few perks of working in a restaurant. So we as managers don’t ever even look at the dates, we just approve them, thus why it is critical that people request off correctly. And believe it or not it has happened enough times to make the list.

      Starting sidework when the dining room is messy (especially on weekends). What if your sidework is in the back of the house and you don’t know that the dining room is messy? (Semantics again – so clever, we’re one of the busiest places to work in our city, so it’s critical that we do as good a job keeping the place clean as we possibly can, which is a constant challenge. This simply means to clean your section before you go to the back to do the rest of your shit.)

      “I have to go to my other job.” Okay, this is bullshit. If someone has to work two jobs to get though life, then both jobs need to understand that they are of equal importance. (no as a business owner, you have a duty to schedule yourself in a manner that works for both businesses. When someone tells me before their things are done, that they have to leave, it tells me the other job is more important. I worked 3 jobs for my first 10 years in the industry and was never late or left early at one of them. It’s called respecting your work and doing your job fully.)

      Being more than 10 minutes late and not calling. Didn’t we already go through this with #6, Dan? You can eliminate one of them and shorten your list to 36. (Didn’t we discuss there’s a phone in the store? Do you even realize that there was a whole big huge world out there that functioned when there was no cellphones?, and to add on to #6 there’s also a thing called email nowadays. IF there is an work related issue that needs my attention, it’s better to be addressed in a more formal manner than a text message. And yes I welcome my staff to text me about things other than work. Most employees would love that – I think of them all as my children, delinquent as most of them are, I truly care for each and every one of them.)

      Un-presentable food. That seems like it should be on the list for the kitchen crew. (No again, servers are responsible for delivering the food, and are the last line of defense before it hits the table, and they all have the right of refusal, how many of you actual servers have had that privilege before, or at least have been mortified by dropping off a charred steak that was supposed to be rare, only to get a 5% tip, hhmmmm?? Thought so)

      Not talking about specials. If the restaurant is Denny’s or Cracker Barrel, how special can the special be? Is it really worth talking about? (You don’t have a clue pal, there’s tons of places that do amazing things with foods, Ok maybe you have worked in restaurants – but there’s a whole crazy world of food out there that doesn’t revolve around chains… well maybe not were you live… but I digress).

      We are out of ______ when it’s in a box. I am assuming this means he wants people to go to the stock room to look for napkins before declaring that the restaurant is out of them. I agree. (no arguement)

      We are out of ______ and not writing it on my list. Write it on the list but whatever you do do not text or call him about it. (This is just dumb, if we’re out of something shouldn’t the MOD (that’s Manager on Duty) know first. If i’m there, wouldn’t they tell me?)

      Clutter. Examples of clutter would copies of this fucking list. (you’re just losing steam at this point aren’t you)

      Crap from the bargain box. I have no idea what this means. (It’s the thriftstore that shares a back dock with us, people take stuff all the time then leave it in my restaurant, 1 it’s theft, to it just sits in my already too small kitchen – see clutter above)

      Running biscuits before hot food. This is a travesty. Biscuits ARE hot food, Dan, and the biscuit is one of the most important foods of any breakfast establishment. Your comment leads me to believe that you have something against biscuits, and that sir, makes you a dick biscuit. (Dick Biscuit? Clever again, well you sir are just an asshole that probably lives in his mothers basement at 40. You don’t even have an original website – shiftgig or ifyoucan’tafford to tip destroys you. If you can’t beat em join em right? I’m pretty sure my old Prodigy internet could load this page – super fancy, you’ve found your calling. Anyways – The reason this is on here is because biscuits go to every table, they’re our signature item for fucks sake. But as we are so busy – a feeling you’ve clearly never experienced or you wouldn’t be such a miserable “bitchy waiter” we place a premium on getting people what they actually ordered. Biscuits are like bread sticks at olive garden to us – you get them for free and endlessly Difference is, our guests actually like our food.

      Complaining about tipping out. Feel free to complain about how little you make, how crappy the sidework is and what a dick Dan may be. (they’re actually free to complain about me all the time, I have a great life, successful business, and am proud of who I am, anybody in a position of power gets complained about, it’s natural. Why they can’t complain about tipping out is really quite simple. They’re tipping out their co-workers and that should never be an issue. They are 1 unit, and I expect them to take care of eachother at all times. More than that even.

      Smoking for more than 4 minutes. This is my favorite point, because he does not specify what you can or cannot smoke in those four minutes. Marijuana, crack or tobacco, it does not matter as long as you do it within four minutes. Enjoy your smoke breaks. (goes without saying moron, again that part is in our 40 page handbook, and is illegal… you’re just grasping at this point).

      Unfilled drinks. However, unfulfilled dreams are fine. (re-read last sentence in above point).

      Dirty silverware being rolled. I agree and according to point #24, dirty weed is fine for rolling. (Did you take a bong rip half way through this or something? Then nap? You’re barely making sense anymore.)

      “That’s not my job.” Sorry, if some bitch throws up a Philly Cheesesteak Omelette all over the table and I see you walking towards me with a mop, those are the first four words that will come out of my mouth. The next two will be “I” and “quit. (this is probably the exact reason why you’ve never amounted to anything more than a pathetic blogger. Successful people don’t have a vocabulary of “that’s not my job” Successful people have ownership if any and all things that they do, and is a big reason why they are successful. I try to inspire all of my staff, who often have dreams of their own outside the hospitality industry to adopt such an attitude as it will take them infinitely further in life. We are all one, and no job is bigger or smaller than anyone, I was dishes and pickup puke with best of them, my first night as a barback ever, 15 years ago it was the first thing I ever had to do 5 minutes after walking in.)

      “I’m on dish today.” Again, what the fuck does this mean? (Again, this goes to the whole staff, as it’s fun – so this is meant for kitchen, during slower periods we won’t schedule a dishwasher, and members of the cook team are responsible for dishes. They have a tendency to get lost over there and not help out on the line if needed. Again see “that’s not my job comment”

      Leaving ketchup, etc. on table. You can leave the bottles of ketchup but none of the ketchup itself. This will be awkward when a customer wants some for their fries and all you are allowed to give them is an empty bottle of ketchup. (again, we’re not a burger bar, ketchup isn’t part of our decor, it’s lazy serving, condiments are an accent to a meal, what if the next person at that table didn’t order anything that would even remotely require ketchup, what if they hate ketchup, what if they’re allergic to ketchup? It’s pure lazy serving and we don’t do lazy serving).

      Properly wiping off tables so you get all excess food off of it! This is the only sin with an exclamation point, so Dan means business. He is going to be seriously pissed off if you properly wipe a table, so leave that food all over the damn place. But not ketchup. That would be wrong. (I gotta eat this one, I forgot the Not, this will be amended on future version(s) – joke and joke away, it’s deserved).

      Not being proud of where you work. Wait, so no Bitch Face AND I have to be proud of where I work?? Oh, hell no. (Yes pure and simple, a company staff is and are it’s ambassadors, it’s the second question people ask after they meet someone, it is very important. I don’t want people that aren’t proud of what they do / where they work. Not just for me, but for their own fucking happiness as a person.

      Ringing in the wrong side. This is similar to waking up on the wrong side. Of the bed. ((you hit a high note with killing me on wiping off tables – and you’ve lost steam again) we are a restaurant, not a buffet, or whatever the fuck kind of place you’ve worked because I honestly can’t figure it out at this point, anybody that has worked in a restaurant knows what a side is. Steak (Potatoe’s / Fries / Grits / Collards) our guests have choices, and it makes us all look stupid if we don’t get orders right)

      Waiting on fries. Yeah, why bother waiting on fries since you aren’t allowed to leave any ketchup to go with them? (An issue in our restaurant that frankly you wouldn’t understand unless you worked there, fries are consistently forgotten to be dropped and thus the entree is sitting and waiting on french fries… )

      Cold pancakes/eggs/french toast. In other words, stick your finger into every piece of food to make sure the temperature is correct. (i’m sorry, basic principle of food at work here hot food should be hot, cold food should be cold, for fucks sake man – I know you’re trying to be creative here… but jesus, that’s like food 101).

      Microwaving anything. So why is there a microwave there, Dan? (it finally broke – and we haven’t replaced it I guess another edit is in order).

      Spending too long at a table. You must inherently know the amount of time.
      Spending too short at a table. Dan is not going to tell you details. You can have four minutes to smoke crack, but all other time limits must be instinctual. (yes dummy, we teach our servers to read a table, a single diner may want you to stay at a table to entertain them, some other diners may not, we unlike most places encourage individuality out of our serving staff. Again, not a privilege you’ve ever had and I’m sorry for you.)

      All in all I know in today’s world it’s very easy to sit behind a computer and trash someone. But it’s important that we look at both sides of something before we destroy it. At the end of the day I’m sorry for you as I am sorry for all of the “bitchy servers” out there, that just can’t seem to not be miserable. Don’t get me wrong, there are some downright deplorable managers out there as well, and owners, but at the end of the day, the industry is by far one of the most rewarding, fun, and positive things you can do with your life. You have the ability to touch so many different people and genuinely better there life, even if it’s for a single moment. It’s people like you sir that ruin it for the rest of us that love what we do, love the people that work for us, and love the people who visit us. I’m sure you’ll have some witty retort after another rip.. but I will not. I have too much to do and too many great people to worry about.

      To that end – if anyone is looking for a great job, feel free to email me a resume at Daniel.Palatucci@gmail.com. If you’re going to try and continue the debate, don’t bother I won’t engage any of you again.

      Reply
      1. NonServer

        Honestly, Dan, when I first read the list, I didn’t think it was so bad. Sure, you’re treating your staff like children, but hey, who am I to judge? Maybe they’ve behaved like children and given you a reason.

        But your explanation is so much worse than the actual list. You are a pretty crappy person.

        Reply
        1. HASserved

          How is Dan a crappy person for this? Good for him for defining his actual intent of this list instead of letting the hundreds (to thousands? No idea how many readers on here) criticize him. Perhaps your screen name (NonServer) points out the amount of regard one should have for your response; once you’ve served, you’d completely understand how this is relevant if you actually want to get ahead and make a living serving. It’s pretty simple.

          Rock on, Dan. Yeah, I’ll agree, embarrassing, but you’re doing your thing.

          Reply
          1. Chrissy

            IF any of you commenting on this saying Dan is an asshole had ever worked in a restaurant you would know this list is NOTHiNG. none of these rules are asking very much out of the servers. Every Restaurant has rules and I’m sure if this blogger went around and interviewed managers on the rules they would be very similar. There are honestly probably much much worse managers you could have. ALSO servers in a busy restaurant can make any where from 100-400 dollars in one shift so dont complain when you actually have to do some work. IF you had ever worked in a restaurant you would know that all servers LOVE to complain about tipping out. Im sure if I was a manger it would get pretty annoying. YOURE tipping them out because they worked to help you. why would you keep all the tips when they did part of the work.

          2. NonServer

            Dan sucks because instead of using this as an opportunity to point out that none of these are really all that egregious (and they aren’t), he resorted to name calling and belittling. Don’t have to be working as a waiter currently to know that is not the way to make your point. And then to wrap everything up with “I won’t engage any of you again” proves he is incapable of having a rational conversation. So yeah, he is a crappy person and I stick to my point.

            I haven’t been a server for 20+ years. But I’ve done it, and it stuck with me. I have complete respect for anyone who does it – very hard way to earn a living. Most of the things on this list are common sense to me. But in the 20 years since then, I’ve never talked down to employees who have worked for me the way Dan has above. If it works for him, great. But the fact that he feels the need to defend himself here indicates that maybe there is room for some constructive feedback.

      2. monica

        >this is probably the exact reason why you’ve never amounted to anything more than a pathetic blogger

        dude you manage a restaurant. nothing wrong or low about that but the motivational speech about successful people is just really unnecessary and kind of opens you up to mockery

        Reply
  11. robb

    Looks like Danny boy should spend a Lil less time trying to prove he’s not a douchedick and spend a Lil more time banging his old lady… then maybe she could pull that dildo out his ass so he’s not so damn uptight.

    Reply
    1. Ryan

      Nice, is that a preview of your upcoming blog material? I can’t wait to read more cracks about the size of someone else’s penis and what foreign objects may be inserted into their rectum. I truly feel as if I’m witnessing the beginning of the next step in the evolution of the internet forum equivalent of calling someone’s mother fat.

      I work for Dan; more specifically I’m one of the managers. The funniest thing about this is that this silly list is actually a subject of discussion at all. It’s not a set of rules that we have posted up anywhere. We don’t run around screaming at our servers for every single instance that a ketchup bottle is left at a table, nor do we fire people the moment a complaint about tipping out passes through their lips. I think I’ve referenced this list a handful of times outside of orientation, and that’s because most of the stuff on there is common sense. The function of this list is actually exactly as Dan said it is; it’s the last page of our servers’ orientation packet. It directly follows several pages detailing how to be a successful server, host, cook, etc. It is meant to make light of a lot of the unspoken common sense rules in many restaurants. It’s a managerial vent session meant to be a bit of a joke; a couple of our site specific references should make that clear (see: Bargain Box and requesting off for the wrong year). We’re a different kind of place and we pride ourselves on that fact. We try to have a lot of fun, we take the staff out, we have our own personal Facebook group, we joke around with each other, and we work hard in turn. It’s not everybody’s cup of tea, and in this particular instance it’s fair to say that not everyone will appreciate the joke. Honestly though if this list so grievously offends you that you turn around and walk out the door, how exactly do you deal with the (far worse) flak we all receive in our industry? I don’t mean that as a jab at the author’s source at all; I mean that as food for thought for all the readers on the page.

      Also, it’s a bit hypocritical to rip apart someone’s attempt at putting humor and a vent session into writing on a website that provides humor and vent sessions put into writing on a daily basis. Managing comes with its own set of frustrations as does serving, and really with any profession. His vent session is actually rather controlled; it’s rather tame compared to what I’ve seen from other general managers. Maybe I’m crazy and we’re all dick biscuits, but in that case we’ll be dick biscuits together and continue to love each other.

      Reply
      1. robb

        Jesus Christ I didn’t even bother to read this…maybe if all your managers spent less time writing novels for websites they trash but continue to post on your servers wouldn’t be so pissed off all the time. And just for your entertainment purposes: you can both take your very tiny penises and fuck each other right in your exceptionally loose anuses. Feel free to ejaculate inside said anuses, scoop out said ejaculate with a spoon, and then serve it as your side. Just make sure it’s served hot and doesn’t come out after the biscuits. And your mother is fat.

        Reply
        1. Collin

          You’re assuming we’re pissed off all the time. I’ve worked there for over a year now and it is actually pretty chill. I mean, I get that you’re a troll and expect us to be upset but nah.

          Reply
          1. robb

            If yall were that chill you wouldn’t bother responding to a troll you shit-snuggler. My assumption is that you and both your managers would spend your time better by blowing each others cum bubbles out of your asses. All Dan had to do was say “yeah, I guess that list comes off kind of dickish, but it was meant to be funny, my bad” and it would’ve been fine. I haven’t met a server or bartender or manager yet that wasn’t at least a little bit of a dick..you have to have that hardness to put up with the shit we deal with everyday. But instead of admitting that its a bad joke and home girl just took it too seriously, he had to be Captain Douchey about it. And the way yall try to defend him instead of just being “chill” and laughing about it just makes it more pathetic.

        2. Joe

          lmao. If you actually read his “novel”, not even close to being a novel by the way, you would probably change your tone. You seem to hold on to homosexual jokes for whatever reason–rather childish really. Anyway just some more “food for thought” for the dolts out there.

          Reply
          1. robb

            Obviously I was using the word novel literally, thanks for pointing out my mistake…what would we do without people like you in the world? I’d prolly just spend all day fingering my own asshole while drooling uncontrollably. And I never said anything gay related, just because your denial over your own homosexuality has made you into a self-loathing homophobe doesn’t mean everyone else is like u and constantly thinking of sucking dick. Be honest with yourself, if not the rest of the world, and finally come to terms with the fact that you enjoy multiple cocks inside you.

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